Day 214: Because I Am

I know who I am.

I have self-awareness. I see myself clearly. I accept myself.

I understand myself, as wild as I might be.

I know I am “good.”

I know I am light.

I know I have a purpose and a drive. I have a calling. I know my calling. And I follow my calling.

I know the difference between authenticity and pretending.

I know genuineness and pureness of heart.

I know suffering, deep suffering; and because I know deep suffering, I know your deep suffering.

I understand your pain because I have been in pain. I understand your joy, because I have known grand joy.

I do not feel separate from you or different; I feel as you; both of us souls on a journey of discovery.

I am light and can only love what is inherent beauty.

I see the light in everyone. I see it everywhere. And this adds to my sadness as it adds to my joy.

I see people walking in spirit. I see past the flesh and past the games that are invented by the lonely, lost man. I see past the visions that others paint in front of them in an attempt to hide. I see beyond their fears and happenstance, their intentions, motivations, and at times intended and unintended manipulation.

I see into the heart of man; and if I have to suffer to see so, then I suffer.

My mind is a miracle, a glorious miracle, and my heart even grander.

I love who I am in every aspect.

I have faced my shadows. I have faced the demons, the voices, the hauntings of mind and ghosts.

I have dreamed of the future and watched it unfold, and in so doing, stood in awe of the universe.

I have experienced life in the deepest capacity, at the deepest levels. I have lived.

I have watched my wishes come true. I have treaded through the darkest of days and come out stronger and self-sufficient. I am supported by myself. I have a companion in my own being. And I am supported by the angels, or spirits, or whatever is beyond our capacity to sense.

I feel energy around me from everything and everyone. I understand others in a way many do not yet understand.

I am humble. I recognize the pride in me and face this pride and gently release. I am insecure and recognize this too, embracing my beauty further, so insecurity may have a place to rest.

I am not ashamed of any part of me. I can speak my mind fully, my thoughts fully, and not wonder if I am being true to me. I am always true to me.

I can openly say when I am scared or frightened.

I am in totality. I am me.

I will be the first to say sorry and have no regret in doing so. I will be the first to say I love you with no intention but to say the words.

I don’t follow a guidebook to feel real. I follow my own book. And I get to write the present each moment.

I am genuine in my intentions. I constantly seek to be truth, to speak truth, to resonate truth.

I do not hunger for fame or attention. I do not hunger for success or material gain. I only hunger for peace and serenity.

I am truly gifted. I am gifted in my ability to live each moment as if it were my very testimony of being. I am gifted in my continual thoughts to be the most beneficial being on this plane of existence that I can be. I am gifted because I have no curtain. There is nothing to pull back and see. Nothing I hide. Nothing to take, expose, or corrupt.

I am hiding no secrets. And without secrets, there is no weapon anyone can use against me.

I embrace love, peace and serenity, and nearby is the continual quest for growth. I am growing.

I am worthy simply because I am.

Day 211: There Once Was a Little Girl Named Sam

There once was a little girl named Sam.

She spent her day in the wilderness amongst the walnut orchards and the towering oak trees, playing in the fields of tall grass. She was friends with all creatures grand and small. Every part of life was fascinating. Her own skin soft and delightful. The pink of her dog’s nose poking through where the black had worn away, a wet treat. The ants she watched with fascination. The wind she breathed in to catch. And the sky was her endless dream.

Nothing was missing or out of place. Everything moved as ordained in a perfect circle of give and take. Every part fit into place to make a glorious time, much as the intricate makings of a clock. All moved to produce one. All moved continually, and changed, and came back again. Returning to the eyes of the beholder what always was.

This little girl, she loved to dance and be. She could sit for hours and play inside her imagination whilst amongst nature’s gifts. Her bounty was the fallen twigs beneath her feet, the pebbles in her pockets and the taste of nectar on her tongue. Love was all about her, especially in the song of birds and the dipping of dragonflies as they danced reflecting the light with their transparent wings.

If colors were her world then the spectrum was grand—a thousand rainbows intertwined to form hues uncommon to the adult eye; colors that danced their own symphony producing brilliant songs from voices of angelic creatures.

There wasn’t a want or need. Just the simplicity of moving as one with the rest that danced. She was as a caterpillar set free upon endless green, nibbling at the gifts before her.

Until the rain came.

With the rain caterpillar ceased and butterfly was born. Butterfly was lovely, detailed and sketched in nature’s beauty, and able to fly and reach heights previously unimaginable. However, now she could dance outside her realm, her place, escape what she once knew as the only existence.

From up above, her angle changed. Her world became smaller and larger, all at once. Things she knew not of before appeared, and visions, she once believed in, vanished all together. As she watched and flew higher, she began to see where she’d been was nothing but a patch, a broken shattered fragment that with enough distance simply disappeared from sight.

When she returned and touched down, everything was altered, as her new eyes could not, as hard as she tried, see the terrain the same. All was different. All tainted with logic and reason and this undaunted inquiry.

That which was once simply existence, now was struggle. That which was once simply peace, turned to question after question. Her own beauty, that she had never doubted before, or even considered, now faded with her thoughts. And how those thoughts twisted within the others, creating a band so thick the toughest warrior could not break.

And now there were warriors. There were enemies and fighters. There were people who spoke untruths and hurt. There were diamonds that were stolen, treasures destroyed, and secrets kept. She knew then that the butterfly world was not where she belonged. Though she was butterfly.

She longed to return to the land of caterpillar. She longed for her old eyes, her old ways, her happiness.

She spent her days searching for kindness, for the place that once existed inside of her that was pure and innocent, the emerald of hope and faith that others now seemed to pierce and stab so often that she’d had to hide this essence out of fear of destruction.

And so she hid, inside herself, in this place.

When she was teased and admonished, she hid.

When she was tortured with looks and words, she hid.

When she tried to be as others wanted and she still was not enough, she hid.

And all the time she hid, she cried and wept for this land she knew before, where the birds sang and she only heard their music, where the wind blew and she only felt the air.

Now, with everything came explanation and reason. Now, with everything came doubt. And here, in this land of butterflies, she wished nothing but to pluck off her own wings and wither, if only to return to a part of her own self that could not fly above and see.

She’d wished for death, like so many misplaced butterflies do. Not death from her own being, but death from the world about her. To black out her surroundings and apply a fresh coat of white and paint again, a new picture, the one from before the rain came.

But still she remained butterfly.

As butterfly, she attempted to rebuild a cocoon, so she could crawl inside and wake up transformed to the time before.

As butterfly, she attempted to fly so high so she could leave behind all that was below. As butterfly, she tried to protect herself in armor, to shield her from the coming arrows. As butterfly, she tried to smear herself in masks and makeup, to pretend.

She tried and tried to no avail, and remained but a butterfly broken and alone, who knew of this land of before, when all about the rest had seemingly forgotten.

Until the time came.

And she heard an echo from the depths of her. And whispers poured in as the dew and quenched her unyielding thirst. She was shown then the way to caterpillar land. She was shown then how to bring peace to the butterfly. She was given the secret, the promise: a ray of hope so slender and tender that only this butterfly could keep safe.

And she did, inside of her deep, carried the ray day and night through years. Until the time came, and she knew what to do.

And so, with the coming season, with her heart knowing, as the light called from within, she set to spinning her ray, set her thoughts to words, so the world would know of the caterpillars, of the butterfly, of how the journey of broken, was also a journey of hope.

And in her weaving, the light shined and shined so bright from within, that the other lost butterflies found a way to this little Sam. And soon there were so many butterflies collected, that their wings together moved to carry them. And they moved and moved together, at last returning back home to the land of caterpillar, to the place they remembered of innocence and love, to the place of unreason and truth, to the place they could dance again in the spectrum of light united in their beauty. In a place where everywhere they looked they saw a reflection of self, and in so seeing realized the butterfly, though lost, had been found.

And so they danced, because of the promise of who they were, because of the place inside they kept all these years, they danced. And slowly they let go. Slowly the armor came off.

And slowly the light of the caterpillar shone through each of them so brilliantly that the world began to see that butterflies don’t have to let go of the caterpillar to fly.

Day 153: Call Me Sunshine

A song I wrote this morning to play on my guitar today. Inspired by my friends I have met through blogging. I love you all so much and am ever so thankful for your beauty. ~ Sam

Call Me Sunshine

Call me sunshine, call me darling

Call me river flowing through

Call me angel, call me heaven

Call me lovely stream of blue

Let me whisper in your morning

Let me tickle you at night

Let me rest outside your window

Let me garnish you in white

I am sister, I am brother

I am sunlight, I am sin

I am answer, I am question

I am silence on the wind

Watch me fly now, to the valley

Where the secrets never die

Watch me fly now, to the mountains

Where we both can touch the sky

Carry onward, through the grassland

Carry onward, through the brush

March in rhythm, to the seasons

Of our nature’s gentle touch

Of our mothers, of our fathers

Of our lovely beating hearts

Take my hand now, take my stories

Join together, what was apart

We are truth now, we are glory

We are beauty evermore

Fear no longer, fear no troubles

Call me sunshine you adore

I am sister, I am brother

I am sunlight, I am sin

I am answer, I am question

I am silence on the wind

Day 149: Carved Delicate

Carved Tree
Maui 2012

Carved Delicate

I used to dream of the life

I lost while I stood

Up high in the night

A lamb in the woods

My light shining strong

My fear kept within

The clang of my heart

Beat places I’d been

I used to dream of the life

I lost while I stared

From the highest peak

Surrounded and scared

Watching below

As entities came

Prowling at dusk

And howling my name

I used to dream of the life

I lost while I cried

Alone in the open

With no place to hide

Demons haunting

Where I did slumber

Fire lit eyes

Pulling me under

I used to dream of the life

I lost while I screamed

A victim of fate

Or so it did seem

That all my plans withered

Dried up in the drought

And left me parched-starving

And fed with death’s doubt

I used to dream of the life

I lost while I ran

Afraid of the days

Afraid of each man

A woman of black

Whose shadow had risen

All broken and wounded

And locked in her prison

I used to dream of the life

I lost while I broke

Wasting the days

Before I awoke

Dreading the times

And what was to be

Questioning my purpose

And past misery

I used to dream of the life I lost

But I don’t dream loss anymore

For deep from within

Mercy opened her door

So wide and so grand

Did joy’s entrance appear

A threshold to serenity

Carved delicate through tears

by Samantha Craft

June 2012

Day 147: Redemption

 Redemption

You were not born into slavery

You are no less a captive than the brightest wishing star

You are in no need of any type of ransom

For there are no chains that can hold you

No space that can keep you

You are as free as the ocean waves

You are a bird of sovereignty

Given wings of grandeur

Magnificent blended feathers of white

So mighty and bold, and ever so soft

Can you not see your perfection

Your beauty

Though you stand unmoved

With eyes stained in tears

Know there is no sadness

That cannot be liberated by thy very wings

My little dove of humanity

Why wait you

Go forward

Burst through

An angel to her mission

A mountaineer to his sheep

Slice across this imaginary bondage

Soar above the idleness of wrath, bitterness, and woe

They are but ash in the flame of forgiveness

Emancipate the weight of thy mind through acceptance

Break away from this dream land

Be as the blacksmith’s iron to fire

Bend in the heat of accordance

An ember endowed with source’s grace

Dear, dear compassionate one

Know you are amazement

Know you are joy

Wait no longer gentle bird of love

Emancipate your life

Embrace your wonderment

Liberate your essence

In the waters of truth

Washout all remnants of doubt

Bring rains to desert

Redeem your spirit’s calling

From sister malice

Redeem your growing passion

From brother fear

For you are not made for false imprisonment

Nor for substitutionary sacrifice

You are birthed without boundaries

Baptized in ceaseless acceptance

Delivered through eternal peace

Bathed in fountains of ever flowing benevolence

Retreat now from this forest of delusion

Play no more with painted ghosts and shadow makers

Resolved and renewed in this generation of truth

Set in motion your ordained and blessed flight

by Sam Craft

June 2012 

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Sam Craft’s photos
Maui 2012

“Now there is a final reason I think that Jesus says, “Love your enemies.” It is this: that love has within it a redemptive power. And there is a power there that eventually transforms individuals. Just keep being friendly to that person. Just keep loving them, and they can’t stand it too long. Oh, they react in many ways in the beginning. They react with guilt feelings, and sometimes they’ll hate you a little more at that transition period, but just keep loving them. And by the power of your love they will break down under the load. That’s love, you see. It is redemptive, and this is why Jesus says love. There’s something about love that builds up and is creative. There is something about hate that tears down and is destructive. So love your enemies.”  ~  Martin Luther King Jr.