Day 122: Stoned Heart

Sam Craft
“Stoned Heart”

Stoned Heart

Watching the world go by

Wasting the day away

Dizzy Smile

Vibrant colors

Doped in desire

Completely saturated

Altered perception

Can’t think straight

Under his influence

Intoxicated in thought

Munching madness

Laughing in euphoria

High as a gull

Ease of mind

Turns paranoia

The horrors

The frights

Hashed

No going back

Panicked

Plunder to earth

Lost

Trapped in a circle

Racing impulses

Incapable of acting

Of doing

Bloodshot

Pelted with ponderings

Battered and worn

Baked by angst

Fried of hope

Sauced in sin

Plastered to regret

Persecuted by passion

Mob of madness

Tied to a punishing post

Stones thrown

Multiple blows

Pelted in pain

Slow and torturous

Knocked out

Executed

Skull caved in

Rises

The walking dead

Tripping with dread

Stumbling Dizzy

No longer self

Erased

Bleached

Whited out

Disoriented

Wasted woes

Hung over in time

Endless loop

Blank stare

Watching the world go by

Sam Craft Maui 2012
“The Stoned Dead”
Sam Craft
2012
“The Stone Threshold”

Day 121: Violet in the Morning

(Teacher says: Music I posted in comment section is a must to play while reading.)
 This is Violet in the Morning. My little Labradoodle. I also call her Spastic Colon, but I thought the title Spastic Colon in the Morning might give you the wrong idea.  I am carrying her in my arms in this photo. That is my scarf. And, yes, those are her very sad eyes. This is my first time taking a camera on a walk since I moved to Washington. Violet was initially very excited to walk. She showed me this by jumping up and down about three feet off the ground and wrestling with her leash. But once we were outside the front door, she didn’t seem too happy. She was tugging, and pulling, and shivering. I thought she must be cold and said, “You’re a dog. Toughen up!” And I giggled. Because giggling in the morning is fun.
This is my tree. I call him Fred or Sheldon. I can’t decide. He doesn’t care, because trees will go by any name, as long as you hug them. 
When I passed this tree Violet was still shaking. A few blocks later and she was pulling back on her leash. Being the logical gal I am, I thought to myself, “Hmmmm. Maybe she senses danger. Like a mountain lion or wild leash-free dog.” I was still a bit clueless and exaggerating events in my mind.
About the time I reached this stump, I leaned down and soothed Violet with gentle pats, and reassured her she had a fur coat to keep her warm and that there was no pending danger.
This crow was watching us outside the lama barn. We kept walking, Violet shivering and tugging, and me clicking away happily.
Flowers by my home
 Early Morning Mist. Can’t beat this calming scene.
 One of my favorite properties. They have outdoor weddings here sometimes.
About the time I captured these ducks flying overhead, and was thinking I wish I had an audio recorder to capture all the bird sounds, I realized poor Violet wasn’t cold or scared. In fact, she was having a doggy seizure! This wasn’t her first. So I scooped her up and held her. And I continued the walk with her in my arms.
I have a friend who I promised to carry in my thoughts today. So as I carried my doggy, I imagined I was carrying the person’s burdens. This worked for quite sometime.
This scene caught my eye. The two friends, the dog being held, but then I noticed the broken leg. Made me wonder a bit about things.
Me wondering about life.
 Fake seagull in ivy
 Neighbor’s yard
 
 Fish atop a mailbox
 Hidden School Bus
Old Bus Stop

 Here comes the sun
 
I had to keep setting Violet down because my neck and back were aching something terrible. She was sweet. Just sat there and smiled up at me.
Interestingly, this was the least violent seizure she has had.
Here are photos of my favorite part of the walk. To me, this is one of the loveliest places in the whole world. I carried Violet most of the way. First down the hill and then back up, sometimes in a cradled position and sometimes like a baby slung over my shoulder. She shivered. But with every step I took with her, she calmed more down. I kept my friend in my mind.  It was a very enlightening experience. Especially considering my sensory issues of having dog breath in my face and my physical issues of having difficulty lifting things. I was quite happy and pleased with the way the walk turned out. I reflected on the way life is—how we never know what to expect—and that sometimes it is best to just make the best of things. And so we walked on.
Do you see that little blue light? I like that very much.
 Green, green, green!
 Love this
 What a lovely tree
 Pure Bliss
 Looking up and smiling
 My favorite road
 A little red
 More of my favorite road
 And then comes the water
 Just heavenly
 More lovely nature
See how small the people are and how tall the trees are?
Swings! Lisa, do you see the swings?
Violet felt better after I carried her for about forty-five minutes.
And I leave you with my favorite trees. I call them the Humping Trees. Can you see why? I love when nature makes me giggle.

Day 118: We Breathe One


We Breathe One

Everywhere I look I see your beauty

We combine to make perfect wholeness

You reach up to the highest of sky

I stretch my arms round to shelter

You dig down

Deep rooted in thirst

And anchor the ground beneath where I stand

We breathe

One

For the other

We dance intwined

In your being

I live

Wherever I walk

I find you still

Where the birds gather and nectar drips

I long to be

I climb

I sit

I watch from the highest of shelves

Transformed into eternity

With the complexity of simplicity

Of just knowing

All is growing

All is standing

All is bending

As directed

By the beating of nature’s heart

Without

I shall parish

With

I shall cherish

Until the end times

When ash meets ground

And I sleep beneath your shadowed lullaby

Samantha Craft May 22, 2012

Images taken in Maui by Samantha Craft. May 2012

I see a finger pointing to truth, here.

Day 111: Slumbered Dreams


Slumbered Dreams

I cling

I squeeze

I overwhelm

I terrify

Then I release

Then I crawl back in careful steps: hand, foot, hand, foot, touching ground

My knees scrape against the asphalt, searing

Stings like porcupine sticks

I hadn’t meant to, had only longed to

Play and dance, and play and dance, and be in the light of newness and good

But I danced alone in shadowed mixed with nothing more than me and me

I reached out to my own hands, my own heart, spotted illusion intermingled with desperation

Seeking partnership in the unlikely and unaware

Garden delights in speckled weeds, and yet I pluck the roots as if to save

When naught remains to harvest

Little sand crab burrowed deep, bubbles of breath in ocean remnants

Blobs of sand on shore of wet

I’d not meant to travel far in child’s land

But venture called, his hands clapping my return

Couldn’t help my legs from skipping, my beating soles against threads of bones

Forgotten long ago in graveyard gone

To find again the voice that whispered

When as youth I touched the stream of wishing tales

To immerse again in droplets of riverbed’s babes

To sink beneath surface and seek not once, but forevermore the serenity of connection

Traveler, yes, wearied, no

For I shall leap until the sun sleeps, the morrow bursts, and justice slips between the seams

For nothing remains untouchable in slumbered dreams

By Sam Craft May 16, 2012

 

“The worst feeling isn’t being lonely. It’s being forgotten by someone you could never forget.” ~ author unknown  

Day 86: I Am Tree

These last four days have been life changing. The combination of the new medicine and diet for my health condition, the sunshine, and the companionship of a dear friend have pulled me out of a two month-long period of deep depression. I know now the depression was more than situational. Besides an uncomfortable experience at the university I’d been attending and the death of our beloved family dog, I discovered earlier this week that my vitamin D levels are extremely low, my iron levels still below normal, and my protein levels very low too! Throwing in my new hypothyroid diagnosis, and considering any one of the before mentioned conditions can cause exhaustion, I’m surprised I could even get off of the couch.

As I am emerging from the dark tunnel of fatigue and depression, I am celebrating internally—my spirit soaring and applauding. I am applauding a renewed energy. I am applauding my strength, endurance, and patience. And I am applauding my experience.

No matter the degree of challenge, I understand the past weeks have made me stronger in spirit.

I continue to be hopeful my health will improve. Yet, I am releasing control to my higher power.

Today, through the help of my friend, I created the mantra: I am tree.

I am a tree. And in being a tree I need not worry what will land on me, break me, climb me, peck me, burrow into me, or even cut me down. I only need to be a tree and nothing more. And I am perfect in my treeness—perfect in my being. Like a tree I will not fret and will not fight against the unknown. I will be. I will live. And I will grow.

I recognize I have slipped back into old patterns, or what I call my old mold. Just as the physical body sometimes retreats back to an old set weight, the spiritual body can retreat back to a set way of living. For me this old way of living includes a fear-based mentality and many moments of over-thinking. I am visualizing a new mold that benefits my spirit.

I recognize I have been attracting to my life much of what I have been fretting about. I recognize that by focusing on beneficial thoughts, I in turn will benefit, as will those around me.  I knew this before, but today I see my journey from a new vantage point.

In the coming days my hope is to continue practices of self-care and self-love, as I release control and let the seasons of my spirit unfold without struggle. I am tree. I will be. I will live. I will grow.