Day 94: Samtastico the Avenger’s Gobbledygook and Missing Slipstream Download

Sometimes I am an intense painter opening the art gallery doors to the crowds; only to observe the patrons scratching their heads in confusion at my masterpiece that I have come to slowly realize resembles an abstract of a close up donkey butt.

Free Wallpaper at

Sometimes I am a self-inflated preschooler that longs to share hygiene facts, like the garlic cream I rubbed on my shoulder to try to erase these weird skin growths I’ve acquired since occupying the dark and humid northwest.

Sometimes I am an overloaded sponge of thoughts and images pounding my head in rapid procession into the pinewood computer table.

Sometimes I am a teary-eyed poet dripping my melancholic prose across the space called cyber.

Today I am Crazy Frog rocking out and longing to paint a donkey butt abstract.

Be Happy. Sing with Me, now!

By the end of this prose you will be one of the privileged few people in this universe that understands the title of this post. This understanding will gift you with undeniable powers to peruse through almost any of my other writings with a knowing nod of recognition and sympathy. Welcome to the Sam Zone!

One of my blogging pals, a cool male kindergarten teacher and natural poet, calls my writing Samtastic.  Sometimes. Well, at least twice. Now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve written ninety-four posts and he has only used that word two or three times. What is that percentage?

Regardless of the stats, the word Samtastic is part of the reason I contemplate changing my legal name to Sam. How cool to have the mantra: Samtastic. I’d add a letter O to the end though, to make the word pseudo-Italian. I dare you to say Samtastico without a smile and without moving your hands in gesture. Anyone craving calzones smothered in mozzarella besides me?

Those that have been reading my prose—aka: contemplative poetry, quirky tales, vivacious rambles, verbose lists—have likely heard mention of The Geek Posse. Well, they’ve been collaborating in a Samtastic way to assist me in reaching conclusions about my little life. Go team brain!

The collaboration is akin to having an extended coffee chat with a dear friend, laughing and crying hysterically together, and then sharing that mutual glow of having just solved all the world’s problems in one sitting! Only with the Geek Posse, the participant is just solo-me and select spheres of my brain.

With the help of the posse, I’ve recently realized (probably nine weeks later than my longtime faithful reader: aka George) that in the passing months, I inadvertently ventured into a warped time zone, and magnificently morphed into Asperger’s Woman: Avenger of all Things Aspie!

See my little cape? It’s red and blue starred with purple zigzags and lemon drops.

I’m finally coming out of a tailspin into Aspie Land and realizing my life is much more than Aspergers.

Amazing. I know!

This decreases my abstract donkey-butt longing from boil to simmer.

Sidetrack: Many Literary Advice Books ardently advice would-be authors to not use adverbs too often. But the combined ly letters intrigue me. The books also warn not to ramble, go off tangent, and use made up words. That’s why I burned all my writing manuals and used them as a source of heat when we had the three-day power outage during January’s snowstorm.

Back to the Geek Posse, two days ago, while fasting and listening to mantras, guru me had a wonderful series of images flash through my mind regarding my association with Aspergers. I call this experience of seeing images fly, flap, and belly flop across my mind: downloading. During downloading, I receive information, possibly from galactic powers, angels, or intelligent interactive bacteria. It’s quite a Jungian experience, liken to the collective unconscious slipstream propelling me forward in extremely vivid thought.

This time after downloading the information and reading the words to myself, I heard a very serious female voice, similar to Captain Kathryn Janeway from the Starfleet Starship USS Voyager.

Look What I Found! Totally Unrelated and Totally Awesome!

Sidetrack: How do I know Captain Janeway’s voice? Remember I married a science major, a euphemism for smart geek who likes all things Trek-like. Remember, too, I have Aspergers, so I was rather clueless about what a science major really meant beyond the periodic table. The same cluelessness I had about three boys equaling perpetual dirty area under toilet.

Awesomeness in Geek Format!

Sidetrack: I just looked up Fun Facts about the Periodic Table and there was nothing fun at all. Just a bunch of confusing questions, like: Which is the lightest element with an atomic symbol that is also a US state postal code? Really? That’s fun?

I also found Periodic Table Puns like:

What do you do to flowers? Platinum

What a doctor does to his patients – Cur ium, Hel ium, or Bari um

I’m still trying to decide if this means the doctor is giving a barium enema or burying them. One of my superpowers is the ability to crack myself up, and I guess also composing downloaded prose from beyond and hearing the voice of female space captain. Hmmm? And they let me teach children.

Tomorrow, I’ll read some more of those Periodic Table Fun Facts before I write, so I can be in a serious mood when I introduce the downloaded slipstream. For now, all the serious parts of me Argon. So be good until tomorrow. Because I’ve got my ion you! HeHe (2 isotopes of helium).

Samtastico Quiz. Pass or fail. If you can now understand the title of this post you pass. If not, at least you learned a barium joke!

I wonder if this person is one of my followers. That would make sense.

22 thoughts on “Day 94: Samtastico the Avenger’s Gobbledygook and Missing Slipstream Download

  1. I LOVE all your tangents, you make me feel “normal” are there realy rules on writing, well I never. Oh yes I remember now, I missed all that at school I was still learning the alphabet. 🙂
    You made me do it you know, with the hand movements and everything…”Samtastico.”
    Loved the pingpong ball, sorry to tell you…that lady is one of my followers. 😛
    Here is something from my tangents, TOTALLY unrelated.
    Love you LOADS and LOADS. Lees. xxx 🙂

    1. Love the bird video! I’ve always loved birds since I can remember. I have watched them and prayed over them when they die.
      Tangents? What tangents? 😉
      You are Samtastico!
      I think I’ve had too much caffeine because for my 100th post I was thinking of making a youtube of me dancing to crazyfrog music.
      Love you Soul-Sister
      Sam the Ham

      1. LMHO…about the birds, I’ll PM you because if I share here I will loop on my childhood weirdness and who might be reading it…very similar to you though. xxx 🙂

  2. Hhahahahahah:)))))). The percentage in my head is 100 percent but I’m trying not to overdo it:). Samtastic(o) or (a) you always are:). For that there is no doubt. I loved the periodic table puns:). And soon as I saw this post title I was so excited:)). Twas not a disappointment:)

  3. Now I’m a bit worried for you, after reading that you got excited over that title! Oh, my! Your brain is certainly as silly as mine! Do you have your own geek posse?

    Glad you liked it. Wouldn’t want to disappoint after that “awesome” title. lol.
    I’ll take the 100%—which pretty much means you have to like whatever I write!
    Thanks for your support. ~ Sam
    (I think I might have scared some of my new followers away. Crazy Frog does that.)

  4. HeHe…funny and witty, fantastic samtastico!!!! love it!!!! i’m back and will read more…missed out on a lot, Sam…will catch up on your blogs, though 🙂 🙂 {{{{hugssss}}}}

    1. Boy, you sure read a lot of posts today! Go Girl! Fun reading all of your reactions and comments. Life is a journey, and I am so happy you are enjoying your life and loving YOU! 🙂 You are a sweetheart and shine bright! ~ Sam

  5. I was distraught there was no donkey’s behind. However, the barium chant did cheer me up. And the periodic table… even with that catchy song – it’s just too long! 😉

    1. I forgot that “Samtastico” makes me think of a magician – and perhaps the donkey’s behind made it’s appearance once I commented… so there!

    2. Laughing outloud! Sorry to disappoint. I didn’t know you had an interest. lol
      Barium guy was too cool.
      Yes, looooooong song!
      Thanks for commenting and fun chatting earlier. Sam

  6. Ha ha ha Now I have to share a couple of things. First let me say LOVE your downloading! The bounce back from deep thoughts and life changing inertia to boing, bong, booo is great. it’s so fun to read you fatntasitco! I do the same thing and feel some of my silliness starting to peek it’s head back into the world. Why am I going to share this stuff Samtastico? Because you made me smile and laugh and I am attempting to make you smile back!

    Things sharing 1) I sing to the tune of the Mighty Mouse song “Here I come to save the day, Angelique is on her way!!!” whenever there is some great need in the world. I do have a cape. There are more lyrics, but I will spare you. 2) You must have known that I would have some mad love for the periodic table! I have written a couple of poems about elements, I am currently working on a poem about Indium (49)

    Here is a song that the kids and I sing. Hee hee Boing, boing, boing!

    1. LOL. Only you could have found a cool element YouTube video. You are so good at finding cool stuff!
      You are making me smile. Downloading is a special gift reserved for angels on earth! Boing, Bong, Booo…Yep…reminds me of Roo on Winnie the Pooh!
      But, I’m more a Tigger, for certain.
      You have a cape! What does your super hero cape look like?
      Angelique is on the way! Go Super Hero!
      I wouldn’t mind the lyrics to your song or links; that’s totally cool!
      Angelique and Samtistico to the rescue: Avengers of all unjust caused by meanies and poop heads!
      Your AWESOME. Thanks for all the fun comments. I really enjoyed conversing in our silly way.
      Big Bouncing Angelique Bubbles coming your way. xoxox Sam

  7. Oh my goodness. Look how many subjects you covered in this post! Reading it reminds me of how some people must feel when they get exasperated looking at me because I’ve covered 1300 topics in three sentences. But there’s so much to fit in!!! There’s so many tangents to go down, how do you pick the right one?

    (That stresses me, actually, that whole 5000 tangents and only being able to pick 1 thing. Especially because I know I won’t be able to remember where I was at when I decide I want to go back to the beginning and try another one of the tangents. How cool, for a photographic memory!)

    Enjoying your posts as always, Samtastico 🙂

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