Day 164: Undeep Road Thoughts

What I thought about while I drove eleven hours (700 miles) to California.

  1. “God gives us dope! God gives us dope! God gives us dope!” (Remembering back to when my young boys screamed this through the house, after they misheard the song lyrics: “God gives us hope.” I never had the heart to correct them.)
  2. Oh, I can pinch much less fat around my waist now.
  3. I wonder if I should use the all-wheel drive option for hills. Oh, what the heck. Let’s see what happens.
  4. Blue sky! I see blue sky! I wonder how tan I’ll get?
  5. “You know what?  Bird shit could easily be considered abstract art. Just look at it. (points to sidewalk) Even a good artist would have a hard time duplicating that.” ~ My middle son’s comment a few weeks ago
  6. The time when I was twelve, the seventh grade fieldtrip was to Ashland, Oregon, a seven hour school bus ride. On arrival I stepped on a nail and had to go the emergency room for a tetanus shot. On departure I threw up all over the backseat.
  7. The time I was a teacher and went to science camp with my fifth grade class and ended up in the emergency room for severe breakout of poison oak.
  8.  I’ve been in an ambulance at least six times.
  9. The time when I was a student at middle school, and in science class a boa constrictor snake wrapped itself around my waist, went through my belt hoops, and got stuck. I had to give the boa constrictor’s owner my pants to take home. Why does weird stuff always happen to me?
  10. There are a whole lot of songs about love and heartbreak on the radio, that pretty much cover every possible scenario, and that I’ve just about experienced every single scenario.
  11. My muse. My darling muse. The enigma who makes me read, write, and digest erotica.
  12. My youngest son is much like a wild hamster in the way he nests and clutters up the backseat of the van. Is there such a thing as wild hamsters?
  13.  I never ever see tailgaters in Washington, but see them all over California.
  14. Who thought it was a good idea to close California state parks? Who thought it was a good idea to elect the Terminator as a governor?
  15. Country singers can make anything sound sad and sexy.
  16. It was so kind of the restaurant waitress to subtract the price of the vegetarian omelet from my bill after I politely explained that they might want to be careful not to accidentally have chunks of ground beef in the veggie omelet.
  17. How wonderful that you have to let someone pump your gas in Oregon. It’s the law.
  18. How fortunate that out of all the gas stations in the upper portion of California that I happened to pick the only free full-service gas station. And that the man with the one arm and missing teeth who pumped my gas had the most beautiful energy and spirit. And that I could feasibly marry a man with one arm and missing teeth. And that looks do not matter to me nearly as much as the energy I share with a person. And that I need to stop worrying about my looks, because I radiate love and positive energy. And I am beautiful just like the man with one arm and missing teeth.
  19. How great that so many people have the capacity to travel the manmade road, through manmade passage ways, passages that were exploded with dynamite.
  20. Trucks are sexy. I would make a lousy truck driver.
  21.  I think way too much about way too much, and could probably survive with my sanity intact in solitary confinement because of my vivid imagination and inquisitive thought processes.
  22. For some reason the phrases “pump my gas” and “big rig” sound erotic.
  23. I’m so happy. I wonder if I drank too much iced-tea.
  24. I’m having a really good hair day.

49 thoughts on “Day 164: Undeep Road Thoughts

  1. Hello lovely, I love this post it’s really given me a giggle, we are so very alike. I am in a little cafe having a wonderful cup of tea and I actually laughed of loud at number 21. People looked at me, I have a big mug so I hid in it…giggle. I know you know what I mean. 🙂
    Thanks for sharing your beautiful mind with us and your many many many many thoughts. I’m sure there were tons more, I know your brain is like mine and NEVER switches off.
    Ok…I’m off to buy my bulk sack of kitty/shitty litter now.
    I love you, your brain and your heart loads.
    Me. Xxx 🙂 ❤

    1. yay for the giggles!!! 🙂 Power to the brains! I read your words right before I went to sleep last night; perfect timing. You are so lovely with your very thoughtful comments. Big HUGS. xoxox basna

  2. Bird shit could be considered abstract art…? that will have me laughing for weeks to come, or every time I see a heap… I’ll never forget that one…
    “I radiate love and positive energy. And I am beautiful just like the man with one arm and missing teeth.” I picture you as a beautiful lady, certainly not without limbs…. God gives us dope! God gives us dope! this post is just too precious for words, it has entirely made my day, I shall smile the day away thinking about this list… Thank you for sharing, I just love it…

  3. Oh My My~ I am laughing so hard~ I Love your thoughts and they brought back so many fond memories of the Many road trips that I have taken with my kids~ Once when we were driving to Colorado from Ashland, we drove through a town called “Lake View”~ There was no lake anywhere within hundreds of miles of the town and there was a Burger Queen and a Dairy King on the main drag~ We all thought that we had entered the Twilight Zone~ Thank you, as Always for your thoughts on things and stuff~ 🙂

    1. lol……..yes….I don’t know why, but the thought of me thinking ‘good hair day’ cracks me up. Thanks for the visit, always great to see you around these parts. 🙂 Sam

      1. I read your posts daily. It has become part of my ritual. I even read them when they pop up in the middle of the work day. Don’t tell my boss. Your voice and your experiences are so compelling to read. Your honesty is sometimes uncomfortable, but even something like having good hair shows how much hope is in you. So the good hair day is both funny and a good sign.

    2. I am honored….and a bit scared…as I sometimes seriously doubt I can think of anything to write…one day my post might be one word: Nothing. lol! But that’s okay, too, I suppose. Your words were very kind and much appreciated. Have a great day. 🙂 Sam

    1. Me, too. Streams of consciousness (in my head) can be so quirky and (to me) interesting. Thanks for reading. I know, bird poop art…I think of that all the time now. lol. 🙂 Hugs, Sam 🙂

  4. funny, and wow do I get you…do I have Asperger’s? Hm, no idea…I hate being boxed into anything, not even a diagnosis:) (is that one of the diagnosising factors?)

    1. LOL about your comment….boxed in…I think most of us dislike that….he he 🙂
      So happy you get me, because you’re super cool, and that makes me a touch of super cool.
      Thanks for the words, Lady Day. A pleasure to read. 🙂 Hugs, Sam

  5. While I have never thought of a truck driver as sexy,
    “I think way too much about way too much, and could probably survive with my sanity intact in solitary confinement because of my vivid imagination and inquisitive thought processes.”
    This I have thought about and do believe.

    1. lol….You never thought as truck drivers as sexy? Maybe because you are a male. lol….he he
      Glad we both could survive solitary confinement! 😉
      Thanks for the visit blog brother. ~ Sam

  6. I loved your epiphany about the beautiful man at the gs with one arm and missing teeth…and feel exactly that way. Looks have never been the “thing” for me either – I think it goes with being tethered a bit to spirit as we say – a good thing, and yes – we need apply these same principles to Self.

    and on this
    “I think way too much about way too much, and could probably survive with my sanity intact in solitary confinement because of my vivid imagination and inquisitive thought processes.”

    Totally know it’s true for me….and one of the ways I have lived in severe pain this long and survived… so not always a negative (would also come in handy if we land in that solitary confinement for whatever reason). Still empty mind is necessary at times… this I know too.

    Great post sea sister Sam! Loved it 🙂 xo

    1. Robyn, that was my absolute favorite part…the one-armed man. Really. It meant a lot to me, even though it might have sounded funny. 🙂 So glad you liked that. So you, me, David, and a couple others will do just fine in solitary confinement…isn’t that comforting. LOL! 😉
      I am so sorry about the severe pain 😦 My heart goes out to you. What a journey we are having. Aren’t we? I am meeting one of my blogging friends in CA on Monday, for the first time. I hope to meet you too, soon!
      Yes, empty my mind, please!
      Love you sea sister. 🙂

      1. How amazing… yes – when you do the Connecticut trip, maybe will be a way to get over here too. Wish I was more mobile 😦 Going 1 mile is an ordeal for me. Yes – loved the part about the one-armed man… totally get it! xo

    1. I love when you laugh, Sir D. That makes me happy to know you are smiling. It seems a few of us find #21 relatable…hopefully we will never find out! hehe
      Got me another Samtastic….can I upgrade from a sub to a Mexican dinner?
      Hugs you 🙂 Sam

  7. Hahaha, Sam! I love the kids singing “God gives us dope!” . We have a friend who had taken a 15 year leave from Sunday church services and decided it was time to go back. She took her 4-year-old son with her and was delighted when he was singing right along with everyone else. She grabbed his arm and quickly escorted him out the closest door when she realized the lyrics he used were probably not from the hymnal- he was belting out at the top of his lungs, “SomnofaBITCH, SomnofaBITCH”!!! She thought he needed a few years off before he went back and tried again!
    Thanks for the funnies!!

  8. LOL…this is a fun read, Sam 🙂 🙂 made me think of those long drives i took…yup…those bird shit are actually “abstract art” on your windshield …<> and also the myriad of bugs that fling themselves into your headlights…<> #13 is pretty interesting…when i first got here from Houston…the first thing i noticed when my Uncle George was driving me around (on my apartment search) town was the big difference between drivers here in WA and TX…huge difference…drivers here are way too courteous 🙂 🙂 it’s a fact!!!! #1 is the best!!!! made me lol…great read, my friend!!!!

    1. he, he…So glad you are laughing!!!! Yes, drivers in WA are soooo very thoughtful….and slow. I like the pace of life in WA though, very much. Love you cutie. Sam 🙂

  9. Hi Sam (If I may be permitted to call you Sam)! I’m a frequent reader of your blog but a first time commenter. I am a young woman with Asperger’s Syndrome myself.

    I’d like to say that I can really relate to the boa constrictor incident (as similarly weird things tend to happen to me) as well as the one about the man at the gas station (as I feel the same way) and the one about solitary confinement (as my mind works the same way).

    I can also relate to the one about the omelet (as I am a vegetarian too). I was once told at a restaurant that a dish was vegetarian, and when I complained because the dish had bacon in it, the waitress told me she thought it was vegetarian because “it only has small pieces of meat in it, and vegetarians only care about big pieces of meat, right?” I wanted to complain to the manager but my grandma wouldn’t let me. I did make them take it back and give me something else.

    I also like your son’s comment about the bird poop, as I have said similar things myself. I once told my father that “grass is nature’s napkin.”

    I can also relate to the song lyrics one, as I once misheard the song lyrics “it’s my own damn fault” in Margaritaville as “it’s my own grandma.” (Don’t ask me how I managed that. I have a rare talent. XD)

    Sorry this post is so long. I’ll try to make my future ones shorter.

    1. Really loved your comment. Hehe…..made me smile big time. Small pieces of meat, okay!!! lol
      So great to hear from you. Yes, call me Sam! So nice to know you are reading and enjoying my quirky sense of humor. Sounds like we have lots in common. Have a wonderful day. 🙂 Sam

  10. I just realized that I forgot to mention I really love and relate to your blog, and I think it’s really funny. Reading it always cheers me up. 🙂 Sorry for not mentioning that in my previous comment; my Aspie mind was not focused on the more social details.

  11. You have had some weird experiences! The boa constrictor? You had to give him your pants?!? I’m sorry but that one had me ROFL!! As for the veggie omelet with beef? I once ordered a tuna sandwich and they served me two slices of bread -no tuna! And I will assure you that I often wonder who decided on the terminator myself- it surely wasn’t me. 🙂

    1. LOL….so glad I could give you a laugh…Yes, I had to wear lost and found sweat pants home and got my Ditto blue pants returned to me the next day with the loops cut!!! LMHO! No tuna….that is too funny!

  12. Sam, i love your list of things. Amazingly, i talked with my mom yesterday about not trying to be so deep all the time. Sometimes we all need an intellectual break from overworking our brain. I really respect that you can embrace all your experiences in life. Love you soul sister. 🙂

    1. Yes, Maya……I know what you mean….our poor overworked brains!!!! So fun just to be and laugh, isn’t it. I am gong to meet Karen ^^above commenter next week in person!!! I hope we can meet someday, too, and have a good laugh. 🙂 Hugs, Sam

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