communication

Day Twenty-Six: Patch Freak Makes Life Change!

| Aspergers Girls

 

I’m going to attempt to use humor to explain a major life altering decision.

I’m back.

Bet you didn’t know I was gone.

I totally (California born and raised) slipped out of focus and got sidetracked for an hour’s time about the origin of the word humor. Why? Because I used the word humor in a sentence, Silly. And that led Brain away, like a string of yarn does for a kitten. This morning Brain’s string began at etymology: the origin or development of a word, affix, phrase, etc., and the string ended with black bile. Yucko-mania!

If Brain hadn’t allowed for a detour into Reasoning Forest, and instead he/she had left me in the moment, I fear I would be profusely apologizing for the spattering of snot and tears all over the computer screen. Yes, remarkably indeed, Brain returned me to an emotional state of equilibrium, with one quick, and rather boring, sidetrack.

And I have good news. When Brain examined the root origin of humor, which included words like phlegm, LV (little voice in my head) found us a new patch for our sash! Our lovely patch Melancholic is one of the four temperaments, the others being: Sanguine, Choleric, and Phlegmatic.

 

It is black in color, the Melancholic patch, and now firmly sewn on to LV’s slash, amongst her numerous other merit badges of distinction. She tore off the high-maintenance patch to make room for the new one. The patch of Melancholic represents the following traits: sensitive, intuitive, self-conscious, easily embarrassed, easily hurt, introspective, sentimental, moody, likes to be alone, empathetic, artistic, fussy and perfectionistic, deep, prone to depression, avarice, and gluttony!

Sidetrack: (Brain left again, but only for a brief stretch. He/She had to know the origin of origin. Call him/her crazy. I do. At first I was afraid that there was no origin of origin. Fear gripped, an anguish surfacing from the depths of Grendel’s mire: What if there is no origin of origin? Don’t panic. Luckily there is. The original meaning of origin is to rise, become visible, or from beginning source. I can live with that. I just wish the online etymology dictionary had the real origin of the universe. Which by definition would be the beginning source of the universe. Sadly, the definition only reads:  the cosmos, whole, and turned into one. No real origin there.)

The Melancholic patch is an improvement over some of the qualities listed on the other temperament patches, such as: hedonism (which is an ugly word to begin with), impetuous, prone to hypocrisy, and prone to sloth. Prone to sloth, makes me giggle. To learn more you can click here

I think from now on, when I’m in an Aspie funk, unable to make a decision, on overload, and/or plain overwhelmed with my brain, I will say: “I am prone to sloth, presently exhibiting attributes of the phlegmatic temperament.” Just warning you ahead of time.

Concerning the brief mentioning of my life altering decision, I was a daredevil speed racer in my mind for three hours straight last night, between the convenient hours of 11:00 pm and 2:00 am. Riding a cranked-up dirt bike up and around turn tunnels and across perilous ramps. LV had a lot of processing to do. And when I woke up, I endured two more hours. I did not know it was humanly possible to pour gallons of tears out of my tear ducts; but then again LV is sporting that hip new Melancholic patch.

The good news is the tears have cleared and hope has set in. There’s a seedling sprouting at this very moment at the belly of my spirit and stretching to the open sky.

What happened? You query, so sympathetically, (or not). Well…I took a whirl at taking care of Brain, LV, and Me, and got the Heck Out of Dodge! (Brain notes: Get the hell out of Dodge is in reference to Dodge City, Kansas, a favored location for westerns in the mid 20th century. Most notably, the saying was made infamous by the TV series Gunsmoke). And that’s the only reason my husband tolerates me–because I’m full of…interesting facts!

Sorry, about that. Suspense building. Drum roll. Shying away. Just going to splash it out in one big wave:

I got the Heck out of the University that I was attending for my Masters Degree in Counseling.

Kaput! We Gone!

There are a few distinct patches I’d like to stick on that subject, but I won’t.

For now, I’ll let Brain be, and LV rest, and Me, Little Sweet Me, I think I’ll treat her to an overdue retreat. Pardon me now, as I venture into my Phlegmatic Zone, and contemplate how to proceed through the glory of a new opened door.

Oh, Crap. Brain wants to explore truckers’ lingo! And LV is shouting, “Yes!”   The Gods truly must be crazy. I like the words: Gator Guts, Seat Cover, and Suds and Muds…you know you’re curious. Click  Truckers’ Slang Words or check out the video below:

Below You Can Read: All About the Origin of Humor, By Sir Brain  

 

Humor is Latin in origin and first meant liquid. The word represented moisture, especially the moisture of fluid of animal bodies, such as lymph.

Around 460 B.C. Hippocrates noticed that blood removed from the body separated into four parts: clear red, yellowish liquid that rises to the surface, dark liquid that settles at the bottom, and a whitish liquid. He and his students developed a theory based on Hipporcrates’ observations. Later the theory was expounded upon. Theorists believed mental health was a matter of a good balance of the four liquids (humors). The word humor eventually became connected with someone’s temporary state of mind. Humor’s meaning of amusement did not occur until the 1600’s.

The theory of bodily humors holds that each person produces four humors but that a preponderance of one relative to the others brings on sickness.  Fluid was thought to be part of the makeup of the body, and temperament, (meaning mixture), was determined by the proportions of four fluids (humors): blood, phlegm, bile, and black bile.

A predominance of blood, associated with the liver, equates to an optimistic and sanguine (confident) temperament. Sanguine is rooted in the original definition of ruddy or blood red face.

A predominance of yellow bile, associated with the spleen, equates to being choleric (short-tempered). Too much yellow bile and one viewed the world through a bilious eye. Choleric is rooted in the Greek khole, meaning bile.

A predominance of black bile, associated with the gall bladder, equate to a melancholic (pensively sad) temperament. From the Greek melas (black) and khole bile. Melancholia means too much black bile.

A predominance of Phlegm, associated with the lungs and brain, equates to being phlegmatic (slow and unexcitable).

Any imbalance of these humors made a person unwell and perhaps eccentric. Through the passing of time humor took on the meaning of oddness.

Fasting is thought to bring humors into balance. Humorism postulates that each person is born with a basic temperament.

You can find more information about the origin of humor here: In MY BRAIN!

 

Day Seventeen: You Rock, Aspergers Girls

| Aspergers Girls

It’s 7:00 a.m. and I’m wide awake, even though the chickadees (my kiddos) don’t have to go to school today—which means no hustle and bustle dance this morning. I love the night before school holidays or the weekends. As my head hits the pillow, I let out a huge sigh of relief, knowing I will have no restrictions first thing in the morning. But, I have to be very careful (and I mean very), because without a schedule, I tend to turn into a dog, or more liken to a cat, and I develop this keen ability to lounge around the house all day. Oh, I still stretch, and move from one piece of furniture to the other, eat some kibbles and lap up some water, and even partake in minimal grooming. And when I’m in my true element, I try to look all cute and cuddly, in hopes of acquiring a backrub from my hubby, after he returns from a long day at work. I know…super bad kitty!

Now, I’ve backed spaced, and am sitting here wandering… I confuse wondering with wandering; probably because I am always wondering about something or another. Maybe I’ve hit upon something: mainstream people wander about and Aspies’ wonder about. We just got the words mixed up; that’s all.

I need to think of a word for when I digress, and then return to what I was saying, back to the time before my brain peeled away from the curb (image that is confusing this brain), and left me standing with huge bags of groceries (filled with a lot of information). Mean brain.

Backspace won’t work, because when I backspace I delete all the ingredients simmering in my mind—or fermenting like old fruit. Picturing the green and white moldy fuzz I often find on oranges at the bottom of the fruit bowl. Wondering/Wandering if you ever find old fruit.

The word Back up could feasibly play the part, except when I picture the word backup, as I do picture most words in my brain…(Brain=big squishy mass like those stress balls you squeeze. If you have one. But with carved out ridges on it. And I mean if you have a stress ball, because I’m assuming you have a brain. But you know what they say about “assume.”)

I still remember learning the ass-u-me trick from Felix on The Odd Couple. I chuckled at seeing the word ass on television. The word was written on some board I think, or paper. Oscar and Felix were interesting characters to study. But I liked to study Mr. Rogers, the most. Hey, one time I heard that Mr. R was a navy seal. That was tough because that image, that of Mr. Rogers all dressed mysteriously-like in black, or some other secret-tough-awesome-guy outfit, very much jangled my brain—that squishy stress ball.  See, I can go full circle without even trying.

And you thought I didn’t have a point. The jokes on you. Another one of those sayings!!! Irks me to know (no) end, because my stress ball is now thinking where is the joke actually stuck on you? I’m thinking your shoulder and there’s an archetypal wad of gum there signifying the joke.  No offense. At least I didn’t put the gum in your hair, like the time…

Now I want you to know, that I purposely rambled on so you would see my vital point about requiring some sort of way to Back Up.

And if you believe that, then the joke is on you, and you probably haven’t read any other parts of my blog! This time, the gum on your shoulder is watermelon-flavored Bubble Yum. The flavor doesn’t last as long, but the smell is Yummy. As long as you don’t have food sensitivities and smell sensitivities like me, then the watermelon-gum smells all-fake and chemically (that’s a word?); please back away. I can’t stand the smell. Thanks.

1)   If you can remember what we were talking about (aka: what I was typing about), then you have an awesome short-term memory and do not have dyspraxia!

2)   If you have to scan back up to the first line of the second paragraph and regroup, then you know what it feels like to live in my squishy stress ball.

Now, that I’m thinking about that whole self-manifestation/visualize your destiny mumbo-jumbo, (Not that I don’t believe in active visualization—I just like that word mumbo-jumbo, because I picture little clams playing the drums in a Cajun band. Don’t ask me why.), I’m wondering/wandering if I ought to maybe picture my brain as something other than a stress ball—like maybe at least transferring the image over to a squishy world ball or a water balloon. Any ideas on how I might visualize my brain? If you’re laughing, I don’t want your suggestions.

I don’t have to scan to the top of this post, to know what I was writing about in the very beginning, before I so trade-markedly transgressed, even though I have dyspraxia, because the remainder of my written words are still below this string of letters on my computer screen, from before I had to back up. (That’s a long sentence.)

Very conveniently my thoughts are still here in black and white. Very thankful, as I’ve long forgotten from whence (I like that adverb: picturing a stuffy old English, as in UK, professor. Not that I think your stuffy, if your English. Just stereotyping the professors, like I was stereotyped when I moved to Massachusetts and everyone called me surfer-girl. Still irks me that they didn’t even know what an OP shirt was.)

Hmmmmm….. In analyzing myself this morning, I’m thinking, when I don’t have to get up early, and worry about all the sensory issues involved in starting my day, that I get sort of giddy and humorous, and fun to be around, and because of that I am more relaxed, and it’s easier to be myself. And lucky for you that means you get to read an entire post that never actually went anywhere, except in one big circle.

For you in the slow group, let me connect the dots. No offense if you were ever in a slow group at one point or another in your life. That was unfair for people to put you there. I’m visually patting you on the back…and pulling off the wadded gum. Do you want to chew it?

1)   For you in the slow group, let me connect the dots (Deja vu! Weird!): On the days my boys don’t have school, and on weekends, be prepared to perhaps read only the first and last paragraph of my posts.

2)   Unless you are in the advanced group, then you might figure out it is in your best interest to skip the post entirely.

3)   For those of you that are still confused, I give you permission to press the like button without actually looking at the words on any given page. Also, I give you permission to send the link to a relative—let’s say (since I already stereotyped) a person like your mother-in-law, and tell them: “This is the most deeply insightful post, I have every read in my entire life.” Say it, just like that. And then wait…wait…wait on it! And just see what festers. Kind of like the old fruit at the bottom of the bowl.

4)   And let me not forget the marvelous Aspies. You move to the top of the class! Yes, you do. Because you not only understand this post but you seriously get it. And you’re so happy because you found a new best friend!

For all you who have stayed with me this entire post, let us pause for self-applause, a little pat on the back, a little “You Rock!” aloud.

Say it. “You Rock _________.” Slow group: insert your name on the blank line. Okay, try again.

Finally, back to the dangling sentence from fifty minutes ago. As I was saying, (Dang, I have to scan up to see the other part of the sentence. Just a second.) All right, I found it. It’s in the second paragraph. (All right should be one word, already!)

I’m doing the cool walk, acting like this was all supposed to happen, this rambling on and on and on. I’m picturing my teenage son, who struts like he’s all that (odd saying), and wondering/wandering how I could think fourteen-year-olds were mature, when I was younger and kissed one.  Like super young, fourteen myself. Not an adult. Yuck!

Anyhow, so (I like the word so—leftover rebellion from my youth: SO? Accompanied by eyes rolling up and lips pressed together. Oh, oh, I know like that one multiple personality alter in that show The United States of Tara. )…Anyhow, so, right now, (in my head), I’m doing my inner cool strut, thinking I’m all that, to avoid the inevitable of appearing like a rambling fool, and seriously (another word I like. Won’t get into the visual), and seriously wondering/wandering how to put the pearls back on the string of this conversation.

Note how I called this a conversation. Because for an Aspie—This is a conversation! High-five to my Sista! (That’s Tara again. Watch the show, if you need to know.)

There’s just no easy way to do this. Here it is, the rest of my sentence from (let me count), about thirteen paragraphs ago. Look for IF.

{Here’s the sentence where we left off, from atop the post:} “Now, I’ve backed spaced, and am sitting here wandering… ”

“… IF super bad kitty” is some type of saying the mainstream uses to indicate the unmentionable on my G-rated blog. Pondering. Evaluating. Thinking, I’ll have to double-check with my husband. Just in case there is any confusion: super bad kitty, in my book (which is so darn thick) means extremely inconsiderate cat. There that’s better. I had naughty, and had to strike that, too. Oh, bother!”

Confusing. Isn’t it? I’m nodding, knowing the words came out of my squishy stress ball…I mean globe ball. I’m holistic and earthy now.

I was so excited to write to you this morning that I just now pulled out the earplug from my right ear. I couldn’t before, as I was caught up in this deep insightful prose! (Note this is the last paragraph that the slow group will be reading, as mentioned in number one above. So let them think it’s insightful. Don’t burst their bubble—or stress ball…or water balloon. You get the picture. And that’s why: You Rock, ____________!

(Slow group, insert your name on the line.)

* So far the main insight I’ve gained, by venturing to create this blog, is that I am particularly fond of the words: so, sort of, kind of, see, saying, anyhow, for, and wandering.  Somehow that doesn’t seem like progress?? Oh, and the words seem, like, and oh.