Day 204: F*** the Dark Voice

F*** the Dark Voice

I’m sick of your taunting, as if you are right, as if you even know

You are slime, like at the bottom of my fish tank, only more fouler, like the smell of the runs

You linger there, in your toilet bowl of scummy mess and await me like the monster Grendel

I do not like you, not one bit, and would hate you, if you were even hate-able

But you’re not, not worth the hate

I wouldn’t decorate you with the compliment

You foul creature I despise

If I could pick you apart, I would start at your heart, or where your heart should be

But you only have a shadowed center, a phantom form, something I cannot touch

That no one can reach

You hide in not existing

You hide in not being there

But yet you taunt louder than a thousand soldiers stomping across enemies’ graves

You don’t even know me

But I think you do

You can’t even see me

But I think you can

You are such a mystery, that if I could admire the maggots crawling out of my rotting dog’s flesh, then I’d admire you

In the way I look at fungus on the skin, or in the way I feel my heart skip a beat

I would admire you with fear and disgust

And that is what you wish

That is what you ingest

Complete fear and disgust

You long for me to take my own self apart, piece by piece

To fear my own body, my own form

Because you are jealous in your non-existence

If you could extinguish me, you can then live

But I laugh at you, you creeping ghost of dark

For I am light, and I shall burn you to a crisp

Take you out before your spindly tentacles reach me

And I shall shine upon your evil breath

The way the scope of knowledge shines against the tainted rulers of masses

And we together shall rise and wash you out

No matter you are invisible and dark

No matter you are unreachable

We shall find you in our souls and bleed you out

And feed you to the tigers of fish

So they can nibble upon you and fertilize the world with your drought

Be gone great master of trickery and ghastly thoughts

Be gone all of your ways that torment this being

For I am no longer alone

And my light multiplied shall corrupt your plans

And leave you helpless, spineless and begging for mercy

And then, in our light, we will scoop you up

Babe in arms, and examine your sweetness, your words, your outcry

And find ourselves staring back with the tender longing for love

~~~~

Samantha Craft, August 2012

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29 thoughts on “Day 204: F*** the Dark Voice

  1. You already know that I TOTALLY LOVE this!!!!
    Smiling at you, keep being you and keep kicking negativity right in the arse.
    So proud of you my lovely Basna.
    My favourite lines that made me smile are…..

    You are slime, like at the bottom of my fish tank, only more fouler, like the smell of the runs

    You linger there, in your toilet bowl of scummy mess and await me like the monster Grendel

    Love you so very much, keep shining. Who you are heps so many.
    Me. xxx {{{hugs}}} ❤ 🙂

    1. Goofy…like I care about spelling errors. hehe. Thanks for being the first to read and comment. You know my heart, and understand me, and I will never be able to thank you enough for that, dear friend. 🙂 Sam

  2. What I would give to have words of expression as clearly as yours…I feel your heart my friend,and you seem ot have an understanding of where mine lives.

    The DC

    1. I think this is where many of our hearts live at various moments. Not alone, ever. Your voice is uniquely yours and meant to touch others that recognize your voice. Life is an ongoing process…..moving through the dark, and facing it, gives us that much more capacity to love and shine. Wishing you tons of courage and strength. Sam 🙂

  3. It is the worst, when we feel alone. We never are, not really. I now know that God is always there; He never leaves my side. And, I have come to know and to love my close friends; they are there, too.
    Wonderful writing (well, it’s hard to say “wonderful” to the subject matter, but I think you know what I mean – powerful and meaningful). No grade this time, just praise.
    Scott – BB

  4. That was such a cathartic masterpiece Sam!!! I could see, taste and SMELL the stench of pain.. and then it’s SWEET release…. We are born into this world so fragile and must work so diligently throughout our lives to balance the brave warrior with the babe in arms.. Your words are a great reminder of that. Bravo.. loving hugs …xx K

    1. Cathartic! YES…..that is how it felt. I was so tired of the dark voice, I just confronted it head on and scared the shi* out of it! LOL. So glad you “get” my poetry, and the heart of the message.
      Hugs to you lostbythesea…..let’s go to Maui and get lost. xoxox

  5. i know I don’t comment on here much….but, wow…I just skimmed through today’s post….and can so relate….
    Just a few hours ago, “the dark voice” was in my head….and, overcame me…and sent me into a massive meltdown. The worst in a very, very long time. My wife truly thought I was going to hit her.

    I had another massive meltdown on Monday morning…while away on my business trip.

    That just isn’t me. I need and want help. But, don’t know what to do.

    1. Hi Ron. Great to see you here. 🙂 I know exactly what you mean. I am finding that by facing the voice head on (for me through writing and sharing in our support group) that the power is taking away. I really thought some eye rash would melt my face away. Really??!!!! Sometimes it helps to say it aloud, and realize the thoughts are entirely false. For me, community and talking helps. We all have to find our own way of stopping the voice. It helps that you shared with me, so much. As we are not alone, and I need to remind myself of this often. Hugs to you fine friend. stomp on that voice…. 🙂 Sam

  6. hi at first not sure what you meant but i cn really relate mybthoughts in ,my head can be quite e evil but find them difficult control people can not see what is in my head but your kind of thoughts help that we are not alone

  7. Amazing post Sam… I’m blown away — especially since this came after your ‘physical pain’ post – and for me the 2 (physical and emotional) are so interrelated… because of the physical stuff I have really had to face my demons… as you so exquisitely did in this piece. The heart of it for me is here: “And my light multiplied shall corrupt your plans” ~ WOW – is all I can say – because this my dear are words of wisdom to live by. I wish all our planet could HEAR you there…. Splendid expression – ((applauding)) xxooo 😉 Robyn

    1. physical and emotional are way related in my world…..I’ve had to face those demons, too, because of the physical. Chronic pain is a unique experience. In many ways I do believe the pain has carved me into a more empathetic, patient, and loving person. But I’m good now…ready to have no more!!! As I am sure you are. Thank you for your sweet words and quoting me…hehehe Love the word splendid, and can picture you clapping. This poem helped me to process a lot. I now how what I think to be allergic pink eye caused by late summer mold…..don’t you love how I can readily determine my own ailments…..lol…I’m such a geek!!! Hugs to you and wishing you less and less and less pain. xoxoxo Sea Sis ~ Sam

  8. Way to kick it! Love your strength!

    PS- I did see you are “technically” on Pinterest but not really. I was like that for the longest time but once I started seeing how the pins worked and started using some of the information there, I couldn’t stop. Maybe someday, you’ll come over. xo

  9. Now that was a subtle begining lol
    you just kicked negativity so hard..its howling can be heard all the way here across continents…
    red assed ngative vibes and people hiding their black aura underground

    yeah babes…keep them coming 🙂

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