309: My Wounded One

My wounded one
I see you
I see you there crying alone
I see you with your hands pressed against your fragile skin
Your endless wonderment less chariot than dungeon
Your blizzard mind a target for jagged daggers
Though you are fearful and doubled-down with fear
Though you are strangled, the agony rising and choking dragon from within
I see you
I see you there crying alone
I see you with your heart set out for all, freshly pierced and bleed out upon your sleeve
Your efforts ignored, your desires stifled, your wishes buried with the agony and trembles
Your dreams trampled, your journey unknown, the light dimming and dimming
Though the isolation suffocates and pulls you further inward
Though the ground sinks beneath trapping you in what can only be hell
I see you
I see you there crying alone
I see you, the streaks of your past spread across the room and painted black on each wall
Your moment passed, your joy forgotten, your answers diminished, a sunrise never set
Your sense of isolation churning and twisting, your path unknown in its familiar confusion
Though the images of the future be blurred and joy feels beyond reach
Though the exhaustion breathes alive and misery claims you as chained-companion
I see you
I see you there crying alone
I see you, your swollen eyes, your swollen love, your swollen wants and needs
Your sadness pouring and pounding out in waves, your veins split open and pouring hurt
Your flesh a painful reminder of who you are and who you are not
Though you are crushed and beaten, bombarded by questions and uncertainty
Though abandonment seems certain and slumber your necessary avenue of escape
I see you
I see you there crying alone
I see you my sibling of this strange land, captive to the unknown hauntings
Your strength burdened with heaviness, your view one of bleakness and doom
Your begging a desperation born into being, your emptiness still empty
Though you be an injurious child, nailed to what appears to be destiny
Though you be a fallen star, burned out and spread upon the masses as aged ash
I see you
I see you there crying alone
I see you my precious earth traveler, your shoes worn, your feet bruised
Your image I hold, as I hold the most cherished of nature’s treasures
Your journey I behold, as I behold the purifying waters of a revisited well
Though we be apart, I recognize you as my equal warrior
Though we be separate, I recognize you as my equal healer
For I see you
I see you there crying alone
I see you there calling out in the whispers of your silent ache
Your beauty penetrating the deepest portion of my own existence
Your strength fueling the carved out substance of life that has surrendered
Though you feel blinded, your gift of being grants me the capacity to carry on
Though you feel unworthy, your gift of being grants me the capacity to see my light
I see you
I see you there crying alone
Your heart as my heart, your soul as my soul
Your pain as my pain, your fear as my fear
Though we be temporarily burned within the flame of all consuming mystery
Though we be masked in a disguise of imprisoned misery
I see you
I see you there crying alone

~ Samantha Craft, January 2013

Repost From Day 20. My vision of the Wounded Healer.

The Wounded Healer

“There are many types of healers. They are all brave. No healer is better or lesser than the other. One healer is called The Wounded Healer. Sometimes this may be preferred to as The Wounded Warrior, as they are like warriors, in their undying effort to overcome obstacles and serve. Before coming to this earth Wounded Healers make a soul-contract to answer the calling of a healer. Those that answer the call follow a similar pattern in life; some eventually become healers of great magnitude through various means, others partially complete the process; and still some, as hard as they try to answer the call on this plane, cannot. Still the soul-commitment of a Wounded Healer alone adds to the positive vibration of the earth and heals. And in this way there is always success. A Wounded Healer need do nothing on this planet and still contribute to the healing effect. However, The Wounded Healer that does go on to complete his task will have a huge impact on others’ pain.

Human pain is perceived as physical, emotional, spiritual, mental, and psychological in combination. No pain experienced is singular. Because no pain is singular, Wounded Healers “learn” to understand various levels of pain in their own life. To a great degree, each person on earth has the potential to be a healer. In fact each person in recognizing the light in another human being automatically heals. Thoughts heal. Words heal. But The Wounded Healer varies from many others in that their life’s purpose from birth is to heal. Because of this, there will be distinct markers of a Wounded Healer.

At all times it is beneficial to remember that a Wounded Healer is no greater or lesser than anyone on this plane of existence, and seeing oneself as a Wounded Healer is not meant to elevate or lift a person. In truth a Wounded Healer will feel a great degree of conflict in reading this; not wanting to feel prideful, pleased, or increased in any measure, there will be discomfort in the physical body upon reading these words. For The Wounded Healer’s main objective, above all, is to remain humble in spirit. Without humility, the healing efforts are lessened, not decreased entirely, but depleted with feelings of judgment of self and others. One cannot judge oneself lesser or greater than another, without losing humility. One cannot heal to the greatest degree without humility. Thus, these variants are dependent upon one another; that is to say, give up self to become humble, become humble to heal. Of course, as humans, there is a degree of self-giving and self-worth that is necessary to survive. Therefore, a balance is necessary—that is to say, for The Wounded Healer there needs to be a balance of healing of others and self-love. Though most Wounded Healers, when reaching the fruit of their calling, will be naturally loved and healed through healing others in humility. And therefore, in its greatest capacity, the healing is contradictory in terms of existing as both self-serving and endowed with humility. This is a complicated matter in considering, but no less necessary to explain.

There are five distinct traits of a Wounded Healer. These traits can be used to identify a healer in yourself or others.

(1) Wounded Healers are set on a path of empathy from birth. This is referred to as the “pain-cycle.” Often over-sensitive and naïve in nature, The Wounded Healer will experience pain in all forms before reaching their final role as a Healer of Mankind. This pain will happen throughout many years of their youth, and likely into young adulthood. Some will experience strong degrees of pain for half or more of their life. When this pain-cycle is complete, differs for each healer. When they have experienced the pain intended to experience, the cycle will make a dramatic shift. This will be an obvious shift. Observers will recognize this shift, as will the individual. The shifting of the pain-cycle will feel like a rebirth. This is often predicated by a dramatic change in lifestyle or life choice. This is not to be confused of “hitting bottom” or breaking the cycle of addiction. This is the end result of years of trials and tribulations—one after the other of soul-experience of pain and human-experience of pain, until at last there is a sunrise of a new day. This will literally feel like a “dawning.” There will be no doubt that the pain-cycle has come to an end. Healers will thus still experience pain, pain does not disappear, but the cycle of learning through pain will have ceased to spin.

(2) Often, almost all of the time, the child will experience great trauma in childhood. This will be perceived at one pain-level at minimum, most commonly the psychological-level, but very often the pain comes in combination. Wounded healers choose to experience a childhood of trauma in order to obtain a higher degree of empathy. This trauma (during this current time period) can be seen in all forms of abuse, ridicule, shame, addiction, neglect, malnourishment, poverty and abandonment. In the absence of an outside force produced by others, or in combination, the pain may be self-inflicted, as in perceived ailments of the mind or body. This may take the form of disfigurement, or the inability to be considered by others as “normal.” In later life this pain-cycle may manifest itself in the form of repeated unexplained sickness. These traumas will make a mark on the child. Each mark will serve as a greater good in the years that follow. Each mark indicates a pain that will be released from another being other than the healer. This can be visualized as slashes on the skin. A Wounded Healer carries these slashes that have turned to scars. Each person they heal at a later date will cause a healer’s scar to heal. Thus it follows the more scars a child experiences, the mores pains she is destined to remove from others. But remember, the number of scars is not equated to the number of people. In the process of healing only one person, all of the healer’s scars can vanish. In this way, a Wounded Healer’s soul-purpose may be to heal only one. Whether one or millions are healed is of no difference. Healing one has as much power and magnitude as healing millions. There is no lesser or greater; this is of up most importance to remember. Therefore, a Wounded Healer may complete his contract by healing one or healing many.

(3) All Wounded Healers are called to serve since childhood. It is not uncommon for the child to know before the age of ten what they aspire to be. Whether this vocation transforms rapidly or slowly is dependent upon the pain-cycle the person is to experience. Some will arrive at the vocation at a young age, while other will change jobs many times before answering the call. Still others will slowly transition. All life experience will benefit the Healer’s vocation. In childhood, The Wounded Healer will seek out ways to help others. Oversensitive, they will feel drawn to saving, nursing, rescuing, and easing discomfort. They will notice the wonders of nature that others often overlook. They will cry if a creature is hurt. They will cry if a person is hurt. At one point, in an attempt to survive, they will learn to stop crying as much, and this can cause much inner turmoil. These children will seem wise beyond their years. They will have the strong need to serve the greater good. They will often feel like failures and not good enough. This will be mistaken for low self- esteem. This is not so. These souls have a strong, if not all encompassing need to serve and heal, and when they cannot do so they feel suffocated, inadequate, weak, and not good enough. They might be mistaken by others as depressed, failures, dreamers, or perfectionists. Emotions may be out of control.

4) All wounded healers are empathic and also considered Empathic Healers. The Empathic Healers carry empathic traits, but do not necessarily carry all the traits of a Wounded Healer. The Wounded Healer includes the qualities of an Empathic Healer. However, an Empathic Healer may or may not have the traits of the Wounded Healer, such as: traumatic childhood and pain-cycle. In distinguishing the two, there is no urgency or necessity. But for clarity we point out the difference. Traits of an Empathic Healer include the ability to read the emotional energy field outside of a person. This can or cannot be seen. Usually the energy is felt more than seen. But seeing can be developed with focused practice and attention. Empathics have the ability to pick up on others’ emotional state. They may feel “depleted” in energy around other people, especially in crowds. This is a falsehood to consider the experience a “depletion.” This interpretation implies that there is not enough energy left in the person, and that something has been removed, taken, leaked, or escaped. There is no depletion of energy that is possible. What is happening is the person is taking the others’ energy and reworking the energy so to say, and then returning the energy cleansed to the others. This is like a doctor removing a sample of blood, cleaning the blood, and returning the blood. Only the Empathic Healer is the doctor, the tube holding the blood, and the source of healing. Thus the Empathic Healer is left feeling tired from the process. There is no danger in this except the feeling of exhaustion and the possible susceptibility to taking on another’s pain instead of cleansing the pain. Each Empathic Healer will have to learn how to protect themselves from exhaustion and the transfer of pain. The key is to recognize ultimately there is no pain, and thus, what is really happening is an energy transfer, a giving of one to heal another at a soul-level. This “healing” is complicated, but it is suffice to say the one must recognize the other for the earth to heal, although, even this is very much not the true and ultimate meaning.

5) All wounded healers are repeatedly humbled. This begins in childhood and does not stop for the course of a lifetime. For in order to heal to the greatest degree, as mentioned before, the person must practice and live in humility. Each will do so in various degrees. The greatest healers and shifters of mankind will be the most humble. We need not look far to see who these souls were that existed to transform this world. Not all souls who are Wounded Healers will retreat to the greatest of humility, there will be varying degrees based on culture and the necessity to affect change. How others perceive the healer is still important. Societal rules and regulations, and the status of a person, can all affect the perceived skill of the healer. Therefore, each Healer will have different degrees of humility. Not all seekers will feel comfortable with a half naked man with no teeth. Therefore, Healers are colored in all patterns, and dressed in robes that will attract those needed to fulfill their highest good. This may mean no robe, a tattered robe, a designer robe, or a robe of gold; what matters is not the robe the healer wears but what he houses beneath. A Wounded Healer will heal. This is a matter of practicality. There is no way she cannot.

Wounded since childhood, and sometimes before entering this plane, the soul of The Wounded Healer will seek out help from an early age. They will attempt to remove the pain in many methods. Many of the methods will lead to further humility. Sources such as strict religion, addictive relationships, drugs, alcohol, gambling, overwork, and the like will often accompany the Wounded Healer in his journey through the pain-cycle. Many will seek help through doctors, psychics, energy-healers, therapists, clergy, and counselors, and in this way continue to be humbled. Others may succumb to mental collapse or physical breakdown. Again, they will be stripped to the bare bone. Some will experience great pain through loss and affliction repeatedly, which end results leads to humility. The pain-cycle will continue. When the fruitful time has arrived, The Wounded Healer will break free from the pain-cycle. This is different for each person. If one were to know when the pain would end, this would be no different then knowing the age of death. On knowing the age of death all life is unavoidably lived and experienced differently. Therefore The Wounded Healer has made an agreement to not know when the pain-cycle will end, in order not to affect change or the end result.

Even as the pain-cycle ends, pain remains to a degree. Humility remains, as does the ability to see in others what is in thy own self. Humility then becomes a coat of armor and a friend. A blessed companion we thank the heavens for creating. For in this grand humility we find the comfort of knowing what has come before has served to heal.

In evaluating a Wounded Healer it is best not to use logic but instead to rely on instinct and feeling. A healer of such magnitude, who carries the armor of humility and the pain of many scars, will be notable to you on many levels. First, and foremost, they will carry with them a peace and inner light so that you will have a tendency to feel that you “know” the person or want to know them. You will be attracted to The Wounded Healer and not necessarily know why. This of course is after the completion of the pain-cycle—before this you might actually be propelled away or want to escape. But we speak of the end of the pain-cycle, when the cloak of humility, grace and service is evident. In this time seek you signs of a welcomed presence. This Healer will seem wise beyond his years, will gravitate towards serving others for the sake of healing alone, and will often be serious-minded and unable to easily let go and relax. Overall, in considering The Wounded Healer it is important to remember their coat of humility. For whatever they may say or do, or seem to say or do through your perception, their ultimate goal is healing.” ~ Sam

(No editing was applied to this prose. This all came out in one quick sitting.)

If you be a wounded healer, I recognize you, I see you, I hear you weeping, and I love you. Wishing you love and light and the strength to carry on. With deep compassion and love. ~ Sam

19 thoughts on “309: My Wounded One

  1. You are a wounded healer. You have a gift of words, and you are brave. Thank you for sharing your knowledge fearlessly and for being a friend to me, and many many other people. I hope you get some ‘chillin’ time!!

  2. This post has stayed with me since you wrote Sam, especially No. 4 and the phrase …’What is happening is the person is taking the others’ energy and reworking the energy so to say, and then returning the energy cleansed to the others’ and the rest of that explanation. Never heard a description of healing like this, very insightful and helpful. My husband is a healer, his approach is direct: he disengages himself and allows healing to flow through him, channeling energy so to speak. There is no real sense of it affecting him other than his desire to share it when asked. I thought for a long time this might be what I should try to do. But, it isn’t as easy… or perhaps simple somehow. It is what led me to ask about ‘transmitters and receivers’ once, in group stuff. I see that maybe hubby is a ‘conduit’, without needing the healing ‘to touch the sides’! That would be where I thought he was ‘transmitting’, when really he is only conscious of opening his own… hm, you say ‘faucet’ in the US, tap here in Blighty. Well, he opens something! And the energy flows gently. He asks no response, only wishing the best.

    I realised, then, reading your words, that the other ‘type’ if that is appropriate, is the one who is like a… metaphor is my thing, but getting it right can be complex: like a washing machine?? 😉 Or maybe a compost heap – ah that’s in my realm! Earthworm!! Rather than munching though, the healing is like a reaching out, being available to help through that empathic response, then for protection sake keeping judgement and attachment out of the way as a process takes place. This has been very real for me. I had not heard the process described in modern terms. Have you seen the film ‘The Green Mile’? The healer’s way of transforming the darkness or sickness in another really meant something to me when I saw it years ago, but I could not relate to modern language.

    1. The Green Mile really affected me, and I often have that image in my mind of the darkness and his mouth. I don’t usually remember movies at all, but that movie stuck with me. I truly don’t understand all of the Wounded Healer as I wrote what I heard and was shown. I have trouble understanding how I help and heal others. It seems I take in way too much and haven’t yet learned how to “protect” myself. It is a gift that your husband can not only heal but isn’t affected in a non-beneficial way. I have been practicing tapping into energy and moving it through my body to remove pain. This I can now do frequently but not always. Two of my close friends here, both in there 70s, are Reiki Teachers. But when I tried, I would get images of what the people were going through.. pain, struggles, and then tell them, and it depleted me. I am still searching on “how” to heal. I tend to be able to write and help others and create safe places for people, but I have yet to learn how to stop myself from being depleted. Yet the wounded warrior clearly states no depletion. So I get confused. I know that some healers can never heal themselves. There is an unknown book called the Goat Doctor that I love. He is a healer in CA or was, and he had this tremendous gift wherein people lined up in cars to see him. But he could not heal his own self. I like when you comment, as you always have a great depth of thought and inquiry about you. I think how you describe your husband is much like I visualized it.. It flowing through without affecting… I remember I just saw like tubes or something and the blood being cleansed. Hmmmmm…. well makes for interesting discussion. Much Love ~ M

  3. I guess this could become quite long – and perhaps that’s not appropriate here!!! Hubby is great at the ‘self protection’ stuff, he has a very strong sense of his own identity, separateness from the person he acts as healer to, and disregard for any negative return from the experience. I admit to envy in some sense, though with the idea of ‘transforming’ something through the empathic style, I also am happy that this is how my stuff goes. Maybe I should tell you sometime about our ‘flies’…? But not here, too long!

    Mike has been a healer for nearly 30 years and has this take on Reiki: that simple, natural or ‘spiritual’ healing can be done without any symbolic reference, or need for ritual. With great respect for those that choose to train in Reiki, it attracts rather too much ‘transaction’; in the sense of paying for training and gaining qualifications. People either have a natural ability and desire to heal or they don’t, so the simpler the better, and I tend to agree with that. I hope that sounds right – it takes all sorts obviously! 🙂

    A thought on that empathic style, the transformation and ‘The Green Mile’: asking for the darker or damaged energy to be taken by something, or to ‘go away’ seems to work. It may be as simple as writing something on a bit of paper then setting fire to it – the words are consumed and transformed into gas and ash. This is where the great history of human ritual comes along… Big stuff! 🙂

  4. Totally agree (today) with your husband’s “take.” I do not grasp onto a style, symbol, or set theory for healing. Never was drawn to learn a particular type of healing, but have dabbled in different types. We are all natural healers. Big stuff indeed. I like the dangling use of “file.” Fun to wonder about. 🙂

  5. I fit most of the criteria, but don’t know if I am truly a “wounded warrior”. I heal both mentally and physically through both counseling and Quantum Touch.
    Regardless, good post, Sam,

  6. Okay, now I’m crying.

    I’m in bed feeling so anxious after relapsing last night due to so much change in my life that I can’t deal with. I tried to watch my thoughts and calm down but nothing helped. I’m in meltdown mode more and more often these days…your blog has given me hope. I’ve never felt more validated before in my life. My family refuses to believe anything is wrong with me…probably because I suspect my (engineer) dad has Asperger’s himself. My little sister who I suspect is an Aspie was diagnosed with “sensory processing disorder” as a kid and that was swept under the rug too. I am an attractive girl in my mid-20s and I “pass” in society (to the point where I was at one point a stripper…which I enjoyed because I saw it as a game that helped me pick up social skills) but people have no idea how overwhelming life is for me all the time and what a disaster my life has become because the hard things are easy and the easy things are hard. I study philosophy, theoretical math, and data organization and write tons of words and code I am proud of…but I also am chronically late everywhere because leaving the house takes so long for no reason I can pinpoint and I come off as odd to employers (and everyone) and have sabotaged a couple of job opps.

    All the stress has taken it’s toll and I am very sick and exhausted all the time. I am looking into technologies and philosophies having to do with healing and it’s become a new obsession…it’s funny. Like I live with so much anxiety and guilt and think I am this monster and then it’s only when I analyze the situation rationally that I see that I can’t be because I truly want to make my pain worthwhile and help people who are suffering from the sicknessess that are caused by the modern life.

Thank you for your comments :)

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