Day 133: Whispered Lullaby

autismslove.blogspot.com
Created by my friend

Whispered Lullaby

I whisper thee a lullaby

To sing thy soul to sleep

A gentle breeze of humming wings

To soothe and offer peace

A place of solitude within

Where angels touch the truth

And carry forth to eyes of babe

The whereabouts of youth

I whisper thee a lullaby

To sing thy hope to sleep

With empty voice and quiet ears

To chance love never meets

A place of gated reckonings

Where nothing happens real

And carry forth to mouth of one

The morning bells to heal

I whisper thee a lullaby

To sing thy gape to sleep

A blindfold made of atmosphere

To chase away thy sheep

A place of dreams dried rapidly

Where desire’s last doth bleed

And carry forth to heart of mine

The love that grows through seed

I whisper thee a lullaby

To sing thy grace to sleep

With pampered pains of yesteryears

To tender flames of weeps

A place of casualty of want

Where emptied withered cries

And carry forth to joy of light

The rocking chair that glides

I whisper thee a lullaby

To sing thy depths to sleep

A phantom dance upon a land

To steer away the deep

A place of missing merriment

Where answered call was naught

And carry forth to falling tears

The cloth that soothes the daunts

I whisper thee a lullaby

To sing thy rain to sleep

With hurricane of floodgates leaked

To erase what spirit keeps

A place of choking roots of need

Where thirst is met with blood

And carry forth to angel’s wings

A case to trap the mud

I whisper thee a lullaby

To sing thy ache to sleep

A hope that withered in the field

To scathe abandoned heaps

A place of dreams collapsed in sun

Where looker blindly turned

And carry forth this crystal-clasp

A salve to ease the burn

I whisper thee a lullaby

To sing thy pangs to sleep

With path of frosted glass opaque

To find what’s not to keep

A place of past and future joined

Where other spun and left

And carry forth a winged dove

A chance for inner rest

I whisper thee a lullaby

To sing thy angst to sleep

A passion so engorged within

To move is giant leap

A place of casualty of war

Where battles never cease

And carry forth the purest sheet

A bedding for thy grief

I whisper thee a lullaby

To sing thy dreams to sleep

With hope unraveled in the wind

To watch as chance does seep

A place of deaf awakening

Where prayers are left for naught

And carry forth a candle white

A surrendering of thought

I whisper thee a lullaby

To sing thy night to sleep

A day extinguished by the dark

To fetch a ride and meet

A place of lonely passenger

Where single rides along

And carry forth this arms embrace

A haven for thy song

By Me 🙂
 © Everyday Aspergers, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. https://aspergersgirls.wordpress.com

Day 132: In Short

Here are my favorite shorts I have written. I invite you to choose. 

Day 12: Short piece about being me.  Behind the Curtain 

Day 16: Short story about a friendship. The Bus Stop

Day 20: Philosophical prose.   The Wounded Healer

Day 34: A bitter-sweet short.  A Lonely, Heart-Broken Pillow

Day 45: A short fictional rhyming story. The Land of Grand: A Story of Hope 

Day 58: Predicting the future. Angel and Mary

In Short

Since I started blogging everyday

I have noticed that what matters in life

View from my balcony a few days ago. Sigh.

Is readily available

Lake where I walk

And this realization

Love

Helps me to forget about

Yes, this is my bed!

What I used to think mattered.

sam

Day 130: The Two Cups

I recognize this as a very odd post. This second chakra awakening, passion, or transition—whatever words are chosen to attempt to decipher what is occurring for me at a soul and cellular level, is directly related to reclaiming the spirit in me that was lost in my youth. My sensitive nature, depth of soul, and ability to take in extreme amounts, coupled with the circumstances of my childhood, led me to lock a large portion of my self away.

This portion locked away, was largely the part which knew I was beautifull, knew I was worthy, and knew I was desirable. When very young, I learned how not to live, how not to show joy, how to in effect dislike myself and my body in order to survive.

In knowing this now, with a profound awakening on multiple levels, I am holding a cup in either hand. To the right of me is the hope of this now found passion. To the left, balancing my position, are the memories. I am seeing how each feeds the other. The erupting passion on one side, the imploding self on the other. The flame and the joust.

Here I place the cups before you. Experience as you’d like. For we each stand with two cups. All equally balanced in beauty.

Embracing Me

One of the reasons I am taking photos of myself lately is to embrace the beauty that is me. I never have seen me before. Seen how very lovely inside and out I am. This is part of my growth process. My hair is usually unbrushed and I wear no makeup, say lip gloss. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s fresh. I love it. 

Breaking Free
Maui 2012

Flame

Naked

He beckons

The depths of me

Fingers dripped in sweet

Honey-suckle nectar

Lips moist

Dew upon the fields of sunrise

Strawberry mist

Pours through

A damp fire of longing

Reclaims pleasure

Lighting the avenue of discontent

With fierce flames of gentle dragon

Until

Devoured by desire

I taste

The phantom of celestial union

Kissing ghosts

Where we once breathed

Beauty
Maui 2012

Switching the MOOD back to LOVE here. One of my FAVORITES…. This video WILL make you smile. I promise…and this is where I am today…in this state of mind. 🙂

Day 127: Enter the River

YESTERDAY
TODAY

I’ve started this post three times. First about the state of Washington, then about my dog Justice Black, then a poem about faith. But I think what I really need is someone to hold me and sing this song to me.

Having the spirit I do, I am constantly flooded with emotion. I do not know what to expect. Not that any humans do on this earth. But a part of me would like to think that I know what is ahead of me. When in truth, the only thing for certain is this very moment. This very moment that I am crying with such depth. All these feelings. All coming up from long ago; they feel so distant like they are from centuries ago—life times ago. So much grief and happiness, all mixed together.

I am crying so loudly, knowing I am born to be this being, but not always knowing how to comfort this spirit that I am. Knowing so much, so fast, and in such profound ways is overwhelming. Being who I am is overwhelming. Ever since I was a child I have dreamt of the future, I have known things before other people, I have had people visit me in their dreams and tell me of their joys and pain, I have seen angels, spirits, and the dark, I have had answers to prayers, I have seen miracles, I have seen so very much.

I have been called to leadership my entire life, when this gentle, fragile part of me, longs to only be sheltered and protected, to be swept up in a special one’s arms and told that I am safe, that I am found, that I am truth, that I am love. To be told that someone else is fighting for me, someone else not letting go. I am always the one holding on the tightest…..to everyone and everything. The passion in me is so intense at times that I do not know what to do with myself.

I feel the pain of those from thousands of miles away; I feel their joy, too. Energies attach to me, and I can’t distinguish mine from others. Thoughts of others reach me. And I have never been able to stop this, with all the teachers I have sought, I have found limited answers. And many times, longing to be student, I have in turn become teacher. I have looked for my teacher my entire life. Someone who sees more than me. Someone who knows more than I know innately. And I have yet to find him.

I have battled with the voice of demons daily, telling me why I am not of light, when I know I am. I have seen terrible visions in dreams, as if someone is trying to stop me. But I keep fighting.

I embrace light everyday. I am as honest and whole and authentic as I can be. But then, I am raw on the outside, made vulnerable to everything and everyone.

I can do nothing without feeling. I cannot eat without being directly affected by the food. Each food affects my physical body and mind differently. It is easier not to eat. I am affected by weather patterns, by the sun, by the lack of sun. I am affected by chemicals, by environmental toxins—a little bird in the coal mine. I am affected by every vibration of every word I read. I feel through words. I feel energy. I see images. I know others’ pain. I see other’s pain. I know without knowing how. And I cry for them, as much as me. I don’t understand why I was born with such extreme sensitivity. Why I understand concepts at great, great depth. Why I cannot stop thinking about certain people. Why they are like angels to me. I don’t understand why I still feel so isolated when I am surrounded in love.

I don’t understand the voices of guidance I hear. I don’t understand how I can hear such knowledge, and why, in some ways, I have been chosen to shine my light. I feel so unworthy to do so. I feel so inadequate and ill prepared, as if I will never be strong enough to stand upright when I carry the burdens of the world.

But then a gentle voice whispers.

He says I am loved immensely.

I am right where I am supposed to be.

That I have chosen to be a voice.

That I am so very strong and brave to have endured so very much.

And that he holds me.

That he loves me above all else.

And that he is so very sorry that I have to feel such depths of pain.

But that in return he has given me great depths of joy.

A joy so many cannot and will not ever know.

He reminds me of how good and pure I am.

How beneficial to the world I am.

That I am a gift.

He reminds me that all is okay.

That I am sheltered each and every second.

That I will not fall.

That I will not die.

That I will live on.

That my light and my substance, my innocence will live on.

Nothing and no one will snuff my light.

Nothing and no one will stop me from shining.

And I weep louder.

And I understand.

Like I have understood since I was a tiny little girl crying alone in the dark.

That he is there. That he is here.

That he is always holding me.

Maui “Enter the River”
2012

Enter the River

Enter the river, the spirit of me

And I will show you visions

Unseen

Unspoken

Enter the river, the heart of me

And I will embrace you with love

Everlasting

Ever growing

Enter the river, the mind of me

And I will enlighten

Truth

Knowing

Enter the river, the healer of me

And we will be as one

Embraced

United

 

 

 

Wounded Healer Writing

Day 125: I Am…

Portland, Oregon —- Reflection of Tree in Window with Words I AM
May 2012

I AM

Hidden in window

Waves of reflection

I am

Watching

Helplessly

As he slips through parched fingers

Cool water

Evaporated

Into sky

I am

Longing for his sky

Same world

To  break free

If only momentarily

From this prison of glass

by Sam Craft

Maui 2012

Return 

Erotic Dancer

Moves like dripping sunlight between sheets

Swaying sensually

In the coming of last summer’s day

Amid the amber warmth of season gone

And fall’s approach

Embraced

In oneness

Scattered crimson crows through open door

A trail of breathing soul

Hopes

Prays

Winged-wind doth carry thee home

To me

by Sam Craft

Sam Craft

Today I weep to the music of the Carpenters, with a depth I’ve never felt before. And I dance, to ABBA, with a glee only known to the Dancing Queen. This is me, today. All over the fricken place!

 

Weeping Again.