Day 157: The Demons at the Door

The Demons at the Door

The phone rang: one old pale orange phone with a curled orange cord that hung on the light blue wall.

A heavyset woman with a short-shaved haircut picked up.  She looked like my mother’s long ago roommate, the heavy-boned woman who taught me how to shower; the one I’d once tried to forget.  The one that reminded me of plums—how they can be split open with bare hands and the insides all sucked out.

“Stew, it’s for you!” The stranger hollered across the lobby.  Her eyes scanned the room like a mother surveying the clutter on a table. She hadn’t wanted to truly look, but she did nonetheless. “Anybody seen Stew?”  She scanned again while yawning, and then spoke.   “Can’t find him. Try again later.”

The rest of this story can be found in the book Everyday Aspergers

© Everyday Aspergers, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

Song to go with found here.

33 thoughts on “Day 157: The Demons at the Door

  1. This gave me chills. Sad, sad. So many lonely souls who’ve lost their present and their future. Stuck in the past. I know the feeling of losing all that too.

    So vivid. I know too, feeling out of place, not wanting to share. Seems a bit of an odd rabbit hole that protagonist of yours is in. But Whiz got to me in the end. And so beautifully titled too. Thank you for sharing Sam. Know that if I could walk inside the story, I would try my damnedest to rescue that girl from six years ago.

    1. Thank you very much. I know you would do just that…..come in and rescue…but I am safe now. And better for the journey. Able to understand so much. Thank you, too, for all your kind words. I made an audio, too. Just posted it on the blog…he he…too chicken to show my face. Reading was scary enough. HUGS to you sweet lady and awesome MOM. xoxox Sam

  2. Hello my lovely friend, I hate that you had to go through this but I know that you are stronger for it. I know that, as you are always saying to me, these things are our teacher. I also know your heart to reach out to those who feel alone, you share what you have lived and you do this so well. So many will feel connected to your story, they may never share as you have but they will feel better for reading/listening to your words. I am so proud of you for both sharing your story and making an audio. Thank you for doing that you know how my dyslexia kicks in, this was excellent for me. I love your voice and your accent too.
    Smiling at you and sending you {{{hugs}}} Me. xxx 🙂 ❤

    1. Lovely comment. Chuckling thinking I have an accent….lol…lol….Probably a California one. he he. So glad you had a listen and enjoyed. 🙂 Your words of encouragement I will hold close to my heart. Wonderful support you are offering. Thank you so very much. Yes, our teachers through this journey of life. xxoxo 🙂 Sam

  3. Sam- this was SO awesome- made it even more real than just your written words. Youa re such a strong woman to have gone through that and come out stronger and (at least seems to me more confident). I agree, you have an accent LOL 🙂 But your voice truly makes you shine and I will be hearing that voice every time I read anything you post from now on. Sending you many positive thoughts, thank you for your amazing courage. 🙂

    1. Clapping! You were one of the two that inspired me to record my voice. Also a friend has dyslexia, so I did this to help her. 🙂
      You had the guts to make a video for the first time…so that made me brave. Of course, I didn’t show myself in the camera….lol….still a little chicken…he he
      Yes, I am much more confident, now. Very much so.
      Accent….that just cracks me up to no end! Like, you know, I’m soo Valley! lol
      So glad you read and liked the audio piece.
      Thanks for those positive thoughts. Gladly accepted.
      love and light to you,
      Sam 🙂

      1. West coast vs Boston you truly have more accent than me. Glad I was part of your inspiration as you were part of mine to start writing. 🙂

  4. Ahhhh well:). Your voice really made this. The accent and timbre just added to what was already a gripping telling. And I see you today. And get a peak at your past and look at you. Its a amazing and so wonderful:))))))

    1. Thanks, Sir D for coming along for the journey. So glad to have you along for the ride. And a ride it is, indeed. I guess I have an accent. 🙂 LOL…never knew. What do Florida people sound like??? And knights of fishland….what accent do they have??? Your words are very sweet like kiwi. Hugs you.
      Sam 🙂

      1. Guttsy translucent you sammy ——- 🙂 You know what i mean – You wear Your heart on Your shirt …. You wear it on the outside …..:)
        i admire you my sweet – so very much ……:)


  5. Wow…I’m well…kind of speechless…loved hearing your voice read your story…funny, I just did a several recordings of mine today…and now..I’m considering adding them. It was an alive story beginning to end. shivering

    1. Yes…it was a shivering experience for me, as well. So glad it’s long ago, and I’ve grown and moved forward. Thank you for taking the time to listen to this. Hugs to you. 🙂 Sam
      Oh…I do hope to hear your voice, too. 🙂

  6. Oh my — was just going to comment and then read you did an audio version of this… I must listen before I chatter here… but suffice to say – you are incredible and one of the most evolved souls I’ve encountered. Be back after I get to hear Sea-Sister’s voice …where is it… I’ll figure it out xo

  7. Oh how amazing that was Sam… your voice is full of spirit (not surprising)… and you are a wonderful story teller (Cantadora would be a perfect role for you). But this is your tale— which is even more meaningful… all the characters truly come alive and can feel your presence back those 6 years ago. Frightening … it was, and just unnerving to be surrounded by so much unknown and unwell. I know each person you encountered meant something to you, and taught you something… which in total contributes to who you are today, so for this I love each of them, as I would imagine you do too. Think we could loose the eggs though 🙂 Whiz’s words at the end really made me reflect….. I do think sometimes it is better to have no choice~ Superb work Sam — you are the bomb!! Sending Love this evening Sea Sister from Eastern Long Island (NY) ~ Robyn

    1. Thank you. I wasn’t sure how my reading came across. I just imagined I was back in my fifth grade classroom, and a teacher again, reading to the children aloud. I made a few mistakes, but didn’t let that bother me, and tried to be genuine with my intention. I’m so happy you could feel my presence. I thought this piece, in particular, needed a voice with it. To honor some of the ghosts, I imagine. Yes, this was markably one of the most profound and humbling experiences of my life. And I will share on the blog at some point how my prayers were answered during this time as a result of this “low” point. Yes……Whiz…..very interesting man he is.
      Love that I’m the bomb….that’s so cool. You are very kind to leave such a detailed and sweet comment.
      Yay…..when I visit my friend in Connecticut we will be going to NY….so, I will definitely get to see you in the next couple years, I hope! It’s one of my best buddies. She is flying here this weekend and I get to see her. So my turn, I hope, sometime soon, to fly her way.
      Hugs to you Sea Sister!!! You rock big time!! he he 🙂 🙂 🙂

  8. oh my…reading your blog brings back those memories…it happened to me in February of 2011 so everything is still “fresh” in my mind…all those characters in your story — i met them all…and no, i didn’t like it there…i know i don’t belong to a psych ward, but the experience was quite a “teacher” and i did learn many things…most importantly — i found out that i’m not crazy 🙂 🙂 thank heavens 🙂 🙂 thanks for sharing your story, sam…

    you have such a young-sounding voice…like me…lol…very nice, i love it!!!! and what a wonderful storyteller you are!!!! i could listen to your stories all day, Sam…i read and listened…listened and read your story about 3x…lol…very courageous of you and thanks again for being the light that you are 🙂 🙂 love and {{hugs}}

    1. Awe, sweetie, so sorry you had to undergo such terrible trials….but, yes, we do come out stronger, don’t we? 🙂 I know….girly-voice. People call my house and ask to speak to my dad. Atwood says this is another common trait of females with aspergers–young voice. So cute, you are, to listen three times…he he…what a compliment and an honor.
      Humbled by you sweetness and kindness.
      Much love to you,
      Sam 🙂

  9. Sam: Even though the subject matter was tough, it was so pleasant to finally hear your voice! You are a pleasure to listen to and quite a narrator!

    I mean nothing derogatory at all by saying this, but there was more than a touch of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” in this post. (That movie may have been before your time.)

    I hope you are doing well and that this post—and others like it—help you work through some things!

    Keep smilin’!

    1. Oh, yes, indeedy…one flew over the cuckoo’s nest…I remember seeing that as a child. 🙂
      Thanks for listening. It was fun to create. A little scary, but lots of fun to do. And this is, ironically, one of my favorite stories to read aloud. Thanks so much! 🙂 Sam

  10. Sam you have such a beautiful voice and what i loved was the voice modulation when you were reading the dialogues…what a stunner,this post..
    err accent !! what accent every one has it so ….
    anyways i was so lost in that incredible powerful story and that sweet voice narrating i didnt notice any accent…..

    1. I’m so happy you listened. Thank you for taking the time. Awe….such sweet comments, sweet, sweet Soma. I will keep them close to heart. HUGS….and in my next life time, I call YOU for my Mum! xoxox Sam

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