Day 152: Sometimes When We Touch

 “I’m just another writer still trapped within my truth.” ~ Dan Hill

Sometimes when I dream, the honesty is too much.  Sometimes when I dream, I travel into the life and spirit of a friend. Sometimes strangers visit me. Always, always people come, in all forms, with all types of messages. And we touch.

Recently, I’ve had two friends visit in my dreams, just in this last six days. Both dreams were filled with extreme emotion, both dreams had anxiety, both involved an urgency. When I awake from dreams such as these, I am left with a residue, a film in my spirit, something that remains, the remnants of what was shared with me. A streak in the glass of my vision I can’t wipe clean.

If I am fortunate enough to confirm the happening in the dream, and make a connection, and find some validity in discovering what I sensed actually occurred in real life, I am able to discharge and remove some of the energy. If not, sometimes I take on the feelings of the other person, become overly concerned about something I do not understand and cannot even pinpoint. I may feel a rush of panic, fear, or injustice. I might weep. I might laugh. I might become hyper focused. I might hibernate; attempting to disrobe the feelings, only to emerge still weighed down and lost. I take on this energy, as much as I take on the dreams, without knowing how or why, and without knowing how to stop.

Sometimes I want to break down and cry. Sometimes I have to close my eyes and hide. The emotions are so overwhelming. I feel like I’ve been opened up and had another’s spirit poured into me. At times I become that person. At times I understand the person more than myself.

I dreamt once, years ago, of my long time friend. She was stretched out on a car and pointing to her kidneys and kept saying, “I need a bladder operation; the doctor told me I need a bladder operation.” I called my friend the next morning, and sure enough she had just found out she required surgery related to the tubing above her bladder.

Long ago, while I was napping my grandmother started wafting above my bed, a ghostly apparition draped in an aqua-colored dress. Swaying back and forth, an inch below the bedroom ceiling, she kept repeating the same phrase:  “Wake up.  Get off the phone.  I am waiting for a man from Egypt to call.” This made absolutely no sense to me, as I was sound asleep some two hundred miles away from Grandma, and I most certainly wasn’t on the telephone.  Still dreaming, and wanting desperately to get some rest, I looked up at Grandma and answered, “But I’m not on the phone.  I’m taking a nap.”

Grandma continued on, a stream of blue, weaving herself back and forth in my room, badgering me to get off the telephone.  Having found no luck, after I placed two pillows over my head to block out her voice, I sat up and screamed, “If you leave me alone, I’ll call you when I wake up.  Go away and let me sleep!”  On my words, Grandma vanished.

Within the hour I phoned my grandmother.  After a few minutes on the phone, I delicately described my dream to her, thinking at some point she’d say I wasn’t making any sense, and that would be the end of the discussion.  Surprisingly, Grandma responded, without pause for breath, “You’re a witch! I’ve been sitting by the phone waiting for a man from Egypt to call me about his interest in buying my house.  How did you know? Actually, I need to get off the phone now.  He might be trying to call.”

Years ago, I dreamt that two of my teaching colleagues would be going to Japan by the end of the year. They both came to my dream together and told me. That year both were surprised to learn they were traveling to Japan. One was accepted in an over-seas teaching program; the other unexpectedly was invited by a host family. Another time an old woman, a stranger,  came to me in my dream very upset. She said that my mother was going through her items and taking them, keeping them for herself. She showed me the room where the items were spread out. She showed me my mother holding her things. I told my mother the next day, and sure enough my mother had been to a friend’s house and had collected several items from her friend’s mom whom had just died.

There are so many visits, I could go on and on: a family drowned on the beach, my future house and the owners of the house, my future employer, my car accident, my grandfather’s car accident, my mother-in-law’s cancer, my friend house hunting, the person dying in the car off the highway, my husband’s co-worker getting married and denying it, my son’s karate teacher getting engaged, friends divorcing, friends weeping on couches …..so many various people visiting me to tell me about their lives.

When I was very little, animals visited me and showed me their death. Usually my pets, but once a friend’s bunny came in my dream. The animals usually died just like they showed me within seven days. Once my canary was slashed under the eye by a stray cat. Once my dog died on the Fourth of July after jumping a fence. The dreams came true, just as I had witnessed. Thank goodness I was able to tell my mother the night of the dreams, which then I called nightmares. She was at least able to validate my experience. To show me my dreams were coming true and I wasn’t insane.

Interestingly, it seems lately the more I share and write, and the more I am not afraid to be authentic and honest, the more these dreams and feelings are coming. And the more I’m visited.  I don’t mind the visits for the most part. I feel honored and know this gift or ability, or whatever one choses to call my visions, is a part of my journey. But there are definite times, like this week, when the emotions are so over powering that I don’t know what to say or do.

It’s times like these that sometimes when we touch, sometimes the honesty is too much. And then, all I want to do is to just hold my friend and cry, to hold on tight and not let go until the fear in us subsides.


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27 thoughts on “Day 152: Sometimes When We Touch

  1. LOL,I just replied to your comment elsewhere,my friend-I’d forgotten I was logged into this account when I “liked” your post…it’s me,”The DC (The Disabled Cyclist) 😛 I started this other blog so as to keep my cycling friends from drudging through my model building hobby talk 🙂

    The DC

    1. See, and I was being all friendly because you were a new visitor on my blog….because I’m nice that way. he he
      Well, I liked the car and got to see your sweet son. So no worries
      LOL.
      Have fun with your other blog….and I’ll try to remember the cars are the cycler’s page…lol
      No promises. I might forget.
      😉 Sam

      1. No worries on forgetting,my friend…I can’t even remember what I was unna say 😛 LOL,seriously,due to my injiries from ’01,there was damage to the area of my brain that deals with memory,so I do often forget things (lets just say I hit my head REALLY hard in an on the job accident…hard enough to have broken my neck in 2 places…ugh 😛 )

  2. Well…..You’ve been given a charge…i don;t know why…And, it’s a heavy burden for sure…Seems to much for one persion…keep writing…keep sharing…let the collective us help hold some of this up….hugs!!!

    1. I like your words: “let the collective us help hold some of this up.” That’s a keen statement. Will do, Sir D. Or I’ll find a magic wand and wave it around and make everyone HAPPY, then I can have la, la, la dreams. Actually, I get to have good dreams, too.
      I wouldn’t say outright “burden.” — hard at times for certain, but never a burden to be visited by someone in search of something or someone, or a traveler who found me by mistake. Glad we are friends. Holding you in light. ~ Sam 🙂

  3. Thank you, Sam, for sharing this. It’s intriguing what you describe; you have opened up and tuned deep into the ethers. Whenever I have a difficult dream of this kind I resign all to what I perceive as the “Goodness” and in its light everything feels safe and settled. Warmest wishes to you, James.

    1. Oh yes, James. I like the idea of perceiving the goodness and feeling safe in the light. This does happen, but generally I have to process the symbols and images, and emotions first. Part of the journey, I suppose. Thanks for reading. Hope all is well. Smiles to you, Sam 🙂

  4. Sam, I’m a firm believer that some of us are more “in touch” with other worlds/realities/lives than our fellow humans. I think I have this to a small degree. It definitely sounds like you are someone who has that special connection.

  5. So interesting Sam…sounds like you must be very open and receptive to be able to receive these signals… Timely again that you bring this all up right now. You know I just lost a dear old friend on Tuesday. I had no idea how long she had, and in the 5 days prior to her passing, I dreamt of her 3 times. I heard her voice so clearly in one my dreams. She said my name – just as she always did. Had never dreamed of her before. There must be something bigger here… when we can receive these signals. It’s happened to me before but not nearly to the extent it seems you have. The fact you can be comfortable now with the process is wonderful. Another gift of the highly sensitive empath that I know you are. Sending big hugs to you my sea sis!!

    1. My dad was the same way as me. He chose to shut a lot of it out through his attitude. I won’t say more. However, he explained to me that we are like lights on a hill sending off signals. I tend to be able to understand that aspect.
      I am so sorry again about your friend’s passing. I have thought about that this week. It makes sense her spirit spoke to you before her passing—total sense. I get that. I have no doubt a part of her knew and was preparing you. Yes, there has to be a much “bigger”, I cannot doubt that. I have seen to much and met too many people who “know” me to not believe it.
      Being comfortable is HUGE….I didn’t know any better when I was in my early 20s and I would ramble on about all my dreams, ghosts, and other experiences, and really scare people off. So then I hid a lot. Now I am more comfortable and better at gradually sharing.
      I think you must have such empathic abilities, surely, with the combination of artist’s soul, chronic pain, and kind heart.
      Big hugs right back to you Sea Sister. I always look forward to your blog and to your visits and commments here. ~ 🙂

  6. You know it sounds crazy, it does. But I understand in a way. I have never heard someone recount as many instances of it as you though. That part is very unusual. This may sound even crazier to you but I have memories of events that occurred before I was born. I used to tell my mom about things I remembered – and she would laugh and tell me I must’ve picked up the idea from something I heard her talk about with him, mixed in my dreams and so I learned to doubt myself, but there was one instance in particular, where I know it was a memory.

    I have not had the premonitions you have had so stark and close in time but someday I will tell you of a life event that changed me in my early 20s that I believe I was being prepared for years before it happened.

    I cannot imagine how this kind of gift could leave you anything but worn out, physically and emotionally. Have you ever tied the stress of these experiences with the pain you have described going through? Just wondering if there was a connection there. Writing must be some form of stress reliever. You look reflective and refreshed today. 🙂

    1. Waving hello to you. 🙂 Doesn’t sound crazy to me. I’m hard to surprise when it comes to stories—as I’ve seen a little bit in this life time. 😉
      I totally believe you! My son, when he was 2, would tell me about a fire and a house burning, and his family. And there are many spiritual belief systems that honor past lives….so not crazy at all. I am sorry your mom took that away from you. I can see how that might scare a parent.
      Oh, please do tell. Maybe when we have tea. I would love to hear about the event you mentioned.
      I also pick up on people’s pain. I had my mom’s exact symptoms after colon surgery up until she started feeling better—about 2.5 months. I pick up on chest pain, shoulder pain, back pain. It’s an odd “ability” that I don’t much care for. So yes, there is a connection. YOU are so smart!!! And the constant emotions….trying to figure out if they are my feelings or someone else’s—that is hard on my body. That’s why I have shutdown days, where I do nothing. I have to so I can reenergize.
      PMS is over….thus refreshed….lol
      🙂 Hugs to you fine friend.

  7. Not only are your words touching and beautiful but this song is one of my favorite love songs. I used to shed a few tears after a break-up whenever I hear it. Thanks for sharing a post with lots of hearts in it. Have a great day!

    1. Awe….thanks so much. That song has been in my head for two days. Don’t know why. But I had to use it and write a post around the song. I’d never truly listened to the lyrics before, and they are quite beautiful. I remember the teary days of breakups well. Thanks for stopping by. 🙂 Sam

  8. Hi Sam: You have an unusual gift that part of me envies and part of me breathes a sigh of relief that I do not have this gift. My best wishes to you. 🙂

    I have been getting to know you a bit through these last months and I want you to know that I think you are a special person and a very strong one for sharing so much of yourself with others. As being one of those others: I thank you. You inspire me to let some of myself come out too.

  9. Sam this is just amazing, reminds me a my one Aunt and sister, just not so intense as you described. I can tell if I have “anything” I just seem to block it out. I think I am afraid. It’s also odd, I love this song, haven’t heard it for ages 🙂 Now it will stay with me for the day. Thanks so much for all you share.

  10. I love this post Sam. This reminds me of an experience my dad talked to me about. In this experience, he talked about how he saw a boy (from what i remember him saying) running across his yard, into the street where he got run over. Soon enough, dad found out that a boy actually died from getting run over by a vehicle. I have never had these kinds of experiences, yet i have had tons of telepathic experiences as i grow up. You are very gifted Sam, and i love that you can embrace your dreams. Love you soul sister.
    ~Maya

    1. Your dad sounds like an interesting person. Interesting story. Thank you for always being so supportive in all ways. I appreciate your bright light so much. Hugs to you. And HAPPY SUMMER! 🙂

  11. My mother has dreams like this- usually about death.

    And me? I usually forget my dreams, but sometimes I’ll remember a remnant- a picture, a sound, a feeling. Usually all of them.

    And then, a day or a week or a month later, I’ll be doing something, feeling something, and I’ll see the picture, feel the feeling, and hear the sound… but this time, it’s real.

    This probably makes no sense whatsoever, but it’s something that’s been on my mind for awhile.

  12. Thanks for the article, I have had many similar experiences, like knowing about my sister and her passing long before I even knew she had existed, knowing about my little brother two years before i found out about him, (this was when i was younger so I didn’t know what was happening yet, just that I couldn’t get these thoughts out of my head, these feelings of her loss), my first job,my friend getting married to a girl with a spefic name all though it took years before they finally married, he met her months after i dreamed of her and I know they will have a little boy eventually,these are just some of the big ones, like you i could list for ever. I am also very empathic, I fee other peoples pain (pregnancy, back aches etc,) I can feel other peoples emotions in the atmosphere it changes how I feel, like if a family member feel crappy i do to of if there mood suddenly changes i feel it and so does mine. It is very exhausting sometimes. Anyways I just wanted to say I’m glad I’m not the only one.

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