Some early mornings I sit in my van in the driveway and weep deeply. Today was one of those mornings. I listened to a song over and over and let the tears fall.
I’m learning to let my emotions come. And I’m learning to take care of myself. Really take care of me. Because I am precious and lovely.
I took a Dead Sea Salt bath this morning. And I let myself be. This rebalanced me.
I experience extreme emotions, daily. Sometimes they are mine; sometimes I find out that I am experiencing something akin to what a close friend or relative is experiencing.
I’m beginning to understand, to distinguish, the difference between my own emotions and others’. I’m beginning to understand how deeply affected I am by others’ core energy and thoughts—what is their essence, their fears, their joys, their belief and experience….and then beyond that to what is their spirit, the beautiful divine.
My “feelings” take me on great adventures. Often, daily, I spend hours upon hours, as if floating on air. I feel connected to the world, and a profound inner peace. I know without doubt I am surrounded by a fleet of angels, protected, watched and bathed in unyielding love.
There has been a great shift in me the last few weeks; where in I used to be carried away with my extreme emotions, now I am a bystander. I have the ability and capacity to step outside of the experience and become the silent observer offering my inner transitioning self my unconditional support. This other me, this “higher” me, she is constantly content, at peace, and in love with herself, others and life. She isn’t weeping or flying on the air. She just is.
I’ve been “practicing” visualizing what I want in my life. It’s been fun, in that giddy-little-girl way. I keep hearing behind me somewhere, or perhaps from deep within me, to be careful what you wish for, as the universe usually unfolds to give me what my deepest desires are.
I’ve had to reel in some of my own thoughts and needs, and continually pray for the higher good of my self and others, as I have a few fanciful ideas of my own that are only for my pure pleasure.
The other day, actually last week, I wanted to see how this visualizing worked. I wanted something fun and easy. I wanted something light-hearted—something my girlfriends would giggle at.
And so I asked, jokingly, for my angels to make husky (handsome) men in flannel shirts appear all day long. For then I could imagine laughing with my friends at the sudden rugged appearance of flannel-wearing hunks. I carried my friends with me throughout the day. And wouldn’t you know it, at every turn, in the stores shopping, on the streets wheeling out garbage, in cars and trucks and busses, were men in flannels. I wondered what would have happened if I had added the word naked to my list.
The next day I asked for a butterfly, that’s all I wanted. I wanted confirmation from my angels that they hear my prayers. And so, in the dark of winter, I visualized seeing a butterfly in flight. A real butterfly. I was specific. An image wouldn’t do.
I felt inside they would produce this for me. I felt in a few days time I would see a butterfly. And I would know.
Yesterday, we took a trip to a museum. I had no idea or forethought about the exhibits presented there. Turns out there was a huge butterfly exhibit. One where you walk inside, through the humid air and greenery and flowers in bloom, and get to dance within the sweeping butterflies. So many in flight, so many colors, so beautiful. And oh so confirming. I’d like to go back and just sit in the butterfly world for hours upon hours and do nothing but watch them be.
What shall I visualize now?
I visualize your smile, your inner peace, your love, your beauty. And I so wish for you to see how gorgeously lovely you are in every feasible way, in all ways imaginable, the beauty in your richest dearest dreams, and I wish more for you to be lathered in the love of the universe, to be dipped and re-dipped in the goodness that is both you and me. To be overwhelmed with a sense of peace and a knowing you are exactly where you need to be. Bless you and the butterflies. May we all honor our season, whether in cocoon, or nearly set to flight, may we see how divinely brilliant we shine.
May you feel the sunshine on your shoulders, Dearest You!
Even in the smallest events there’s no such thing as coincidence. – Haruki Murakami
19 thoughts on “266: Husky Men, Butterflies, and Sunshine”
Essence of Joy is here. Beautiful:)
Lovely to say so. Thank you. 🙂
This was beautiful. I often cry just because too and find out later someone else I loved was really struggling. This visualization also happens to me and I loved that you used it to encourage people. Enjoy your day:)
So you know the feeling, then, of taking on another’s pain. Not an easy way to live, but I’m learning and growing, and know it serves some purpose. Glad to hear about the common traits between us. Thank you.
How wonderful the World would be, if following that same train of thought; we would think thoughts of Love whenever we think of anyone, Could it even be done? I’m going to try it this week, for any and everyone. If I think something negative, I will purposefully change it to love of something about them. Maybe it will become a way of life, here goes..
I really enjoyed your comment. The thought that you might do this makes my heart very happy. So glad to hear. 🙂
Hi Samantha, thanking for doing what you do in your eloquent way, my partner and I both have Aspergers and I sometimes find it difficult being with her , as I am sure she does with me, reading your words helps me to understand the female perspective greatly 🙂
I am very happy to hear that my words can help you and your relationship in someway. 🙂 Thank you for taking the time to let me know.
Life is a four letter word: Love. It’s a beautiful way of spelling out our moments.. One day I’ll learn how to comprehend past a 3rd grade level. Thanks for the wonderful lesson Teacher! 🙂
Thank you for reading and commenting Pretty lostbythesea. 🙂
Ah, Sam! Thanks for the visualizations. I am a little aggravated for the last few days. Not sure why, but think I am just tired.
Working on it, though.
Oh, I hope you feel better soon with what you are going through. I was feeling under the weather myself. Much light and love sent your way. 🙂
Thanks, that’s so sweet.
I am happy and also interested in knowing how you distinguish between others emotion and energy and your own… I also tend to reflect my own emotion onto others mistaking it for theirs.
I am also going to practice some visualisation. Thanks Sam.
Others comes in with an intensity and almost panic, and my mood shifts momentarily. It doesn’t match what is happening in my environment. You are welcome Bubbles. xo
this is so very beautiful and encapsulates so much of what i personally have been feeling lately , you are a beautiful soul
Thank you for your very kind words. Thank you for sharing a bit of your experience. 🙂
Hi Samantha. fellow Aspie here, may I ask how you feel about collecting butterflies? 🙂
I don’t like anything living to be captured or taken out of their natural element, but as I grow older I recognize and believe everything serves a purpose, and since the butterflies were there, I focused on their beauty and the love they were spreading to others. I’ve always been very sensitive to animals and want them to be free and happy. Great question. And I don’t care at all to see collections of dead animals. Zoos can be hard. But I appreciate places that protect animals that have been injured like a wolf haven near our home.