293: Backwards Appeal

good hair dayhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVGYssHra2c

Yesterday I wore this fabulous red sweater.

I was feeling very confident, as I was having a good hair day, and my husband had saturated me with compliments, at least twenty since I awoke.

And after a hot sauna meditation and hot soak in dead sea salts, I was literally glowing.

With my cheeks rosy and love of self content, I set out to do errands. Time to redeem a gift certificate, a rebate check, and buy some food staples.

At my third stop, at the grocery store, as I was pushing my half-full cart down the snack aisle,  I felt an itchy sensation at the nape of my neck. I reached down, and found the sweater tag. My cheeks blossomed into a full crimson then.

And all at once a rush of fear came over me, as I realized my sweater was on backwards!

 I, quickly, without calling too much attention to myself, turned my cart around and made my way to the back of the store. Retreating into the bathroom, I had a good look at my sweater in the mirror. I gasped, while trying to laugh. But no laughter came.

The way the sweater was set, the back stitching in the front of me, I looked like I had two torpedoes jetting out.

Before, while dressing at home, I’d merely thought the way the sweater set against my chest was just the way the sweater was made, and that I ought not to have fretted about the design. I needed to get over my fears, and wear clothes without insecurity. Who cares if the cut of the sweater accented what was naturally a part of me? I had thought to myself.

 But now that I could tell for certain the sweater was on backwards, I thought for sure, people would have noticed, and been laughing, not only at my backwardsness, but at my pointy boobs.

Inside the store bathroom, still contemplating my silliness, I twisted the sweater around; only to find, that my under blouse, a little sleeveless black thing, was on inside out!

At this point I looked down at my boots, convinced I’d probably placed them on the wrong feet.

I know it doesn’t matter in the end. People at the crowded Big-Box Store probably didn’t notice, and if they did they got a good laugh. And I’m all right with giving others a good laugh. But I can’t help but think about those two older men who stopped me in my tracks in the grocery store, prior to my discovery; how they played dodge with my shopping cart, like we were two familiars partaking in a friendly game: “Try to get passed me with your cart!” Can’t help but think how ridiculous I must have looked with my front side all pointy and pronounced and all, as they tried to engage me in conversation and keep me from moving: me and my signature red chest.

It’s just plain crazy-making, the way I cannot dress my own body. Likely an after shock of having never liked or played with Barbie Dolls. I should have taken note, or at least practiced.

I still haven’t learned to stop praying for humility and release of pride. Seems I cannot go anywhere without being reminded of my unyielding humanness.

Here’s to red torpedo ladies, and all things fashionable.

May you, if and when you wear your clothes backwards, accentuate the positive.

It’s on backwards in this photo…heheheh Before I knew

good hair day

But You…

You are a flower that I cannot release

You stretch and root, your scent carried into the vein of me

I am your vase, your soil, your moisture, your sky

But you do not know me

I hold you day upon day, carry you where I go, smile at your beauty

I watch in admiration, as you unfold, as bud becomes bloom

You move where I move, bend where I bend, all the time unaware

Because you do not see me

Your vessel completes me, the fullness of you saturates

Your sweetness carries my every step closer to the heart of you

I reach to touch frail softness, nature’s perfection

But you cannot feel me

I turn to you in the darkness, cradling you at my side

I blanket you in the coldness, devouring the fire for your warmth

I comfort you in the rain, soothe to extinguish my own wants

But you cannot detect me

You scream in silence, and I am beckoned

I scream aloud, and you are lost

Together we collide, without ever joining

But you do not understand

I am your gardener, your life-giver, your equal, your maiden

You are my knight, my king, my answer, my calling

We are one in the meadow, rising together

But you do not recognize me

You sleep as if I am silence

You wake as if I am phantom

You speak as if I am death

And I remain flower wilted at your door

~ Samantha Craft 2012

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15 thoughts on “293: Backwards Appeal

  1. Love the Nora Jones songs. I love her voice and she is beautiful. Those go nice together. 🙂
    The post was excellent; however, it did make me wonder if I should start wearing my pants backwards…
    Scott

  2. I also love the Nora Jones song! OMG, you started a new trend, Sam 😉 backwards is best. It’s the way I live most of the time 🙂 You do look nice in red, it goes with your dark hair. Now I want to run out and get a new sweater!!!! Keep that smile on your face 🙂 love and hugs, Autumn

  3. Oh I do this all the time! Its always the times when you feel most confident, and then it’s all blasted away on discovery!

    Also, I had my mp3 player on random, and just as I loaded this, Norah Jones came on it! I hope this is a sign of good things 🙂

  4. I put clothes, especially, shirts on backwards or inside out all the time. If I am out in public I will not think twice about turning my shirt around wherever I am the second I realize it. I am so bad that if I cannot stand the clothes I am wearing I will take them off in my car. I normally have extra clothes in my car at all times just in case the clothes I am wearing become uncomfortable.

    I have always done this (and the not being able to put my clothes on right thing) for some reason I accepted that as one of my quirks. I wish I could accept all of them with such ease. So the next time it happens, if it does, just imagine me in the aisle laughing and giggling turning my shirt around right along with you! 🙂

    Nora Jones AWESOME!

    Your poetic words beautiful and priceless!

    Love and bubbles and bubbly light to you!

    1. I will imagine you doing the same next time. lol. Thanks for your comment. Your words always bring a smile to my heart. 🙂 Nora Jones is fabulous. I didn’t like the part she played in that new Ted movie though… that whole movie was a bit odd. Thanks for the sweet note on my poem…. figure you can likely relate. bubbles and more bubbles to you sweet Angel. 🙂

  5. I spent the first twenty years of my life putting everything on backwards, inside out and back to front. I have just spent the last twenty years checking, double checking, triple checking, changing thirty times in a row in a bid to look the part and feel fashionable. I was happier in the first twenty!!
    Red is a great colour on you. 🙂

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