Something to brighten your day by Bright Eyes
I used to be afraid you’d only see a part of me, a piece, a section, a part I didn’t want you to see.
I used to think if I didn’t show all my parts as best as possible, all the time, then you might come at the wrong time, see the wrong parts. Not like what you see. Not want what you see.
I used to think my heart is so full I need to gush everything out all at once right now, or you will not understand, you will not realize, you will not get me.
I used to think that if you did not understand me, you could not love me, if you did not find all the treasures within me, you would not cherish me. I used to think I had to do it all, all the time, for you to care.
I used to think I was separated, divided, all these pieces, all these parts, and if one part failed, I failed, if one part was not perfection, I was not perfection. And how could you, as such perfection, love a flawed me.
I used to think I was different from you; that although I viewed you, absorbed you, siphoned you out as one tremendous and fantastic whole, that I was still parts.
I used to think in time I could win you over, with enough effort I could earn your love.
I used to think if I didn’t earn your love, I would die.
I used to think love was to be earned.
I used to think I had to show you. I had to prove to you everyday I was special, I was worthy, I was beauty. If you could not see me, I could not exist.
I used to think I was parts.
Now I know I am whole. Now I know I am beautiful. Now I know no matter what anyone else sees, my best is always there. In the bright of my eyes, in the bright of my soul. I shine. Without parts, I shine just fine.