When my physical body is nurtured through love and balanced eating, I remain in an air of light and floating love all day. It is the most wonderful natural high imaginable. When I walk on this air of light and love, I sometimes awake at three in the morning and experience a rainbow of rapid images and messages. I sense this is a download from spirit.
Last night’s lesson and vision was about LOVE.
We are coming into a time where we need not fear the spoken word love. A time where we can readily and rapidly send light and love to anyone and anything. We have the capacity within to embrace the world with love.
Today, I am overwhelmed with love. There are times I feel an automatic connection to a person. This, to me, can be confusing, and feel a bit overwhelming. Especially if I recognize inside at a very deep and profound level that I’ve known this person for what feels to be an eternity.
I want to shout out: I know you! I’ve seen you in my dreams! I’ve been waiting for you! I understand you! Let me walk at your side!
I now understand my Aspie-ness stems from LOVE and a profound desire to want to connect. I long to reach my roots down and expand through the moist soil. I want to spring my branches forth in all direction. I want to be shade and joy—the wooden swing for the child, the lookout for the soul. In having this love inside, I sometimes burst. I cannot stop this. This bubble of love is beyond me. In seeing my spirit in this light of love, I understand now why I clung to others. Regardless of their shape, size or status, I clung because I am drawn to light. I see the light in them, and I want to be there, in the light with them.
In the past, I was hurt, because I clung on in hopes of returned love. I hoped in giving love to be filled with love. If love was not returned to me in the same way—the same capacity—I thought something was wrong with me. If people did not respond to my love like I wanted, I became confused and hurt.
lightworkers.org/blog/
Now I understand clearly the key is giving out love without expecting or longing for anything in return.
Last night I was filled with inner-love, bathed in light. Now in return I pour out love to others without expectation. I learned that in releasing the control of love, my love multiplies a thousand times more.
I learned that with society today, love is sometimes a frightening word. Something to be owned or rationed. As if love had boundaries and limitations. Love is limitless. Because of fear, and fear alone, people carry love, but don’t speak of love. Fear is the bars of love.
Imagine a man standing with a ball and catching glove. The ball is love in essence, in purest form. The man is clutching the ball in his glove. He does not want to give the essence away until he knows many things. He does not want to toss the ball until he questions: Where is this ball going? Who will receive it? Who will benefit? Will I benefit? Is this okay? Am I wrong? In what form is this essence? In what form will it be received? Will the essence be returned as I wish? Will the essence not be returned? Will the essence be understood? Do I have enough to give away? Will I be left lacking? Should I throw my ball? Should I wait?
And the inner-dialogue, the clutching of essence continues. The ball is clutched so tightly into the glove that the man does not have open glove to receive. Until he throws his ball, his glove remains cave-in, shrunken, and unattainable.
This is the image I saw:
I saw a person with a glove. But there was not one glove. There were infinite gloves. The gloves were open wide and surrounding every facet of the person’s aura. This person was continually sending balls (love essence) into the universal field. The gloves were each made of clear crystal. The crystal gloves were open, so they could each receive abundance of love. Yet, because they were crystal, they only absorbed the light, everything else not of light and love was repelled off of them and dissipated into the universe. I then saw my being, my aura, my light, surrounded in thousands of crystal gloves, one after the other, shielding me.
Today I detach from fear.
Today I visualize pure love.
I send love without motive or questioning.
I keep my gloves open.
I openly receive the universal love and openly dissipate all that is not of love and light into healing form.
I shine with crystals surrounding me.
I resonate in high vibration.
I am energized.
The more I release love, the more love returns.
It is only when my glove is clutched closed that I am unable to receive.
I choose to remain open in a perpetual motion of releasing essence and accepting essence.
I need never close my glove to catch and receive.
Nothing is caught.
To catch implies to trap.
To catch in a glove implies to cut out light.
Everything is absorbed.
The essence is absorbed straight through the center of my glove.
The crystal protects me.
The love feeds me.
Yesterday, through the help of a friend, I became aware that my deep capacity to LOVE is a gift. My gift is from source. When feeling some fear yesterday over the intense love I feel for people at moments, my friend explained to me that this intensity is because I have this gift. I recognize that my love is not something I need to hide in the darkness of a closed glove. My love is glorious.
I saw in my vision that the key to healing is mankind learning to love unconditionally. I saw that so many carry closed gloves and fear LOVE. This is a dichotomy in the greatest sense. This is confusion and the grandest of illusion. LOVE is never fear. LOVE is never wrong.
Love cannot hurt. Only the shards of broken illusions hurt.
Love is less pure when motive is attached and expectations, but even then LOVE is LOVE. Love is the only element that cannot transform. The only element that grows the more love is transmitted. Love is in everyone waiting to be transmitted. We only need open our gloves.
Part of what has been labeled and perceived as Aspergers, is largely a HUGE capacity to love. I understand there is never any fault or wrong in loving a person. I was put here at this exact moment to love. When I share my love, I am in element. When I do not, I suffer. When my gloves are closed tightly, I cannot experience the beneficial love. Today I remain with my gloves open. Today, and in all ways.
I invite you to open your glove.
This is for those of YOU who recognize someone in this lifetime that you KNOW you have loved for a thousand years. (AlienHippy) : )))
I’m crying, listening to the song This Time by August Rain, (below), over and over.
Since I was a little girl, in answer to prayer, I was told I was going to be experiencing a lot of trials in life but this would be in preparation to assist others. In February this angelic promise became reality. And I knew that all the pains I held were for a reason. There is no way to put this into words, only tears. If you could see my face, you would know. My eyes would tell you. Today is day 100 of my journey blogging. I have made friends and contacts around the world. Everyone has been supportive and kind. Everyone so beautiful. You have no idea what your presence means to me. I am healing with every set of eyes that hears my truth. Healing knowing, I’m at last walking in my calling. Walking in unity. I am no longer watching life from the sidelines.
This morning, as I wept, I spent some time in reflection, examining Your words. (Traits, 10 Traits, and 116 Reasons) I am gifting myself with feeling happy and celebrating…I am embracing my gift of my words and embracing the gift of your words. Here is a selection of what I am celebrating:
Your website is a huge comfort to me.
Can relate to most of it so well. It’s as if you had been spying on me from inside my mind!
Thank you for expressing words that I have not been able to and for helping me put words to things I have experienced, but didn’t know how to say.
I can’t get over how dead-on each aspect of this is. I feel printing it and handing out to every person in my life.
(Crying harder now!)
Wow. You have totally nailed this as far as my teenage aspie daughter..This was wonderful! I just laughed and laughed in self-recognition.
Oh my goodness. I can relate to so many of these, it’s as if everything is finally slotting into place…I’m just seeing the world through completely new eyes now.
This is amazing! You have written the most precise description of female aspies I have ever read (and I have read quite a lot about this!
I can find myself in all of your points, especially points 5,6 and 7. It’s almost scary how close your description fits me!
So many years spent lost and alone.
Oh. My. Goodness. When I read this it feels like you have had a secret camera filming me since the moment of my birth. Scary.
Thank you so much for this post. I’m going to use to help my partner and family get a better idea of “me”..I knew of a lot of them threw my daughters way of looking at the world,brought a big smile to my face,cant wait to show her
I thought I was alone in not being able to relate to what I look like!!!
Reading your post today was a confirmation for me that once again “I am not crazy” and neither are the rest of us.
So true…. Every damn word…. Beautifully written, thank you for this. I will share this with everyone who just doesn’t understand me.
This did help me understand more about my 27 year old daughter with aspergers.
This is pure brilliance…my daughters world makes so much more sense after reading this.
What you wrote was insightful. I always knew I was different.
I wanted you to know that finding and reading your blog and sharing the information with my husband has made my transition from misdiagnosed, hard to deal with, “crazy” person to a person who is actually like other people with explainable quirks and issues much, much easier!! And even though you are practically telling my life story her, I’m starting my own blog to shout out!
Wow, this describes my 11 yr old Aspie daughter perfectly, and I am grateful I can print this to show her.OMG!! I could almost go yea, uh huh, that’s me too! to every one of your items! Scary! I’m glad I’m not completely alone in this world!
All I can say is…. * * * * * wow * * * * * I feel sure that I’ve found the missing component of so much of who I am, who I’ve been, and what has greatly affected the at times harrowing journey I’ve taken…Today I don’t feel alone at all. Today I feel embraced.
Anyway the piece you wrote is brilliant I love it and so identify, I often feel isolated and alone and not accepted and I’m always looking for people I can connect with and who understand.
All of the moments when I felt as if only me and the person in my head understood life, became so much clearer.
I was crying by the time I got to number 4…This blog is the most spot on description of life as I know it that I have read so far.
There isn’t one single thing, not one, that you wrote that i can say “no, that’s not me”. It is ALL me, all of it. and it’s terrifying and a huge relief at the same time.
After reading your blog, I became totally obsessed with the possibility that I may be Asperger. I spent the entire day reading your posts, comments from readers, and googled other blogs on this subject. Then I chewed my husband’s ears off asking “so do you think?”
And when I finished reading your post above, it felt like finding a key I’ve looked 33 years for. Your post is almost verbatim my experience…I’m astonished.
And when I finished reading your post above, it felt like finding a key I’ve looked 33 years for. Your post is almost verbatim my experience.
This is me me me me me all over! Spooky how you seem to know my head inside out.
I think because of you I have finally discovered what has been so different about me my whole life. Thank you so much for giving me what might be my answer, I have no words to express the gratitude I have in my heart!
This article so closely describes my life that it made me cry – somebody out there really understands what it is like to be me, and I am not the only one of my kind.
I have been cleansing my body through beneficial nutrients. I have been cleansing my mind through beneficial thoughts. Today, like a tree, I spread my roots into the universe and offer you these gifts of thought. May you be blessed with serenity and a gentle lullaby of peace. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. You are good enough. You are enough.
* When I start to feel pressured, I realize I am the one putting expectations on myself by focusing my energy on the future, reflecting on the past, or judging a person or event. Today I release the feeling of pressure, and gently fall back into the bliss of serenity.
* Trust your gut feeling. Believe you are the barometer of truth. In regards to advice, direction, and strategy, listen twice to your inner being before listening once to another.
* In the entire world there is but one you. You are as unique as the water crystals, each line on your skin an intricate and delicate marker of the beauty you are.
* I once again understand these words I write are only words, only my temporary truth. Ever changing, these words are no less permanent than the tide of the ocean. I sweep forth treasures of shells and seaweed, and the occasional sneaker escaped from the sea. However, nothing is a truth, only a finger pointing to a possible avenue for a possible someone to find his or her own truth.
* Do not question when you will be tall enough to provide adequate shelter, adequate goodness. You are merely a tree set down to grow. Focus on nothing more than the growing, and in this you need not focus either. Because, as a tree grows, with proper nourishment and adequate environment, as shall you grow.
* Nothing is misunderstood, everything is miss-understood—simply missed as you stood under the essence and were not yet ready to grasp the concept.
* I remember today and always that words have a soul, and that we beings are each connected in our thoughts, words and actions.
* I am remembering to evaluate my choices when I feel off balance. I ask myself what is an area I can increase, what is an area I can decrease? I visualize the choices in my life on two scales. If one side is too heavy, I remove part of it. If one is too light, I add a portion. In this way I return to a state of equilibrium.
* I cycle through great grief, anger, forgiveness and acceptance. Through these four seasons I rediscover the unique messages of my soul.
* My mistakes on this journey are equally as worthy as my perceived triumphs. For in my falling, I am made to rise higher in a new found empathy and self-knowledge. Today I embrace my mistakes as much as I embrace my successes.
* Some mornings before I awake I hear a gentle whisper. Once I was told that the path to healing is the opposite of a short cut. The opposite of a short cut is a long mend. Life is a long mending of our emotional, physical, spiritual and mental wounds—the needle and thread is unconditional love, unbounded truth, dedicated service and unyielding compassion.
* When we give without expecting anything but love and healing in return, the universe gives back.
* I pray for a time when we each shine in our own uniqueness and authenticity. When the idleness of conforming has transformed to an active celebration of the masses’ manifestation of love, peace and service.
* In learning to greet the morning alarm with positive affirmations, I am training myself to think positive thoughts upon awakening. “Good morning Beautiful day. Today will be filled with splendor, awe and healing,” is more beneficial than “Stupid alarm!”
* In knowing our essence, we see clearly our true purpose. In renewed clarity of our authentic self, we are freed from victimhood. In this release from fear of injury or loss from circumstance, agency or condition, we are able to focus attention on healing service and the creation of harmony.
* As a human being it is my birthright to flounder, to question, to have moments of sadness and anger, to be fragile, to be vulnerable. In examining the facets of my being, I perceive no weakness, only the limitless ability to connect to others in my authenticity.
* To live fully, I fully forgive everything and everyone. I view each new day as an opportunity to forgive, to forgive self, others and circumstances. By participating in a continual process of forgiving, freedom manifests. No longer hidden behind a barricade of judgment, in forgiveness, I arise a beautiful songbird surrounded in a crystal sky of compassion and love.
* To see through the eyes of a child if only for a moment, to dwell in wonderment and awe, to realize this world is a gift, this I wish for today.
* Today I recognize infinite happiness resides within me. I embrace this sacred space and joyous light within and gently release the responsibility I have placed on objects, people and circumstance to bring inner contentment. I stand in compassion of all that passes before me, allowing the joy found in the concrete to linger momentarily, before blowing the essence softly forward like the seeds of a dandelion.
* Each day is another opportunity to choose to partake in the process of discernment. In using discernment, instead of judgment, I stay on equal ground with all. In judging I automatically give up energy and view myself as lesser or greater. In observing, while gently releasing judgment, I remain energized, at peace and available to serve.
* The message I have been told since childhood is to serve and to love. The message I have been told since my young adulthood is to give without need of recognition or monetary gain. Only in giving unconditionally can I honor my true intention of love and service. Only in giving unconditionally without expectation can I be the most effective teacher and student.
* Tomorrow as I wake up, before I recognize where I am, who I am, and whom I am with, I shall recognize the awakening of a glorious and love-filled day.
* I Imagine a book of instructions for the globe, where each day has a deed: one day I help an elderly person, one day I offer a stranger an envelope with money, another I clean a neighbor’s home, and then on some days, together across the globe, at the exact same moment as other lights, I focus on the thought of love and peace…..I Imagine.
* I was reminded this morning that we are each like the flowers, in that we grow to our greatest potential when we are planted in fertile soil, have pure water, and are surrounded in the clean air and sunshine. Today so many are searching. In nature we can find the answers.
* In accepting my mind’s limitations, I choose to stand equal, unchanged in perceived controversy and chaos, for I know not what I see, not what I judge, except through the shattered scope of my narrow viewing.
* There are but two ways to walk in this world, as a blind man in search of safety or as a wise man in search of truth.
* To many honoring the soul’s quest require guidelines, e.g., authenticity, discernment, giving, and loving; though, in honoring our true intentions, there is an innate ever-changing removal of requirements. Thus there are no rules, guidelines, or examples, except what each individual person creates. Above all be true to thyself, thy own beliefs, thy own calling—there are no answers except within.
* In relationships where members strive to be authentic, accept the inevitable differences between them, and express thoughts, feelings and needs, a light of truth shines the way to self-growth, inner wisdom, and confidence.
* I have an infinite capacity to serve others. Whether through a positive thought, helpful word or silent prayer, I serve. And as I give, I grow in clarity of mind and energy of spirit. In this way of mindfully serving, I refuel my entire being. So exists an endless cycle of giving and receiving that need only be powered by the intention of goodwill.
Quotes collected from the roots of Samantha Craft’s thoughts. Spread your roots.
I love you. Thank you for partaking in my journey and helping me to heal and blossom. “I’ll stop the world and melt with you. You’ve seen the difference, and it’s getting better all the time. There’s nothing you and I won’t do. I’ll stop the world and melt with you…the future is open wide.” ~ Modern English
My husband took this photo and the other. He is gifted that way.
I was with a crowd of people the day I lost my butt. I searched everywhere for my butt. In desperate need of a butt, I clasped my two hands over a stranger’s butt, imitated pulling off her butt, and then I tried to fit her butt onto my butt. But her butt wouldn’t stay on me. When the stranger asked, “How does my butt fit?” I responded, “Too small.” And with a frown, I sighed, shrugged my shoulders, hung my head low, and gave her back her butt.
As I walked in embarrassment without at butt, I covered the place my butt had been with my hands. Sometimes I slid across the floor to hide my missing butt or I squatted down and walked low to the ground. When I sat, I placed my hands beneath me on the chair to protect the skin where my butt had been. Other times I sat on my knees.
Off and on for an hour, I searched for my butt. One time I asked the crowd, “Have you seen my butt?”
I looked under my chair for my butt. I looked in corners and underneath people’s legs for my butt. Later, in desperation, I found a microphone, and again asked, “Has anyone seen my butt?”
No one had seen my butt.
After we left the crowd, and returned home, for weeks my three sons, and sometimes my husband, would peer from around the corner, at random intervals, and ask, “Where’s your butt?” One day my family gathered together on the couch to view the recording of the day I lost my butt.
It didn’t matter where I went in our home. I could be sitting on the toilet, climbing the stairs, or cooking dinner, and someone in our house would ask, “Where’s your butt?”
I will always remember the day I lost my butt.
My butt is back now. My butt actually never disappeared. I only thought my butt had vanished. In reality I’d been hypnotized on stage to believe my butt was stolen.
I believe at times we all think we’ve lost our butts, or at least we believe we’ve lost a portion of ourselves. Many of us think an essential part of us is missing or lacking. We believe we aren’t worthy, aren’t enough, aren’t special, and aren’t lovable; when in actuality we came into the world fully equipped with everything we need. Our butts are firmly attached.
Nothing is missing and nothing has been taken away. We are worthy, we are enough, we are special, we are lovable, but we forget. When we think we are lacking that is like our mind tricking us into think we have no butt. When we think we are lacking, we walk the world like our butts are missing. We hang our heads low, we hide, we search, we ask, we fear and worry.
We trick ourselves. We hypnotize ourselves into thinking we are lacking when everything is right there where it is supposed to be. All we have to do is to reach down and grab our gifts. They are right there waiting.
So the next time you find yourself lacking, remember the story of the lady who lost her butt. Think of her standing on stage, speaking into a microphone and asking, “Has anyone seen my butt?” That is exactly what you are doing when you are searching for your worthiness.
Don’t ever think you’ve lost your butt.
Your worthiness is firmly attached to you.
Now get out there and shake your booty!
The answer for yesterday’s post was number 9. Number 9 was the fiction.
Number 9 was a little bit true. The object was a tampon that flew across the cafeteria and hit someone in the head, but I ducked, covered, and ran before anyone knew I was the culprit. No one picked it up and handed it to me.
Don’t feel bad, my husband guessed the wrong one.
For those that guessed number 7, you were close. I could have worded that fact more clearly. I did review 100 men, but I reviewed the recordings they left, then I called a couple dozen back. So, if you guessed that number, you get a free pass.
Everything else was true. Including Patty Hearst and the swimsuit model. Thanks for participating. I had a great time reading your lists.
Everyday Asperger's 
