Day 210: Almost First Kiss

It was low tide and the sun had almost tucked itself beneath the waves of flickering cobalt. After a quick introduction, idle chit-chat and three or four bouts of nervous giggles on my account, a cute dark-eyed boy pointed to me, and said with a wink, “I choose you!”

I leaned in closer to Renny and grabbed hold of her warm hand.  I knew instantly, out of the three boys, I liked this dark-eyed boy the best.  Even as my knees knocked and my mouth grew dry, I was beginning to think that the whole meeting-at-the-beach-in-secrecy-plan wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

I crossed the fingers of my free hand, just as my favorite boy approached and casually brushed his shoulder against mine.

Yes, this would work.

I began dreaming about my first lover’s embrace.  I imagined this boy would want to know everything about me, then perhaps stroll me  home and ask me for a good night kiss.  As my mind played out a romantic episode, more suitable for an after school television special than real life, I heard from a distance my boy say, “First you.”

I looked to my side to find him tilting his head sideways in the direction of the shack on the edge of the concrete pier.  I was processing what he had said, when he spoke again.  “And then her.”  He pointed straight at Renny.

All of the sudden, I wished I had bigger boobs.

I crossed my arms across my chest and then heard the words Oh Crap shouting in my head.  Renny curled into herself with a blushing giggle and the boys appeared to be salivating.  Oh Crap my mind repeated.

Soon the circled boys shouted, “I’m next!”

Okay, so by now I was in a bit of trouble, but before I could think to say anything, my boy gleamed his full set of braces my direction, grabbed hold of my trembling hand and led me swiftly down the concrete pier.  For a fleeting second I believed he loved me.  Right up to the point, that is, when I glanced behind and eyed two boys nodding their heads, barking like sea lions, and flaunting a huge thumb-up.  Right about then my stomach, as well as my hopes, dropped a good ten stories.

The thought of slut crossed my mind, roller-skated back and forth, and then plopped down with its wide butt and sat there.

Out on the edge of the pier, with the sound of the waves crashing, I shook crazily inside the dark shed.  I tried not to breathe too heavily.  And I tried not to move my feet on the tacky floor.  There was just enough light trickling in that I could see the boy’s tinsel-smile.

With the door shut, the boy shuffled forward and set his hands on my shoulders, from there he slid them down my side to my waist.   His scent was that of the beach air: the smell of cypress, suntan lotion, and salt.

This is it

This will be my first kiss

I let out a deep breath and the boy’s hands touched down.

I felt him there, touching my hips, caressing me through the layers. In the next few seconds I forgot all else.

But then, something inside shifted, and my heart started beating so fast I could barely breathe, and I’ll I wanted to do was escape.

I pushed his hands off of me, and without thought yelped an adamant, “STOP!”

On my word, the boy leaped back, almost tripping.

I could see  his eyes narrowing and his left brow arching in question.  And I could visualize my pitiful look as I bit down on my bottom lip and made a sound like a puppy that had been stepped on.

I counted ten hard-heartbeats.  Then the words stumbled out of me, bumping here and there, so my voice sounded uncertain and unnatural.   “I can’t because…” I paused for a split-second.  “I can’t because our…”  I thought as hard as I could, so much that my head hurt, and then I closed my eyes and said, “Because our braces might get stuck together!”

That was all I said.  All I could say.  Because before the last syllable left my lips, I opened my eyes, burst open the shed door, darted up the pier, sprinted past the astonished boys and Renny, and raced the entire two-miles back home.

27 thoughts on “Day 210: Almost First Kiss

    1. I did some editing since you read this. It was an old story…needed some fine-tuning. Renny did not follow….actually she got pregnant at 16. Her name has been changed for this story, of course. She had a hard life. It’s actually a different girl than the Renny in the flea-house I wrote about. I just used the same name. I think she is well now, though. And I hope, happy. I love how you have a heart for children and their safety. Hugs to you. Weird….as I wrote this, I realized I felt guilty all these years for leaving…like I was chicken and stupid to leave…and now I realize I was smart to leave. But not until tonight! Wow….so innocent I was….and seem to still be. sigh…

      1. There’s nothing wrong with being innocent other than that mere fact itself is what leads to the loss of innocence. I feel better now, though, because my life was a sort of similar story to yours.

  1. I think you followed your instincts, or what your heart was genuinely feeling right then, even though it was going against conventional behavior. And you see, nothing is really wrong when you do what your heart says. Something good surely comes out and then there is no place for ‘guilty’!

    Well written story. I enjoyed. 🙂

    1. Yes….you are very wise and right. For so many years I thought I’d made the wrong choice, but now I see I made the choice to honor myself. No place for guilty is right. Thank you for your time and comment. Much appreciated. ~ Sam 🙂

  2. the nuances of youth… it was so long back for me I can’t even remember my first kiss or for that matter who it was with… but I’m sure it was a bumbling misgiving mistake and one that I hope the girl does not remember… I might have ruined her for life…. love the story and the smiles it gave me…

    1. I bet she remembers! Girls don’t forget. lol…..I don’t think you ruined her for life….lol…funny you say that, though. Glad you enjoyed…wasn’t so sure about this one. 🙂 Sam

  3. well…on one of your pages, you say you love meeting quirky people….im one of them! great blog u have here…and what a great place to live, too…Evergreen State! i spent 7 yrs of my life trying to emigrate there from the uk…but no, they wouldnt have me…suppose they preferred illegals than someone pplying thru the proper channels, mayhaps!

  4. “Because our braces might get stuck together!” 🙂 hehe…Oh, how I love who you are my lovely Basna. Glad you found your words and the door out of that horrible shed.
    I just LOVE your bubble blowing photo and the photo of your boy smiling, gorgeous!!!
    Love you so very much. Me. xxx 🙂 ❤

    1. Yep…that’s what I said. I still remember like it was yesterday. I know the boys name, still, too. We went to high school together. I had a crush on him for a year. That’s the real photo of the shed, too. lol. Hugs and love to you fine friend. And banana bread kisses. 🙂

  5. Sitting here on pins and needles reading this, I was very relieved when you ran. Good for you, Sam!

    And please do say hello to the handsome Brandon for me. I think of him each time I read a new post from you.

    1. Oh, great to hear. Wasn’t so sure about this story…..not as well-written as the rest…but I liked the subject matter….actually I had a crush on the subject matter for quite some time. hehehe
      Hope your wife is well.

    1. lol….you think? So obvious now….then…not so much. Hope all is well. Thanks for the comment. I’ll be visiting your blog, soon….playing catch up with my readings. Sam

  6. Not sure how I missed this post till now!!
    What a story…. I’d say you used your keen instincts and made the right call too!! Adorable — I can remember my first kiss now too — was under my next-door-neighbors desk ??!! I was really little

    I so enjoyed your bubble blowing photo ~ Love Bubbles ~~~ xxooo.

    1. I’m glad you found this adorable….that’s how I felt writing it…I know it was “dangerous” and “scary” and all, but it is quite a sweet story and innocent. My husband took the bubble blowing photo at the zoo.
      I was avoiding socializing…lol… hugs and lots of bubbles of love to you. 🙂

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