(There was a previous photo of me going into an outhouse. lol)
I didn’t actually go into the outhouse. It’s like my least favorite place in the world. I prefer bushes. And I don’t poop. I’m a princess, and princesses don’t poop.
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California Golden Poppy by Sam Craft
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This is me thinking I am standing up straight. I have no idea what I look like most of the time. Am I a bendy doll? Now I’m starting to realize why guys might think I want their number.
Between the Poopies and the Poppies
I have a difficult time understanding the middle ground.
I am at one extreme or the other.
I am a prude or I am sexy.
I am trying whole heartedly or I give up.
I am excited or I am bored.
I am starving or I have no appetite.
I hyper extend my body backwards or I hunch forward.
I smile huge or I frown deep.
I have extreme hope or I have extreme sorrow.
I feel joy or I feel agony.
I think I’m cute enough or I believe I’m too ugly to leave the house.
I worry obsessively or I let everything go.
I am overly fatigued or I have extreme energy.
I cling or I walk away.
I smoother another or I want nothing to do with a person.
I overshare or I clam up.
I’m talkative or I want complete silence.
I obsess or I walk away in disinterest.
I am confident or I am insecure.
I like myself or I hate myself.
I’m trying to find that middle ground, somewhere between the poopies and poppies.
Between the crap and the sunshine.
Between the stench and sweetness.
Between the ugly and the beauty.
I just don’t know how to get there.
Everyday Asperger's 
Listen this has giving me one huge laugh… I don’t know if that is the reaction you were expecting… but between the poopies and the poppies… is just too much for me… just the title has me laughing… the smile by the poopies pot… to the stance by the bear… has just given me a grin from ear to ear.. Linda has asked what I’m grinning about and I merely gave her your title today and even she is now grinning just like a Cheshire cat… The photos of the poppies (got to watch my spelling now) lovely… the videos (stuck in the middle with you, my wife and my first dance song) and the words of explanation of your dilemma what a wonderful post… made my day… thank you..
Yay. I like to give you a laugh and a grin. hehe 🙂 Could picture your wife smiling, too. I’m weird…but in a good way..glad you get that. Means a lot. That’s cool that that song was your first dance song! Wow. So glad you enjoyed the post. Makes my day to know you got something from this. Hugs. 🙂
I do that too, Sam. When I stand straight, it feels like I’m putting my breasts on a pedestal. hehe I too, have trouble with middle grounds. Unfortunately, my persuasion tends to lean more to the poopies. For instance, my husband is deploying soon. I live in fear that he won’t come home alive. This has been a nightmare for months, I’ve already begun mourning him (i seriously need help) and everything makes me cry. And yet, as we draw down to the last days, this seems to be waning. He’s about to leave and I feel nothing most of the time. I’m indifferent. I hate being indifferent.
Sending you a hug and will keep good thoughts for you and your family.
Oh….no fun to be on the poopie side of things. Hope the poppies show up soon. I am sorry for your sadness; that’s tough having a loved one be deployed. I understand the nothing feeling, too. My mind zaps into nothingness when I can’t take the ache anymore. Big hugs of support, and thanks for your comment. 🙂
You are so funny! Who else would ever give us a smile by the outhouse?! Well maybe Toots but his nose is hypo sensitive! Middle ground is boring – so not you. You are meant for the definiteness met in the strength of all or nothing! 😉
Glad you think I’m funny! hehe. I loved your comment. It truly warmed my heart. 🙂 Thanks so very much. xoxox
Hi Sam, Regarding the picture, I just thought you were proud of the girls. Well, as you should be. 🙂 I too have no idea how the world sees me because I have a hard time seeing myself. But you know what, I just don’t worry about it so much anymore, as Jimmy Buffett so eloquently put it, “I am who the hell I am!” And for me, part of this life’s journey is learning to accept myself. Since I started reading your blog in February I have seen you come quite a distance in that journey as well. Continue to embrace who the hell you are girl, because I think you are pretty darn wonderful! 🙂
You crack me up. I though of your phrase while I was walking today. “Proud of the Girls.” lol. I’m trying to worry less and less, and stop all the constant analyzing and thinking…..trying being the key word. 🙂 Love Buffett and buffets, too. I need a bit of Buffett in me. Thank you for saying you’ve seen me come a distance…I feel I really have. And thanks for being there. You are making a difference in my journey. Thanks for your sweet words. 🙂 Sam
The best! Loved the photos — your captions and of course your narrative which made me giggle hysterically. You are really not alone in any of this — you are just brave and aware enough to acknowledge it all!! So beautiful inside and out! And I am a huge “hyper-extender” too — Always working to funnel my ribs down… which gives me a flatter belly but takes the sexy curve out of the back. Better for the hips not to extend though 🙂 You are a gem — and btw — your photography is stunning…. look at that bumble- bee! Love to you today Sea Sister of my heart ~ Robyn
🙂 Hi sweet sea sister. How are you doing. I am preparing for school to start and prepping for homeschool for my middle son, so have been off the blogsphere. Look forward to visiting your place, soon. Thank you for saying I’m brave. That is kind. You are always so super sweet. Yep, hyper-extender…that’s me! Isn’t the bee cute? wonderful to see you here. Hugs and love. 🙂
This is great! c: I giggled at some parts, and I could relate.
I can especially agree with the posture part. Luckily, though, gymnastics straightened me out. (Pun intended xD)
Oh, you are a bendy doll, too, then. lol 🙂
I’m so flexible that my gymnastics coaches considered it creepy. Which is saying something, given the fact that gymnastics is revolved around flexibility. xD
I could do the full splits in the air….super bendy me. I was the most flexible in my cheer squad. Could kick my leg over my shoulder. 🙂
love your pun. Lucky you for being straightened out. Not so lucky here! 🙂 Thanks for your comment.
Haha! I’M PUNNY! 😀
And I can do that, too! There was a point when I could oversplit with one foot up on a chair and go ALL the way down. I intend on getting that back one day. c: And I can stretch my shoulders to nearly vertical overhead.
That was a great visual Sam! Your poem made me smile. :))) You do look fab!
During my teens I remember my big sister constantly telling me to keep my ‘headlights’ up and pointed straight ahead! I have someone to blame all those crazy encounters on! lol
My 30 yr old daughter still won’t go near the potties, or many public facilities. When she was a wee one I had to carry a big coffee can (lined with a plastic bag) and a lid in my van, I’ve been sitting on public loos all my life since my disability has always prevented me from hovering over a toilet (or grasping a kid’s hand to pull her into a public toilet). lol I have learned a good trick to keep toilet seat covers (or makeshift ones made from toilet tissue) to stay in place. Before placing the paper cover down, lick it in few places. It sticks like glue until you’re done. 😉
Your posts need to be in a book my friend! 🙂 xx
On second thought.. the ‘interweb’ lol reaches far more people! xx
🙂
I heard “Keep your headlights up” my whole childhood…that’s why I did the opposite! lol. I don’t sit on toilets. I squat. lol. But thanks for the tip. lol. Maybe someday I will do the book thing….waiting to see what God shows me….if I make plans…they usually don’t pan out. hehe. Hugs and love to you sweet lostbythesea. 🙂 Thanks for sharing.
Hey Sam…I love The Soggy Bottom Boys! Ok, I have a thing for George Clooney but still… great post. ps, I like the bee too, but not as much as George. 🙂
🙂 Me, too…love George Clooney…I liked him before he was well know; I think the show was Sisters. Fell in love with those eyes instantly…sigh. Thanks for the visit, strawberryIndigo….I have to play blog catch up soon. Hugs 🙂
The middle is like a broad highway and the poppies and the poopies are the ditch on either side. I am wont, from time to time, to give the wheel a yank and head for the ditch. You meet some interesting folks on the lowsides of the road
Yes…I’ve met some of the deepest and kindest souls on the lowsides. Especially in 12-step meetings many years ago. Thanks for the comment. 🙂
Wish I could help you, but I am not Asperger’s and I have taken decades to figure it out for me.
Scott
I’m good. I have all the help I need from the big guy in the sky. 🙂 But thank you.
Beautiful Post !
Thank you very much 🙂