Day 222: The Belly of A Star

Things That Made Me Smile Today:

1. I Am the Belly of A Star

I found the original person’s name who wrote the following quote that has been circulating around social media pages; and then found the person’s promotional Facebook page. And I liked what I found. By the way, by the author’s account, NASA plagiarized his words below; that makes me feel like a kindred spirit. Not that NASA has stolen any of my work, yet. But they do do research on alien life, right? (hehe: I wrote do-do.)

“Consider that you can see less than 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum and hear less than 1% of the acoustic spectrum. As you read this, you are traveling at 220 km/sec across the galaxy. 90% of the cells in your body carry their own microbial DNA and are not “you.” The atoms in your body are 99.9999999999999999% empty space and none of them are the ones you were born with, but they all originated in the belly of a star. Human beings have 46 chromosomes, 2 less than the common potato. The existence of the rainbow depends on the conical photoreceptors in your eyes; to animals without cones, the rainbow does not exist. So you don’t just look at a rainbow, you create it. This is pretty amazing, especially considering that all the beautiful colors you see represent less than 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum.” –Sergio Toporek

image from Wikipedia

2. Superb Self-Awareness

I admitted to myself that my fixation to blog has turned into a fixation to prepare my son’s homeschool curriculum; and laughing at the fact, that beyond eating and sleeping, all I did today was research. I can plan a month’s worth of curriculum and lesson plans in two days. Yes, I am that good…or quirky…or driven…or crazed. You pick. I don’t care.

Excellent Source:

3. Happy Babies

In the little time I stopped obsessing over homeschool, I found this twin baby video someone had shared on Facebook…..oh….this is joy.  I could feasibly be one of the first 20,000 people to see what is soon to have a million plus views! I’m always the last to know! Not this time.

4. Appreciating What Happens In Between

I took two long hot showers today: one before my massage and one after. Yes!

5. Accepting my Circumstances with Grace and Gratitude

I ate out and had a not so fun reaction body-wise (yes, body is wise to not want chemicals in food). And was on the couch (researching) most of the day. But I didn’t put myself down about my lack of vigor, my fatigue and lingering pain. Instead, I rolled with the flow, and reminded myself of the source: food. And reminded myself how lucky I am to have a husband who never complains when I am on the couch, and who even cleaned the whole of the kitchen. And no, I don’t fake my fatigue to get the kitchen cleaned, but the thought has crossed my mind.

6. Knowing I AM…the ant that moves the  rubber tree plant!

I read (and cried over) a comment a reader left for me under this link on Female Traits which reminded me of why I continue to post. Why despite my fatigue, mood swings, sometimes lack of confidence, and various distractions (euphemism for fixations), I will continue to share with authenticity and high-hopes.

7. No Longer Driven to Take Photos of ME

After several months, I do not have the need to post a photo of myself! I finally figured out what I look like. Yes, I still see myself in parts, but I’ve put the parts together into a makeshift puzzle, glued the pieces together onto cardboard, and hanged a copy in my mind. I’m fairly certain I’m a bendy doll with over-sized alien eyes, elven ears, hair with its own intelligence and stubbornness, and a smile that is still searching for a home, but will always keep knocking.  Yep, that sounds about right.

8. I Have Lost the Angst

Since May I’ve had an ache in my…oh, I better delete this number, as to not depress my husband. Those of you who need to know, see  My Aching Loins.

9. Texting my Son

I pretended to be my teenage son’s girlfriend (obviously he knew I wasn’t) and sent him a text reminding him that his mom (that’s me) wanted him to get off the Xbox game system he was playing downstairs. I am upstairs, and like I mentioned, couch-bound. He texted back “??????What???????” I texted: “Poor Guy.” Then he texted, or at least I thought he texted: “Um, I’m not even close to ten.” And I thought, wow, he really is a Leo, with that witty bite. He thinks I am immature. That I act like a ten-year-old. I felt a tinge of guilt for being so quirky and odd, and was thinking of how to apologize, when I reread his text. It read: “Um, its not even close to ten.” So I’d misread the clock and his text. But my son didn’t make fun of me! At least not like when I told him I purposely got this temporary second brain tattoo just to embarrass him on our son and mother outing.

10. Rediscovering Galileo

There is some language in this one. I think my thirteen year old would like to be homeschooled at this speed and with this language. This is my competition. Oh, boy!

Remembering Galileo. Remembering my favorite song Galileo by my favorite band (in the 90’s) The Indigo Girls. Remembering I dragged my boyfriend to an Indigo Girls’ concert on a hot August day. Remembering that we squeezed our way through a sweaty thick crowd to get a better view of the band. Remembering I started to look around. Remembering there were only women. Remembering all the women were kissing super close. Remembering that my boyfriend looked at me and said, “You do know that the band members are lesbian? Right?” And me, with my eyes growing wide, asking, “Really?”

Did I mention, I’m usually the last to know?

I now bring you awesomeness….

Oh, look; it’s post 222….

Okay…so I just posted this post: Day 222: The Belly of a Star. We call it “publishing” in blog world. Right after I posted WordPress (who gives me this blog) sends me a notice, like they always do, if someone has commented on my blog or linked my post to their blog. A little orange light goes off in the upper right hand corner of my blog to notify me.

Well, I’m looking at this light and reading, and I see it’s someone named The Belly of a Star, and I’m thinking: Wow, that’s a really cool name. I wonder what their blog is like?

The truth is, I do this each and everytime that I link back to an older post of mine. Everytime I think someone else has linked to my blog. I forget it’s me!

This time, I even thought: Wow, what a coincidence that she was looking at the exact same post I was at the exact same time; and she linked to her blog, just like I did.

And then L.V. (The little voice in my head); she says that person is you CRAZY LADY. You wrote The Belly of a Star. Remember it was like two fricken seconds ago, brainless!

And I think: Wow, that’s a cool name, Belly of a Star.

I know…I know…you don’t have to tell me. I know I say Wow way too much. 🙂

Day 153: Call Me Sunshine

A song I wrote this morning to play on my guitar today. Inspired by my friends I have met through blogging. I love you all so much and am ever so thankful for your beauty. ~ Sam

Call Me Sunshine

Call me sunshine, call me darling

Call me river flowing through

Call me angel, call me heaven

Call me lovely stream of blue

Let me whisper in your morning

Let me tickle you at night

Let me rest outside your window

Let me garnish you in white

I am sister, I am brother

I am sunlight, I am sin

I am answer, I am question

I am silence on the wind

Watch me fly now, to the valley

Where the secrets never die

Watch me fly now, to the mountains

Where we both can touch the sky

Carry onward, through the grassland

Carry onward, through the brush

March in rhythm, to the seasons

Of our nature’s gentle touch

Of our mothers, of our fathers

Of our lovely beating hearts

Take my hand now, take my stories

Join together, what was apart

We are truth now, we are glory

We are beauty evermore

Fear no longer, fear no troubles

Call me sunshine you adore

I am sister, I am brother

I am sunlight, I am sin

I am answer, I am question

I am silence on the wind

Day 138: Fishy in the Blue

Maui 2012

This is a banjo song that I just wrote to play on my first guitar. Yes, I know. “Banjo song to play on my guitar”—sums up my life, fairly well. 

Fishy in the Blue

I’m living in a dreamland

The water’s ocean blue

Swimming to the outskirts

Of what I thought was you

But seeing only hard glass

That’s staring back at me

Sad eyes of the morning

Drenched in misery

Aquarium of aqua, and slowly merging green

Aquarium of absence, where you were meant to be

I’m living in a dreamland

Your face is all I know

Staring through the ripples

And watching as you go

Hunting through this glass cage

A sliver through a rock

Waiting for my sweet love

To give my home a knock

You’re shaking up my water

You’re shimmering my world

With all your fancy sparkles

And all your hidden jewels

A cauldron where a prince breathes

A castle undersea

You’re everything this fish needs

To live in luxury

I’m living in a dreamland

Your face is all I know

Staring through the ripples

And watching as you go

Hunting through this glass cage

A sliver through a rock

Waiting for my sweet love

To give my home a knock

There’s seahorses and urchins

And plenitude of schools

There’s suitors at my doorstep

Reciting gratitude

But I ain’t got no interest

Not even ‘nough to look

Too busy staring outward

A mermaid to a hook

I round the laps familiar

Still circling this place

Keep staring through that window

Keep giving love a chase

I’m living in a dreamland

Your face is all I know

Staring through the ripples

And watching as you go

Hunting through this glass cage

A sliver through a rock

Waiting for my sweet love

To give my home a knock

The bubbles they keep floating

Atop this prison cell

Serenading sadness

As far as I can tell

But I can’t stop my twanging

My fins to banjo string

You’re everything I wished for

You give this goldie wings

So sweetie  if you’re out there

Beyond this world of mine

Why don’t you come forward

So I can watch you shine

‘Cause I am just a fishy

In everything I do

A little fancy heartache

That’s swimming in the blue

~ Sam of the Blue

Post dedicated to my Irish Grandpa Mac. Rest in Peace.

June 2012

Day 120: Long Time Sun

I don’t know how to fake being happy. I am an open book. Even if someone taught me how to fake happiness, I couldn’t do it.

My eyes can’t lie, and neither can my soul. This inability to fake my emotions can bring about challenges. Perhaps cause others discomfort. Even my love can be over zealous, and maybe a bit smothering, depending on interpretation. And, thusly, so can my sadness.

But my gift of truth in emotions is greatly beneficial. I see things in me quite clearly, and have an expansive self-awareness. I am able to make beneficial change for myself. I can also see emotions in others. Everyone is like a water pool to me—sometimes crystal clear, other times murky. I feel the waters. Some are cold, some warm, and others entirely refreshing.

I carry much feeling within—both others and mine. This can be an overwhelming experience. Sometimes my emotions cannot be separated from others. This is challenging when people I love are going through hard times. I often wake up feeling upset and not knowing why, until I find out a close friend is suffering. Today, several people I know are going through life challenges.  I feel a pull of despair. Other days I feel pulls of elation.

Today I also am experiencing my own transition, as I went from the tropical climate of Maui, Hawaii to the cloudy, rainy skies of Washington. My body’s physical pain is retriggered by the climate. My mind, too, is affected by the darkness of outdoors. I have bid goodbye to great friends on the island of Maui, and the healing salty sea. I have a houseful of people adjusting to time change and some sickness, too.

Today, I reflect on ways to raise my energy, despite the events circling within me and about me.  Today I reflect on my long time sun.


Long Time Sun

Sometimes I forget my long time sun.

I forget that I hold the key to my own joy, peace, and serenity.

I forget because I hold deep desires to be seen.

I forget that I am already connected and understood.

I forget because I long to be accepted.

I forget to love myself unconditionally.

I forget because I cling to external ideals, ideas, goals, and plans.

I forget to let go.

I forget because I fall into familiar patterns.

I forget I hold the light to freedom.

I forget because I want to be noticed, loved, and adored.

I forget I am enough.

I forget because of life’s unexpected twists and turns.

I forget life is an endless transitioning cycle.

I forget because I ache from others’ words and actions.

I forget to comfort my own heart.

I forget because I see truths I don’t wish to see.

I forget I can choose how to see my world.

I forget because I turn inward and focus on myself.

I forget I am not the only one hurting.

I forget because I think I am in the shadows of dark.

I forget that I am a long time sun.


The Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace

Where there is hatred, let me sow love

Where there is injury, pardon

Where there is doubt, faith

Where there is despair, hope

Where there is darkness, light

Where there is sadness, joy

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console

To be understood as to understand

To be loved as to love

For it is in giving that we receive

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life

Maui 2012

Day 63: People Are Strange

For the 4-Play of my writing today, I watched cheesy videos on the Internet and learned:

59 million people have listened to a lady repeat the phrase “sitting on the toilet” about sixteen times. I played it twice and tried to count, and gave up. It ends with a flush.

19 million watched a “fat kid on rollercoaster” for 57 seconds. Who posts that?

35 million people watched a ninja baby for 36 seconds. That one was sort of cute.

10 million watched “young girl drops c-word on national TV…Twice.” It was on the Today Show.

Now I’m watching something called “Extreme Face Omelet.”

Each day I live, I become more confused by culture.

It’s been about an hour, and I’ve yet to find something I’d actually want to share with you. Except for the fact that my husband thinks I’m stranger than ever.

After watching freaky eaters, strange addictions, soggy flappy faces in slow motion, and Weird Al, and the like, I am quite worried that if alien life forms have access to human’s video clips, they’ll choose to extinguish the entire human race.

I’ve concluded: People are Strange.

At least we’ll always have the Brady Bunch.

My husband wanted me to remind you that the Brady Bunch lost to the dog act when they did their Keep on Movin’ dance scene.

Today, I was planning to share a story about how I was beaten with a board by strangers when I was a little girl. Now, after my introduction, I’m laughing and realizing child abuse just doesn’t fit with the feel of this post. So I’m keeping with the Strange Theme.

Unverified Strange Facts About People

Unverified because I’m not in college anymore, and I do not want to back things up with research ever again! Please keep in mind, my idea of strange is subjective and may not accurately represent your idea of strange.

  1. Some people let snakes slither on their backs for a snake massage. The treatments are said to ease migraines and soothe sore muscles.
  2.  In a sleep study researches discovered dreams prevent psychosis.
  3. Charles Dickens slept facing North. He believed this act would improve his writing.
  4. There are more collect calls on Father’s Day than any other day of the year.
  5. Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.
  6. In a survey Americans revealed banana was their favorite smell.
  7. Married men change their underwear twice as often as single men.
  8. On average 100 people will choke to death on ballpoint pens each year.
  9. On average a person farts 14 times a day.
  10. The earth could be repopulated to its current population level by the number of sperm that could fit in an aspirin capsule!
  11.  You are actually reading what I write in detail.

*Important side note: The colder the room you sleep in, the better the chances are that you will have a bad dream. That’s why I’ve had so many bad dreams since moving to Washington State.

Famous People With Autism (Unverified but cool!)

For those of you who need more:

Weird Laws Around the World

Top Ten Festivals for People to Throw Things