Day 63: People Are Strange

For the 4-Play of my writing today, I watched cheesy videos on the Internet and learned:

59 million people have listened to a lady repeat the phrase “sitting on the toilet” about sixteen times. I played it twice and tried to count, and gave up. It ends with a flush.

19 million watched a “fat kid on rollercoaster” for 57 seconds. Who posts that?

35 million people watched a ninja baby for 36 seconds. That one was sort of cute.

10 million watched “young girl drops c-word on national TV…Twice.” It was on the Today Show.

Now I’m watching something called “Extreme Face Omelet.”

Each day I live, I become more confused by culture.

It’s been about an hour, and I’ve yet to find something I’d actually want to share with you. Except for the fact that my husband thinks I’m stranger than ever.

After watching freaky eaters, strange addictions, soggy flappy faces in slow motion, and Weird Al, and the like, I am quite worried that if alien life forms have access to human’s video clips, they’ll choose to extinguish the entire human race.

I’ve concluded: People are Strange.

At least we’ll always have the Brady Bunch.

My husband wanted me to remind you that the Brady Bunch lost to the dog act when they did their Keep on Movin’ dance scene.

Today, I was planning to share a story about how I was beaten with a board by strangers when I was a little girl. Now, after my introduction, I’m laughing and realizing child abuse just doesn’t fit with the feel of this post. So I’m keeping with the Strange Theme.

Unverified Strange Facts About People

Unverified because I’m not in college anymore, and I do not want to back things up with research ever again! Please keep in mind, my idea of strange is subjective and may not accurately represent your idea of strange.

  1. Some people let snakes slither on their backs for a snake massage. The treatments are said to ease migraines and soothe sore muscles.
  2.  In a sleep study researches discovered dreams prevent psychosis.
  3. Charles Dickens slept facing North. He believed this act would improve his writing.
  4. There are more collect calls on Father’s Day than any other day of the year.
  5. Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.
  6. In a survey Americans revealed banana was their favorite smell.
  7. Married men change their underwear twice as often as single men.
  8. On average 100 people will choke to death on ballpoint pens each year.
  9. On average a person farts 14 times a day.
  10. The earth could be repopulated to its current population level by the number of sperm that could fit in an aspirin capsule!
  11.  You are actually reading what I write in detail.

*Important side note: The colder the room you sleep in, the better the chances are that you will have a bad dream. That’s why I’ve had so many bad dreams since moving to Washington State.

Famous People With Autism (Unverified but cool!)


For those of you who need more:

Weird Laws Around the World

Top Ten Festivals for People to Throw Things

 

Day 61: Another One Bites the Dust!

Would it be entirely inappropriate to modify the title of this post to: ‘Another One Bites the Dust!  Bite Me!’?

Probably.

Most people wouldn’t get the vampire pun.

This week I’ve lost a couple of blog followers. Pausing for sniffles.

Even though Little Me repeatedly reminds the Geek Posse that we’ve gained cool new followers, the Posse remains in perpetual mourning. Crazy Frog is convinced it is my husband who unfollowed us.

Along with all of the commotion—the dressing in black attire, the donning of veils, the depressing funeral music—the Geek Posse put anonymous slips of papers in an empty fish bowl. Papers that explain why we lost followers. If you are a regular reader, you might be able to tell which ones Crazy Frog wrote.

Reasons People Stop Following the Geek Posse

(Words found on slips of paper) 

1. They came to find out what a brain of a female with Asperger’s syndrome is like. They found out. They left.

2. It’s tax season in America—your posts are far too long.

3. You didn’t visit their blog enough.

4. People who knew you in high school when you were a homecoming princess and cheerleader (gag!) are entirely disillusioned.

5. That non-stealth creature that keeps stealing your articles, snuck out after seeing the dorky sign you wrote and posted about her.

6. You used far too much “churchiness” in that post about Angel and Mary.

7. They think you are a false prophet.

8. You published twice in one day!

9. Their name starts with the letter D.

10. Your music selection is way old school.

11. You post corny old songs.

12. You repeat yourself.

13. Some people’s IQ-levels are too low to catch your humor.

14. They think you are a real vampire, alien, or a frog.

15. Your mental health therapist unfollowed you.

16. Someone over identified with the Reactive Reaper people-type.

17. Someone realized you meant him when you listed number 10 in Why People Follow Blogs.

18. This picture of the dog in large size scared them:

19. You write too little about Aspergers.

20. You write too much about Aspergers.

21. Your blog is better than theirs!

22. Grandma is confused.

23. They left with the intention of rejoining your blog under a fake identity.

24. They finished their thesis research paper on frontal lobe syndromes.

25. They fear you will track them down and try to be their real friend.

26. A traumatized man fled in fear, after discovering you are premenopausal.

27. The word is out that you are Italian and can’t cook.

28. They were drunk when they pressed the follow icon.

29. They are tired of lists.

30. You removed the distinguished profile picture of Crazy Frog that was posted in the My Lingo section.

31. They pressed My Lingo Button.

32. They are pissed off that they might have Aspergers after reading your list of traits.

33. They don’t like the words boob, dumbass, or pissed off.

34. They think Aspergers sounds like a butt-burger; and they are a conservative vegetarian.

35. You deleted them from your Facebook group page.

36. You told your husband one too many times: “Fine! Stop following my blog, then!”

Geek Posse at Everyday Aspergers

  

Day 60: Why People Read Blogs

Why am I here? Everyday Aspergers.

The Geek Posse got together and established a list of probable reasons why humans read blogs.

Why People Read Blogs (55 Reasons Humans Stare at a Screen)

1. Some are attracted to braggadocio and aggrandizement, and are prone to puffery.

2. Some are freedom-of-speech fans empowered by rebel-rousing topics.

3. Some want to know what contemporaries are thinking.

4. Some are dumbfounded and jealous-ridden, working tediously to uncover the truth behind the author’s large blog-following.

5. Some enjoy the adrenaline rush that accompanies provocative, offensive, and/or highly debatable subject matter.

6. Some are clueless as to why they keep coming back.

7. Some are stalkers, the age of twelve, or recently retired.

8. Some are scared to stop.

9. Some read out of courtesy and guilt.

10. Some are trying to promote their own blogs through the utilization of like buttons and commentary boxes.

11. Some followed a link from a search engine or social network, and still aren’t sure where they are.

12. Some are wisdom-gatherers from the forest of over-achieving, obsession, or boredom.

13. Some are paid to read; it’s part of their job description.

14. Some hate their job.

15. Some believe the author could easily transition from an online friend to a real world friend.

16. Some believe the blogger will give them an autographed copy of a soon-to-be published book.

17. Some are attracted to affective exchange.

18. Some are members of government, educational, or psychology agencies partaking in information gathering.

19. Some are entertainment junkies.

20. Some are in the process of making purchasing decisions.

21. Some are tense-issue seekers.

22. Some have empathetic listening ears.

23. Some dare to know themselves through others.

24. Some are bloggers who want to know their audience.

25. Some are victims of the bandwagon effect.

26. Some find relevance.

27. Some were pulled in by the ‘about me’ page.

28. Some are waiting to find relevance.

29. Some make connections with interactive readers.

30. Some are delighted by the unordinary and unexpected.

31. Some know that crazy people make great bloggers.

32. Some read what they could never say.

33. Some are adding a good laugh to their day.

34. Some like photos.

35. Some are fascinated by all things foreign.

36. Some are stay-at-home moms (mums) avoiding dishes and diapers (nappies).

37. Some long for ‘real’ friends.

38. Some read solely for enjoyment.

39. Some are voyeuristic lurkers.

40. Some want to hear the little voice in their head squeal again: “Yes! I know exactly what you mean.”

41. Some consider blogs online diaries.

42. Some are huge fans of geeks.

43. Some applaud brutal honesty and the raw truth.

44. Some are glimpsing into the ordinary.

45. Some are nosey gossips.

46. Some think the author is a ‘lovely’ person.

47.  Some people are curious about how others handle life.

48. Some are seeking direction.

49. Some want to get to know the writer.

50. Some appreciate fresh perspectives on ordinary facts and events.

51. Some love people who over-share.

52. Some abhor rubbish and repetition.

53. Some recognize talent.

54. Some need proof that normal and sane are nonexistent.

55. Some to know they are not alone.

Do I dare ask why you are reading?

© Everyday Aspergers, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. https://aspergersgirls.wordpress.com

This list brought to you from Sam Craft’s brain. Like this list? Here are more.

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Blog Rules

Reasons I know I have Aspergers