Day 70: Eleven Rabbits I Don’t Want to Be

1. The Glowing Green Rabbit

The glowing green rabbit is named Alba. She is an albino rabbit that was inserted with the gene that causes jellyfish to glow. She has no skin pigment. She is white with pink eyes but glows when illuminated with the correct blue light. Even though there are no side effects, and Alba is healthy and gentle, I wouldn’t want to be injected with jellyfish-glow.

2. The Other White Meat

I don’t want to be raised as an elite expensive meat or considered a low cholesterol, lean protein that tastes like chicken. I’d live to be about ten weeks old and then killed by a sharp blow to the head behind the ears, while being dangled upside down by the feet.

3. Little Rabbit Foo Foo

Known as a bully, Little Rabbit Foo Foo is the main character in a popular, light-natured children’s song. Nice to be famous, but the idea of repeatedly scooping up field mice and bopping them in the head sounds tedious and exhausting. Not my idea of fun. And since I don’t always behave, I’d surely be turned into a goon.

4. Bunnicula

The character in a grade three level fictional book, Bunnicula is thought to be a vampire bunny. She sucks the juice from vegetables. The harmless bunny has fangs and strange eating habits. I don’t want to be a rabbit in a story that begins on a dark and stormy night. And I don’t want to suck vegetables.

5. An Isle of Portland Underground Mutton

On the Isle of Portland in Dorset England the word rabbit is a taboo. Rabbit represents bad luck on this isle.  In the earlier times, during the quarry industry, quarry men would see rabbits emerging from burrows right before a rock would fall. Rocks killed and injured workers. To avoid bad luck some substitute rabbit with words such as long ears and underground mutton.

6. Energizer Bunny

This marketing mascot for Energizer batteries confronts film villains like the Wicked Witch of the West, King Kong, Wile E. Coyote, and Darth Vader. He’s been on the go nonstop since 1989. He likes hot air ballooning. The thought of continually operating indefinitely, being donned head to toe in pink, with uncomfortable sandals while banging a drum nonstop, isn’t appealing. Despite the fame and cool sunglasses, I don’t want to be a big balloon in a parade or a vernacular term for something that continues endlessly. That sounds like pure hell.

7. A Killer Bunny

The mutated cavernous rabbits in the 1972 Horror Film, Night of the Lepus, attack a small town in Arizona. I don’t want to eat people. I don’t want to be a murderous icon of the 70’s horror cinema era where a herd of killer something was always on the approach. Nor do I wish to be jeered and mocked by night-time dwellers on the Internet cursing one of the most ridiculous horror movies ever made.

8. Hare 

No matter how you tell the story, in Aesop’s classic tale, The Tortoise and the Hare, the hare is the disgraced, self-righteous, prideful, and arrogant loser that falls asleep during a race.

9. Mr. Bun

Mr. Bun is a stuffed rabbit that belongs to Susie Derkins in the infamous Calvin and Hobbes Comic Strips. Calvin does not like to play with Mr. Bun. The stuffed toy is frequently forced to partake in tea parties with Susie. He is considered only a stuffed rabbit and comatose. Mr. Bun is feasibly Susie’s only friend.

10. Genetically Furless Rabbit

I don’t want to be naked, genetically mutated, and locked indoors to avoid sunburn. Nor told by researchers that I’m more comfortable without my fur than other rabbits with fur because of the Southern Texas climate. I’ll keep my fur and dignity, thank you very much.

11. A Chocolate Bunny

I don’t care if you eat me head first or feet first, either way you are munching on my body parts and devouring me. Leftovers are melted down for fondue or found by sniffing dogs.

Added by popular demand! The Killer Rabbit from The Holy Grail (Although that looks fun!)

18 thoughts on “Day 70: Eleven Rabbits I Don’t Want to Be

  1. OMG Sam all my life i wanted to be a rabbit but not anymore, you are so right they suck big time…and that fur less rabbit is ugliest why would someone create a fur less rabbit genetically ?????whats the purpose…I agree with you no way no rabbit life
    the last one chocolate rabbit looks so yummy its better to eat one than be one
    You saved my life!!
    I will give you one more reason why not to be rabbit,click the link

    1. Thanks for the comic! You could take a risk and still be a rabbit. I’m sure there are lots of happy hares. 🙂
      Just don’t get stuck as an old lady’s slipper. Yikes. Happy Day. Hugs.

  2. !!!! And this shows why I REALLY look forward to your posts!!! Let us not forget Bugs Bunny and his cruel torture methods…lol

  3. And don’t forget my personal favorite… The killer rabbit in Monty Python’s Holy Grail. Only the best rabbit scene in a movie, ever! 🙂

      1. Yes, you must watch this movie! I introduced it to my son when he was about 12 and it was on a continuous play loop for weeks. He can quote the entire movie, including, of course, the killer rabbit scene. 🙂

  4. Ah, to round it out to an even 12, let’s also add the killer bunny from Monty Python’s “Quest for the Holy Grail”. That’s one scary Bunny!!!
    Great Post, especially for Easter.

    1. 11 is one of my favorite numbers. I wanted the list to be 10, but couldn’t figure out which bunny to delete. I do not know this Killer Bunny you all speak of, must research. Happy Easter. Thanks for stopping by. ~ Sam

  5. Ha ha ha ha

    Yes, I agree with kindredspirit23 must add “killer bunny”.

    I never got “Little Rabbit Foo Foo” when someone sang it to me I would get angry and tell them that they were mean. I still will!! “Bunnicula” LOL!!

    What about “Here Comes Peter Cottontail ” I drove my mom batty singing this song over and over and over and over while hopping around the house, hanging upside down from the couch and doing somersaults. (Ok, I admit there may be times when you can find me still doing this. Shhh!)

    Sam you are hilarious!

    1. I’ll have to look up this killer bunny! lol about Rabbit foo foo. I know, Bunnicula, there had to be a vampire in there somewhere. I like Peter Cottontail. I would be him! Thanks Angel. Smiles ~ Sam

  6. ha ha ha…very cool rabbit stuff! 🙂 i love it! interesting rabbit facts added to my mediocre knowledge about rabbits…lol…when i was a little girl, “white rabbit” candy was very popular…and i do love old bugs bunny…yessssss! who would forget that hare and turtle fable…lol…read a lot of Aesop’s too when i was a kid…this is nice, Sam! very “easteryish” 🙂 🙂

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