Day 74: Fitting In

No makeup. Hair needs to be brushed. Oh, crap, I haven't even brushed my teeth yet. This is like camping all over again! Thank you Grandma for my clear skin. Thank you Dad for my Italian nose. Thank you hands for pulling back all my wrinkles!
If you click on this photo, you will see a messy study. A sign of genius. I can't even stop rambling about a photo. May the Gods help me! Everyday Aspergers -- Samantha

“Life is a pair of skinny jeans and you are a big fat ass. That’s it. It’s uncomfortable being a human being.” ~ Tom Papa (comedian)

I wanted the title to be: Fitting In. You are Weird and a Big Fat Ass, but I thought people might take it the wrong way.

The more I’m sharing about myself, my quirks, my outlooks, my geek posse, my fears, my memories, my embarrassing moments, even my empathic experiences, I’m realizing I am not an alien after all! In fact, I’m thinking some of you might be aliens.

A dimmer switch for Sir Brain would be nice. Sometimes herbs and exhaustion help to dim the thoughts. Wine helps, and the ingredients in certain brownies that I will never try again. One word: Paranoia. I actually visited all the layers of hell—anyone smiling knows what I mean. I could digress on this subject and make you laugh hysterically. Major chocolate craving coming on…

Anyhows…(I meant to put an S there for effect. But now that I’ve explained this the effect is gone. But I didn’t want anyone to think I couldn’t spell anyhow and pass judgment. Because I live in constant fear of people finding flaws and errors in my ways and passing judgment.)

Anyhow…It’s sure nice to know I’m not alone. Sure nice to know everyone is messed up (I mean that in a good way). Nice to know, too, that most of you have all the same thoughts and weirdness I do, but you have the ability to keep most clammed up and shut away inside. Which, I guess, has its drawbacks, too. At least I’ll never explode because I held too much back. I’m not a slow ticking time bomb (despite what my mother-in-law once wrote about me).

I am like a garden hose set on slow drip—the perfect companion to a thirsty dog or playful child in the heat of the summer days.

Writing this off the top of my head. Let’s see what comes out. Drip, drip, drip…

We are All Weird

We are all weird

We are all trying to fit in

We aren’t happy all the time

We’ll never be happy all the time

That’s an illusion

We worry

We fear

We dream, sometimes big

We wish and wish and wish

We copy and imitate in hopes of being accepted

We try to figure others out

Try even harder to figure our own self out

We cry at sad movies

We laugh at dumb jokes

We light up a room

And can bring about feelings of gloom

We are powerful, magical, mysterious

And filled with a gentle charm

Our esteem is worthy

Even though we may not know

Our life has purpose

Even as we search

We are so remarkably fantastically beautiful

A reflection of beauty

One to the other

I’m so happy to know you

Each and everyone

So happy to stand in your light

Breathe in your energy

Breathe out your kindness

There is no better blessing

Than knowing you are not alone

That there is always a hand, a smile, a knowing wink

I giggle at our quirks

I celebrate our uniqueness

But I dwell and live fullest in our connection

The connection we share in seeing one in the other

Okay. This is a little beyond PG-rated, but as you’re my friend, and all, I just have to say, if you search online videos for “fitting in” there seems to be a lot of bike fitting, horse saddle fitting, golf club fitting, clothing fitting, fake male “private parts” fitting. Oops. I hope I didn’t just steer someone in the wrong direction! Don’t want you to obsess about the fit of your saddle.

Serious and Uplifting. He makes a lot of good videos.