481: Sit with Me

Photo on 3-3-14 at 1.59 PM

I don’t mean to scare you, but I know I do sometimes. Or maybe I don’t scare you, maybe I cause you concern or frustration. I don’t mean to do that either. I try to stay out of people’s way and just be me. But being me, well, that action tends to get in the way sometimes. Maybe you are numb to me entirely, kind of shut me off like you do the rest of the world; perhaps even more than the rest, because I am a bit different. That’s all okay, perfectly okay. I just wish you could sit with me long enough to see me. However long that might take. An eternity is fine, if you need that. You see I would stay with you that long. That’s the type of person I am: steadfast, loyal, loving. I am endless love. That is why at times I seem giddy and childlike, and I run loops around you, in conversation, in thought, in silly ways in which I move about. I cannot help who I am. In the sense, I cannot help but to be me. I can take measures, certainly, to provide you comfort, and if that means adjusting something in my approach towards you, I am open to listening to suggestions. But at my heart, at the core of my being, I cannot, nor do I wish to, change. I am who I am. And I rather adore myself. I love the way I see the world and accept the world and don’t focus on the pain of people. I focus on the heart. And in this way, everywhere I look is true beauty. That is why I got so very excited when I met you. To me, I had found yet another remarkable heart, another remarkable universe. And yours, my darling, had to have housed the biggest depths of them all. So enchanting, so filled with mystery and multi-dimensions. You see, I could jump into you right away. Straight into the depths of your very soul. I tend to grasp reality this way, by measuring life by the potency of souls. I cannot explain, nor feel the need to explain, but I know I can see you. Way down deep inside, in those places you hide, and in those places you shine. It’s bright in there, and I love you so. I see this and I want to celebrate. I want to shout: Look at you! And sometimes I do. Only it comes out in funny ways that perhaps aren’t so charming, and perhaps seem deliberately askew. Yet, I am trying. I am just trying to find a way to convey to you how much I love you all at once because I recognize your light. Because I know you. Because I see us as one in the same, in sharing so much distinction and awe. I peer inside of you, and I dance there. And here you show me images of before and after, and even of tomorrow. I learn of your heart-trials, of your passion, of your faith, and I learn of your devastating wounds. And I want to heal them, much like the mother to her pup. Only I can’t. There is nothing I can do but watch and take in you in all of your penetrating beauty. And I spin again, into someone you know not. Wanting to pull you into the all that is before me. Wanting you to see how much I love you.

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23 thoughts on “481: Sit with Me

  1. Reblogged this on Rose with Thorns and commented:
    What an amazing post! I wish that I could say this to so many people. Deep down, I long for someone to say the same to me and promise to remain with me no matter what problems that I have or what strange things that I do.

  2. How I wish I could traverse the pages of my past and retrospectively insert this blog as my ‘disclaimer.’ Oh the friendships that might have lasted, the frustration that may have been avoided, the outbursts that might have been met with an embrace, rather than affront. Thank you, once again, for sharing with us from your heart. ❤

  3. Soul sister Sam, there are no words to describe to you how much i needed to read this post. You were apart of my life long before i knew you existed. I have a lot of deep down moments where i understand the different ways people express their love, even if it is restrained or being on the defense, with a dry sense of humor and sarcasm. I have a deep respect for the way you express yourself through writing. And through reading your ups and downs, sideways, front and back days, tipsy turvy, anyways you can imagine, there is always something there to give your readers something to believe in. You are such a beautiful soul and i am honored to know you. Love you always.
    ~Maya

  4. Beautiful! I’ll happily sit with you for Æternitie (yes, I lyke idiosynkratik and arkhaïk spellings that rebelliously defy spelczechs!)

    Unconditional acceptance of who we are deep inside is something I’ve only recently discovered. You’ve helped so much to liberate me from that imprisoning and debilitating state of ignorance. I feel like the Sleeping Beauty being awakened after a hundred years. Yawn…. Wheeeee! (childlike giddy fit in action – Mwuhaha!) Xx

  5. Your friendship has been such a gift, you will never know just how your words have impacted me personally, just wonderful!

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