Day 141: Living to my Desire

Rose Tears

I am but a rose

Set upon your place

Of non-existence

Of non-reality

Only an image, a ghostly apparition

Made up and invented

I am thornless

Or I am piercing

I am red

Or I am blue

Whispered sweetness

Or casual nonsense

Truth

Or lies

They live if you speak so

I am nothing

I am everything

And you swim in me

All at once

Whether I exist or not

Matters not

Only where you put me

This invisible drifting light

Manifested from your mind’s breath

by Sam

This morning I had a very healing chat with a sweet friend over tea at a local coffee house. She brought me a lovelyΒ bouquet from her house, and a red bandana to wipe my tears.

I am an abundance of wavering emotions. In the center is this deep gratitude for having the capacity to connect to beautiful beings of light, and to see my beauty reflected in their souls. I traveled a long road to get where I now stand, capable of seeing my own worth, and in turn, to see the intense magnificence of others’ spirits.

The experience of seeing another as pure light and radiating love is nothing short of a miracle. Everyone seems to have come alive, much like the perineal flower bursting anew after long winter’s snow. With everyone I touch, with each person that touches me, I am finding these beautiful mirrors of beauty, a thousand times a thousand opportunities to embrace the radiance within both myself and another. Along with this journey, comes this continual overwhelming of emotions.

I am much a splintered dam with waters rushing through. I know not what to expect or what to make of what is happening in my reality. But I know enough to stop the mind’s wonderings and questions. I know enough that in speaking my truth, that in honoring my authentic self, authentic needs and desires, that I have opened up to a world of rich opportunity, love, and grand joy. And with the joy, equal sorrow. I continue to swim and swim in my walk, as if above the ground below, and dog-paddling forward in an energy of purity.

I do not long to impress, convince, prove, or pretend.

Pretending was the first robe I shed.

Convincing another or longing to prove my point of view, that garment came off next.

And the third to disappear, the yearning to impress.

I no longer long for approval.

I am enough.

And I know this readily because you are enough.

The tears keep coming, the soldiers and troops from eons ago that gathered by the river preparing to march onward but never heard the bugle’s call. They come now, at my spirit’s beckoning, leading me onward, lifting me up beyond where I’d been.

I see more now. Perhaps because my true eyes are at last open.

And I trust more now.

I trust the unpredictability of the universe, the absence of knowing, the inability to plan, to expect, to will.

I have found the freedom in releasing.

I have finally understood the concept of “letting go,” in understanding nothing and no one is or ever will be mine.

I trust in the guiding light, whatever form one imagines this source or lack of source to be.

I just entirely trust.

The continued signs, continued recognitions and awakenings, remind me I am moving.

Not up or down, backwards or forward—but moving just the same. Β I only need to be. No more. No less.

I am living to my desire.

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18 thoughts on “Day 141: Living to my Desire

    1. Didn’t notice the spelling mistake, to busy reading and connecting to your beautiful heart.
      But now listening to the extra songs you have added. Thank you. πŸ˜‰
      Love you loads. Lees. xxx πŸ™‚ ❀

  1. “Convincing another or longing to prove my point of view” – wish I could join you my friend, but the profession does not allow me to do so. πŸ˜‰ Also, IEP comes to mind…

    Loved the poem and that you have freedom. I hope to get there someday. xo

    1. Oh, yes, with your job, that would be a challenge. πŸ™‚ I’ve managed to release a lot of what used to tie me down energetically related to my son’s IEP and services. I have let go of the attachment I had to his schooling, etc. But I held on tight for many, many years. Different stage for me, as my son is now 13.

      You already are there, in many ways, just different, as your path is for you, that’s all. Hugs to you, Sam

  2. So many wonderful things I want to copy/paste and comment on. Your words radiate healing, and happiness, blistering joy and pain, filling me with calmness today. Thank you for a lovely post and beautiful poetry. πŸ™‚

    Love beams bouncing off my mirror to yours and pinging all around to everyone else who will join in the love beam fest! Hee hee

  3. The enlightenment you describe here is one that most people never achieve in an entire lifetime. Such perception from such a young person! You have a wise old soul, Sam. πŸ™‚

    1. That is very kind of you to say. “Old Soul”…..yes, I know of that phrase well. Seems I know a lot of them, myself. These travelers of the world who carry huge awareness. Lots have special birds as pets. πŸ™‚ Sam

  4. you are so in tune with the energy of the world…i feel honored to witness our personal transformation:)))) and wow…youre an amazing writer

  5. Oh Sam… I am in awe of your spirit, and enriched just to be a tiny part of your journey. I had a similar ‘awakening’ of spirit about 5 years ago, while i was working with a ‘guru’ (energy healer soul)… who helped guide me . Yes — you are enough – no need to justify, explain, or impress. Trust in your higher self – and love YOU! The rest just unfolds with ease and grace. Your poem is so beautiful, and your writing appears to be Divinely inspired… Keep flowing Sam — xo

    1. Just saw this comment. πŸ™‚ Oh, I am so happy you went through something similar 5 years ago. I have worked with energy healers over the past 1.5 years. Actually worked as one myself for a short while. Thanks for your sweet words. πŸ™‚ Hugs from the Sister of the Sea, Sam πŸ™‚

  6. You have always had so much beauty,wisdom,poetry,songs,stories and now that you have unlocked,rather broken the locks..the world is mesmerised by what they see….

    “where was she
    did she come today
    where was all this hidden till now
    all these gems she writes every day
    she weeps
    she laughs
    she sings
    she walks
    and with every breath she takes
    she is a grows
    she glows
    and she spreads love

    love ya πŸ™‚

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