Day 130: The Two Cups

I recognize this as a very odd post. This second chakra awakening, passion, or transition—whatever words are chosen to attempt to decipher what is occurring for me at a soul and cellular level, is directly related to reclaiming the spirit in me that was lost in my youth. My sensitive nature, depth of soul, and ability to take in extreme amounts, coupled with the circumstances of my childhood, led me to lock a large portion of my self away.

This portion locked away, was largely the part which knewΒ I was beautifull, knew I was worthy, and knew I was desirable. When very young, I learned how not to live, how not to show joy, how to in effect dislike myself and my body in order to survive.

In knowing this now, with a profound awakening on multiple levels, I am holding a cup in either hand. To the right of me is the hope of this now found passion. To the left, balancing my position, are the memories. I am seeing how each feeds the other. The erupting passion on one side, the imploding self on the other. The flame and the joust.

Here I place the cups before you. Experience as you’d like. For we each stand with two cups. All equally balanced in beauty.

Embracing Me

One of the reasons I am taking photos of myself lately is to embrace the beauty that is me. I never have seen me before. Seen how very lovely inside and out I am. This is part of my growth process. My hair is usually unbrushed and I wear no makeup, say lip gloss. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s fresh. I love it.Β 

Breaking Free
Maui 2012

Flame

Naked

He beckons

The depths of me

Fingers dripped in sweet

Honey-suckle nectar

Lips moist

Dew upon the fields of sunrise

Strawberry mist

Pours through

A damp fire of longing

Reclaims pleasure

Lighting the avenue of discontent

With fierce flames of gentle dragon

Until

Devoured by desire

I taste

The phantom of celestial union

Kissing ghosts

Where we once breathed

Beauty
Maui 2012

Switching the MOOD back to LOVE here. One of my FAVORITES…. This video WILL make you smile. I promise…and this is where I am today…in this state of mind. πŸ™‚

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22 thoughts on “Day 130: The Two Cups

  1. You are Such a great writer, the story, so vivid in detail and depth, the poem…. Amazing and I really loved the video~ Made me smile~ πŸ™‚ The combination of the three expressions here was truly the creme in my mental coffee today~ Thank you~!

    1. Awe, thanks. I try really hard to put on paper/screen what is in my mind and heart. The hard part is interpreting what I am feeling and seeing into words. I so much appreciate the words of vivid detail and depth…that’s what I aspire to show…in words and in spirit. Creme in the mental coffee today….might have to steal that fantastic line. πŸ™‚ Thanks, much light and love, Sam

    1. Awe…thanks so much Robyn. I have written many poems, and this one truly captures where my spirit is at the moment. Thank you for seeing that. Embracing your comment, surely. And you are double-amazing. Keep healing through your lovely art and giving spirit. hugs, Sam πŸ™‚

    1. Nothing like a big bro to lift a sister’s spirit! Thank you. A mirror to the soul, we all are to one another. It is the spirit of light working through me. I give source the credit, but will gladly smile.
      Embrace your day, Sam πŸ™‚

  2. I’ve read “The Joust” twice over. Excellent.

    I relish the details. You paint Ben so vividly as being foul–

    “I eyed him with caution as his mouth opened, half-expecting a fly to emerge from the depths. ”

    I laughed, and sighed.

    He seems like a contagin, befouling the ashtray, your mother and even trying to bespirch you.

    All the details–his fingernails, hair, language, mannerisms portray a very real and disturbing picture.

    Outstanding writing, Sam. I love your shorts!

    Lori

    1. Oh, so glad you got a good look at Ben….he was around for five plus years…so I got to get a good view of him in my mind’s eye. I’m so glad you loved! Much appreciated. Hugs and love, sam πŸ™‚

    1. Rewrote my response. Thank you for your comment. I am sorry the story made you sad. 😦 I have WONDERFUL people in my life now that out shine all the sadness of the past. To think of others going through this makes me sad, too. Your heart is so big. Your students are blessed to have you. Your forever friend, Sam πŸ™‚

  3. Great stuff, Sam. You are so talented.

    And I’m so glad that you are having second-chakra/Shadow side integrations πŸ˜‰ It’s so amazing to see people coming to themselves, never fails to make me stand back in amazement.

  4. Sam- what you are experiencing is a beautiful thing and I feel privileged that you are allowing us all in to be a part of it alongside of you. “When very young, I learned how not to live, how not to show joy, how to in effect dislike myself and my body in order to survive.” You are the fourth person I have heard these or similar words from in the past two days, I strongly believe that there is a worldwide awakening going on among the light-workers. it is all part of the 2012 re-awakening of spiritual souls. Many of us have suffered the effects of our childhoods and learned to shut off our emotions. I am simply thrilled that I ran across Everyday Aspergers,; Aspergersgirls and began to open myself back up to the parts I had shut off so I can share the your wisdom with the other women in my life that are going through similar transformations. You truly are sent by the Universe to reach many.

    1. Humbled by your sincere words. Thank you very much. And thank you for sharing with me what others have been saying and experiencing. Remarkable. And I agree. πŸ™‚ Smiles friend, Sam
      Oh, and so glad you found the blog and our support group! Talk soon.

  5. I think your teacher was right. I don’t know what to make of Ben or “your” mom here. As they gain layers, hope I once held for mere mistakes or bad choices, are becoming traits of not stellar characters here. I have invested in this young girl, trapped in that household. I want to rescue her. It’s very frustrating to sit here and read it play out without me being able to step in and put in my 2 cents.

    The poetry, by contrast, is beautiful and so is your photo. Did you cut your hair?

    1. My mom was a young mother and often faced her own inner challenges. Ben eventually left the picture. I am sorry you want to step in….but I get that. And thank you for that very much. πŸ™‚ No hair cut. Just fresh out of bed. lol Thank you for the investment. May the ripples of time carry your love back to that time and may the little girl know she is not alone. Much love, Sam πŸ™‚ thanks for reading and caring.

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