433: Five Ways

marcelle in lightFive Ways

1. I recognize that I am okay in who I am and where I am. I recognize I am okay in where I am going. That everything is unfolding as it should. There is no rush. There is no destination. Only now. This moment. This breath. I breathe in the essence of the world. Taking in the ingredients of millions of breathers before me. I am one with the universe and the world is safe.

2. I recognize I am changing every moment. Each thought, each stimulation, each person, each encounter, affects me at a molecular and spiritual level. I am no longer who I am within a second that passes. Beyond change, I am nothing. I am that which transforms and rejuvenates. The entirety of me working together to live and breathe. I am enough in that I am like the all. Interconnected in my being. I exist. And in my existence, I strive. Not for goal or need; yet simply as an intricate and important part of the whole. I am completely renewed each moment I am.

3. I allow myself to experience emotions. As the observer, I step back and watch. I move in recognition. I speak in recognition. I think in recognition. But I do not attempt to control, counter, or interrupt. I allow myself to be as the river, flowing in a natural state along the stream of consciousness. I remove all judgment and unchain the bondage of should, could, and what if. I release the pain and suffering, and breathe in the constant joy. In my silence, I rejuvenate. In my stillness, I grow. In my grief, I embrace opportunity. No emotion is punished. And likewise, I am not chastised for simply being. I am aware. I am continuing to prosper in awareness and recognition. The rest is unnecessary. In awareness all avenues are opened, all veins of love moving at full capacity. I am all that I am and nothing less or more. Nothing is in need of repair or evaluation. All that I am is already enough.

4. I allow myself to feel attached. I am attached to substances, to dreams, to places, to goals. I am attached to others’ evaluations, opinions, emotions, and energy. I am attached to beliefs and perceptions. I am part of the whole, and in being so, I am part of everything. I am attached, yet I do not need to cling to the attachment. In recognizing the attachment, I can watch, as I move in the motion of need and want. I can watch as I cling, and watch as I attempt to let go. I can see myself in tears, in struggle, and in the illusion of triumph. I can glimpse the happiness attached to substance and the sorrow attached to absence. I let the joy move past the now and into eternity. I am neither an empty vessel nor a net that traps. I can hold nothing, as I am already over-filled with love. Everything I am is plenitude and freedom. There is nothing outside of my own understanding of self that can satisfy me. Everything and everyone is fleeting. All that I need is already within. The light of me is serenity, peace, and gratitude. The light of me is complete love.

5. I release fear. Emotions are a part of my being. All emotions are okay. Fear is okay. Fear is my teacher and at times a protector. Fear reminds me of who I am and where I have been. Fear instructs me of the inner workings of my mind. There is a mutual relationship between what I feel as fear and what my body communicates to the whole. Each part of me responds to anxiety and discomfort. Sometimes I sit in pain. Sometimes I rise out of pain. In everything there is release. I am like the seasons, the tides, and the nature of the living world. I bloom and I wither. It is natural and expected. When fear comes I approach him without caution or dread. When fear comes I answer his calling. I welcome his company. I let him move through me, to penetrate my being, to whisper to the rest of what he seeks. And then, in union we release. Together, hand-in-hand, we walk out of the shadow. In the darkness I have learned, and in the light we are formed as one. My friend. My darling companion. In loving him. In loving all in completion, all turns to light.

432: The Unwanted

sam in sun

Hairline tainted with curly white-grey wires
Seagull poop unleashed

This isn’t anything beautiful or fantastic
Or so it’s told
A babe to some
An old hen to the lot
Substantiated indoctrination

Shifting form
Impossible to sort
Sagginess found amongst the previous un-saggable 
Swallowed in marshmallow
Zig-zagging sinkholes

Face etched
As dune-buggy trails
Stamped in mosaic sponge-prints
Tinged in weathered-tan
Eyes, expressive sorrow
Subdued and wiped out

Strung up in unfamiliarity
An accordion without the potentiality for tune
Ears of gorging fleshiness 
Uninvited mole sprouts
Mouth, pursed in cavernous echoes
Semi-circles of broken radio waves

Ancient stained gloves
Bulging rivers
Rough, un-smoothable, un-delightful
The body twisted in remarkable: Ouch!
The legs—something in between marked and disrupted
Unloved art
Blue prints dipped in unadorned mayhem

The toes, a sideways march
Trapped in gravity’s game
Crooked plump hooks of uncertainty
The sum of parts
Equally fallen

Expiration date pounding
The youth in denial, gained
Burdened by way of birth
Preached the inevitable
In deterioration

In awe
Touched by the ways of preachers
Blinded to thy own spectacular glow
Inched away from the truth
Set beyond
The endless beauty

Alive, proclaim
Vanquished from the entrapment of reward
Based love

Away with worldly ways
The wish
Blowing as the dandelion seed
Pierced into the unfounded ground
Of the unwanted