Day 196: In the Bright of my Eyes

| Aspergers Girls

Something to brighten your day by Bright Eyes

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I used to be afraid you’d only see a part of me, a piece, a section, a part I didn’t want you to see.

I used to think if I didn’t show all my parts as best as possible, all the time, then you might come at the wrong time, see the wrong parts. Not like what you see. Not want what you see.

I used to think my heart is so full I need to gush everything out all at once right now, or you will not understand, you will not realize, you will not get me.

I used to think that if you did not understand me, you could not love me, if you did not find all the treasures within me, you would not cherish me. I used to think I had to do it all, all the time, for you to care.

I used to think I was separated, divided, all these pieces, all these parts, and if one part failed, I failed, if one part was not perfection, I was not perfection. And how could you, as such perfection, love a flawed me.

I used to think I was different from you; that although I viewed you, absorbed you, siphoned you out as one tremendous and fantastic whole, that I was still parts.

I used to think in time I could win you over, with enough effort I could earn your love.

I used to think if I didn’t earn your love, I would die.

I used to think love was to be earned.

I used to think I had to show you. I had to prove to you everyday I was special, I was worthy, I was beauty. If you could not see me, I could not exist.

I used to think I was parts.

Now I know I am whole. Now I know I am beautiful. Now I know no matter what anyone else sees, my best is always there. In the bright of my eyes, in the bright of my soul. I shine. Without parts, I shine just fine.

26 thoughts on “Day 196: In the Bright of my Eyes”

  1. You are so full of innocence! I love that first photo of you – to me, that is really you!! Beautiful photos and – hey – I think I get it. But the power of your presence is always there. xoxo

    Reply

  2. So many good feelings are stirred by today’s Blog! The most powerful of which is Acceptance, of ourselves, and others.

    The majestic tree unveils it’s boughs one tiny leaf at a time. We can learn so much from Mother Nature. She sees and loves every cell of our being, as it springs into life. :))

    Love and Light.. xx

    Reply

  5. My Internet is down 😦 I’m on the i phone and can’t see all the pics… But love your written expression so much! Will come back to savor the photos later… keep shining that beautiful soul of yours all day long! Xo R

    Reply

    1. I am back — internet too! You got so some wonderful shots with very nice lighting in the woods here! Also — great “Sam” shots!! That first one you are shining – maybe need to use it for your avitar 🙂 You NEVER should have earn love — this I have learned… so glad you too ~ Love to you sea-sister … I’m a wreck here – but you will get find my next post very amusing so stay tuned for more smiles 🙂 xo

      Reply

      1. Glad you liked the photos 🙂 Never earn love….yep! I know this now. Didn’t know before….still have to remind myself, sometimes. Love to you sweet sea sister. 🙂 hugs to you.

  9. You DO shine, Sam and your inherent *Light* is a beacon and warm glow for all of us to bask in, to feel comfort within and it so naturally reflects our own divine and whole~some goodness~ Blessed to be even a speck of dust in your radiant rays~ 🙂

    Reply

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